Day 3185

I've learned to be very patient with Dash. It took about five tries to get him walking this morning. He would go out on the back porch, sniff the air for a while, and then come back inside. I used to think that Dash was too tired to walk when he did things like this. Sometimes he actually is tired, but not always. Today, he just wanted a certain treat we keep in the refrigerator. When I finally figured out what he wanted and gave him the special treat, he turned around and headed straight for the back gate.

Living with Dash is complicated. You have to know the difference between stubbornness, dementia, fatigue, and pain. This morning Dash was being stubborn, but other days he is simply exhausted. I dread the day when Janet and I reach this stage of life. My Dad acted a bit like Dash in his final days. It must be very difficult to realize that your body and mind are deteriorating and know that there is nothing you can do to stop the process. Dash might not be fully aware of what is going on, but animals are smarter than we think they are. He's got to know that he isn't the dog he used to be and I'm sure it is frustrating.

Today was slow, but what else is new. Truthfully, today was exactly like yesterday and the day before. Tomorrow will probably be the same as last Friday. It might be exactly the same, because I'm planning to go back to the same restaurant I went to last week. I might try the French Toast this time.

I wonder why it is mandatory for TV weathermen to do live shots in the middle of a hurricane? Every time there is a bad storm, all the weathermen race to find the most dangerous spot they can and make their reports buffeted by wind and rain. I must have seen six different weathermen waiting on the beach for Florence to arrive today. I'm sure there will be even more tomorrow. Personally, I think living on the beach is overrated. With hurricanes, algae blooms, shark attacks, rip tides, and rising sea levels to worry about, I think I'd rather live in the mountains.

I have to go pick up the lithograph I took to the art conservator soon. The restoration is complete. I'm not looking forward to this. I don't really want to bring the art back to the house and I'm not sure the auction houses want it. Now that a lot of the other art has been consigned, this piece has become an orphan. It seems weird to spend a lot of money just to get a piece of paper to lie flat again, but what are you going to do. If I ever want to sell this thing, it's got to be perfect.

I don't know why I'm making such an effort to fix my mistake. I've bought plenty of stocks that were a mistake. I've accepted jobs that were a mistake. I probably need to accept the fact that storing art and guitars in a storage warehouse was a huge mistake and just accept my losses.

I hope I don't make any big mistakes tomorrow. I'll try my best to keep Dash happy. If it doesn't rain, I'll go out and have a nice breakfast. I'll probably take a few bills to the post office. That's probably enough for one day.

Molly is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2618

I don't know why I even bother to get Dash's blood pressure tested. He gets so agitated riding in the car that his blood pressure is almost always elevated by the time we arrive at our destination. Today, he was even worse than usual, whining and barking in my ear all the way to the cancer center. He didn't even calm down once we arrived. Needless to say, his blood pressure was high. The only times I've ever been able to get an accurate reading on Dash is when he's already in the hospital for an extended stay.

Dash eventually calmed down a little, but by then the nurses had already moved on to their next patients. While I sat in a room waiting for the doctor to arrive with his evaluation, Dash fixated on a jar full of dog treats sitting on a counter and started barking all over again. He was basically just a bad dog today, but the doctor did say that his condition had dramatically improved. Nobody seemed terribly worried that Dash's blood pressure was high, which made me wonder why I was spending my afternoon taking Dash to the vet. I did have to admit that Dash appeared healthy though. I wish there was a way to test Dash's blood pressure at home when he actually was relaxed, but human blood pressure monitors don't work on dogs, and veterinary monitors are very expensive and hard to use. For the time being, I think we're all going to assume that Dash's medications are working.

I took the images that I shot yesterday over to the client, but we had a hard time transferring them to the office server. Fewer and fewer computers seem to have an SDHC card slot anymore. Even Apple has dropped the SD card slot on their latest laptops. This makes no sense to me at all. You've got to have a way to conveniently move pictures from the camera to the computer. I doubt that computer makers care much about professional photographers these days. They've all realized that the vast majority of their customers take pictures with their phones. Eventually, we found an older computer in the back of the building that still had a card slot and transferred the images. I apologized for how big the file folder was, but the art director wanted RAW files. Hey, at least all the images got transferred before somebody accidentally erased them.

I wish I could think of a way to help Dot grow stronger. It would be nice if there was something that kept her mentally alert too. With each passing week she seems to become a little weaker. There really isn't much I can do at this point. Dot still enjoys her meals and we take our slow daily walk to the end of the street, but she spends a lot more of her time sleeping these days. She just doesn't have the energy anymore. This year feels like a long goodbye. I just hope I can make the transition as pleasant and pain free as possible. This Friday we go back to the cancer center for another ultrasound scan. I wouldn't be surprised to learn that her cancer had advanced significantly. It feels that way.

I still can't tell whether I've got a cold or allergies. It seems like my eyes have been watering and I've been sneezing for weeks now. It's a bit early for Spring allergies, but I don't have all the usual symptoms of a cold either. At any rate, I wish the red nose and itchy eyes would go away. I'm probably just run down. A week with eight hours of sleep every night would probably cure everything.

Tessa is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2246

I got the results from a routine urinalysis this morning and discovered that Dot has abnormally low protein levels, along with a couple of other abnormalities. Since these readings could indicate a possible loss of kidney function, I was worried. Dot's cancer is still growing very slowly, but there are no guaranties that it won't spread to other organs. She already had a re-check scheduled for March 1, but I called the cancer center and moved her appointment to tomorrow. Petey, one of our earlier Dalmatians, died of kidney failure. We didn't get much warning and this time I'd like to know what's going on as soon as I can.

