Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Day 1645

I've got to come up with a new game plan. Much of what I do these days doesn't even matter. I still like to think that I'm clever and essential, but I've become much more of a convenience than a necessity. If I didn't get out of bed tomorrow, few people would even notice. This bothers me. Shouldn't I be following my dream? I don't know. Following dreams has become a tricky business in a world where dreams and passions have become synonymous. I am a dispassionate person. I like to do useful things. Appealing to your emotions? Not so much. Unfortunately, advertising is all about appealing to your emotions. I probably should have been a physicist or a mathematician instead. Years ago, I used to be a good documentary filmmaker. I didn't have an agenda. I just took pictures of what I saw. Documentaries have changed like everything else though. Most current documentaries are all about emotion. The filmmaker wants to win you over to a certain point of view. Even street photography has an agenda now. I find the only thing that's safe to photograph these days are flowers. Ironically, people seem to like these photographs because they evoke some sort of emotion in them.

So here I am. By rejecting the world of emotional persuasion, I am left with some pretty boring tasks. I don't have to do these things, but I like to stay busy. When I'm busy, I don't have time to think about the nature of existence. I hate questions like "Why am I here" and "What was I meant to do." Maybe that's why Andy Warhol was one of the heroes of my youth. Andy wanted to be a machine. He approached things very mechanically, yet he managed to have a rich and interesting life in the process.

If you have read this far, you already know that I wasn't busy enough today. I didn't question my existence though. I went to the gym. I still can't figure out why the gym is so much busier on weekdays than on weekends. It is counterintuitive. The weights and machines I like were still open though, so I had a good workout. On the way home, I went to the grocery store instead of the guitar store as I had planned. That's where my head is at these days. I can't think much further than dinner.

Dash goes back to the cancer center for a monthly checkup tomorrow. He's just getting some routine blood tests and possibly a chest x-ray, but I'm worried about his tail. Dash got his bloody tail at the cancer center in the first place. He is so happy to see the other dogs that he wags his tail constantly in the doggie day care area where he stays until the staff is ready for him. Since the area is relatively small, he is always banging the tail against a wall or a door.  Now that I'm finally getting his "happy tail" injury to heal, I'd hate to start all over again. Hopefully, he'll be a bit calmer when we drop him off for his exam tomorow.

I could probably go to the gym every day this week if I wanted. That's how slow it has been.

Bali is today's Dalmatian of the Day
Watch of the Day


  1. I try not to think about the why or the how I simply know that I must. I can't think when I am hungry either.
    I hope all is well with Dash and her tail heals soon.

  2. You need a new toy- something mechanical that will engage you. Or a puzzle, or a new computer language.