Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Day 1135

When the dogs and I returned from our walk this morning, there was a process server waiting for us on the front porch. I was served with a subpoena. WTF? Why would anyone sue me? I am one of the most unlikely people on the planet to get involved with a lawsuit. I don't do much of anything and I rarely even see people. When I read through the legal documents I had been served with, I discovered that I wasn't being sued after all. Instead, I was being asked to give a deposition. It was one of my clients who was being sued and they apparently decided to drag me along for the ride. According to Janet, this probably wasn't a wise decision. She doesn't think I should even be allowed in a courtroom. "You talk too much," she tells me. When I told her about the deposition, she admonished me to just answer the lawyer's questions. "Don't try to regale the court with all your weird long-winded theories," she said. "It won't end well."

I saw some kids painting on the trunk of a dead tree the other day, so this morning I walked over to the tree to get a closer look at their handiwork. It actually looked kind of cool. Especially when framed as a square Instagram photo. This chunk of tree art reminded me of my friend Chuck in Seattle. He used to tell me that anything was art if you put it in a nice frame. To prove his point, he gathered up a bunch of trash he found on the street, flattened it out, and had the debris professionally framed. The resulting "pictures" eventually wound up in a gallery show and ended up getting good reviews.

Erykah Badu drove by in her big black Porsche Panamera while the dogs and I were walking past her house this morning. Sometimes I'd like to be a celebrity driving a big black Porsche. It probably isn't all it's cracked up to be though. I'm probably better off just walking dogs and taking pictures of painted tree trunks. I remember meeting Richard Petty once back in the days when I was doing Pepsi commercials. He was a real nice guy and insisted on eating Kentucky Fried Chicken out of a big bucket with me and the film crew at lunch instead of going off with the clients to a fancy restaurant. The guy seemed so tired though. You had to yell in his ear because he was stone deaf from years of racing. Whenever there was a break in the filming, his business manager put him to work signing autographed posters. All day long he signed these things wearing a special glove so he wouldn't get carpal tunnel. What kind of a life is that? I bet celebrities get sued a lot too.

I've got to go see the doctors at the liver institute tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to that at all.

Chloe is today's Dalmatian of the Day
Watch of the Day

1 comment:

  1. I don't envy you the doctor or the deposition, but today's watch is cool.