There are many subtle signs that Dot is slowly going downhill. She tires easily. She is losing control of her bowel movements. She pants frequently and is more sensitive to touch than she used to be. Even though her heart and lungs remain strong, the cancer has taken its toll. I am not ready to say goodbye. Dot isn't either. Despite all her problems, she remains remarkably alert and engaged. If you've been reading for a while, you know how much Dot means to me. Hopefully, the tests we will do tomorrow are only a precaution. I wish there was more I could do, but there really isn't. Old age catches up with all of us in the end.

Janet had a breakfast meeting at work this morning, so we began our morning walk even earlier than usual. The sky was clear and provided me with what might be one of my last opportunities to see all five visible planets. It's interesting how quickly the planetary configuration changes. Mercury  appears to have already reached it's high point in the sky and is starting to sink back toward the horizon. Venus has been getting lower in the sky for quite some time now. Jupiter, which was very close to Venus only a few months ago, has already moved far to the West. I used to see Orion ahead of me as we walked toward the park each morning. Now Orion has moved to the evening sky and I see it when I take Dot out to pee before bed time. These changes are oddly comforting because they are so predictable. I could tell you exactly where Jupiter and Venus are going to be five years from now. I wish the rest of life were as predictable as this planetary dance. I'd like to know what lies ahead for Dot. I'd probably like to know what lies ahead for me as well. Financial planning would sure be a lot easier if I knew how long I was going to be around.

I've become intrigued with the new iPad Pro and may get one as soon as I have a little extra money. The large retina screen is fabulous and the fast processor and large internal memory make it a handy substitute for a laptop. One of these things would make a perfect teleprompter for video productions. Needless to say, I haven't produced any videos lately that required a teleprompter, but one can always hope. I probably don't need any new tech toys at all, but I think learning new things keeps me going. The day I finally realize there is no longer a reason to even turn the computer on in the morning will not be a good day.

I got my February invoices prepared and in the mail this afternoon. March invoices are going to have to be a lot better than this if I'm going to get that iPad Pro. Declining income. A declining stock market. Declining health. None of this is good. I know a small handful of people who have retired to beautiful golf course homes and seem to be living an idyllic life, but most are like me. We are confused with a world that has gone topsy-turvy on us. It wasn't supposed to be this way. No wonder Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump are so popular. I think each in our own way, we are all looking for something better.

Taylor is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2062

Janet and I drove up to the Lewisville kennels today to photograph the latest additions to the Dalmatian Rescue family. Even after all these years, I continue to be amazed that so many wonderful, friendly dogs like these could have been dumped and abandoned so casually. Every dog you see featured in my Dalmatian of the Day pictures was a member of the Dalmatian Rescue program at one point or another. We have helped hundreds and hundreds of Dalmatians find new homes, and this is just a single breed in a single city. Almost all of the widely recognized dog breeds have active rescue organizations very similar to ours. There are even larger, more ambitious rescue groups devoted to helping mixed breeds. You wonder how things ever got this bad. How can people treat a living animal like a disposable object? And why do people get a dog in the first place if they aren't willing to make a commitment to taking care of it? I just don't  understand people sometimes.

After we got back in Dallas, I sorted through the pictures and updated the Dalmatian Rescue website. It takes me a little longer to make the updates now that I have converted the site to a more complex mobile friendly format, but I don't think I'm in danger of running out of time. I've got more time than I know what to do with. Few people are fighting over my time anymore. The clients I have left probably don't realize what a good deal they are getting. I never miss a deadline, but I linger over their projects and try to make them last as long possible so I won't have to face the horrors of an empty day. I've worked all my life and I don't really know what to do with an empty day.

Realistically, an empty day is just a theoretical concept, now that the dogs are getting older and Dot is becoming so frail. Just taking care of Dot and Dash has turned into a full time job. I've developed a new respect for people who have children with disabilities. I don't know how they do it. I really sympathize with the ones who try to keep their personal ship afloat while running a small business or working out of their homes. I lead a pretty simple life and am lucky to have the time and resources to provide Dot and Dash with the best care I possible can. It's tiring and stressful though. Dogs live such a short time that I often feel like I've been living with dogs declining and dying all around me for the past twenty years. Spot, Petey and Greta are gone. I want to enjoy the unique friendship I share with Dot and Dash for as long as I can.

It looks like we've got at least another full week of triple digit temperatures. Now that we're locked in an August heat wave, I don't think anyone even remembers the Spring rain anymore. I wonder how long it is going to be before the lake levels start to drop again. It is really hot this Summer. It is no longer pleasant outside when we take our pre-dawn walks with the dogs. It's just a bit cooler than it's going to be later in the day. At least there's usually a nice breeze early in the morning and you don't have to worry about the pavement being too hot for the dogs paws. Once the sun hits your face, it's all over. By mid-afternoon the air feels like you're living inside a pizza oven.

I guess I'll go to the gym again tomorrow. They keep it nice and cold at the gym and the air conditioning almost makes the exercise worth it. I don't need to worry about mowing the grass anyway. The lawn isn't even growing anymore. I water on the days the city allows, but things keep getting drier. I haven't been up on the roof in over a month. That alone tells you how dry it has become.

Lilly is today's Dalmatian of the Day

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