Day 2832

If I'd waited just one more day, I wouldn't have had to repair the refrigerator myself yesterday. The appliance repair folks called and said the thermostats finally arrived. They want to come out and install them tomorrow. Oh, well. It was a learning experience.

It's going to be a busy day tomorrow. In addition to having the appliance repairmen out at the house, I've got a vet appointment for Dash. I hope the vet can shed some new light on Dash's ongoing problems. I"m worried that something is seriously wrong. I doubt that she'll have a definitive diagnosis, but maybe we can narrow down the range of possibilities. Dash has some very obvious symptoms. We just have to connect those symptoms to a plausible ailment.

I have a feeling that we'll be going to see a specialist again. All Dash's basic vital signs look good. If there is some new form of cancer lurking inside of him, it's probably going to take a MRI to discover it. The dog frequently has nausea in the morning and is not interested in eating. This could be a symptom of idiopathic vestibular disease. His rear legs seem weak and sometimes he drags his feet. This could be an early sign of degenerative myelopathy. His cancer could have returned too. Basically, almost anything could be wrong at this point. We've just got to find out what is causing all these problems.

I mowed the grass again this morning. Fall has definitely arrived, so hopefully this is the last time I'll have to mow this year. You never know in Texas though. We could get a lot of rain and the growing season could start all over again. I'm amazed at how tiring it is to mow the grass now. This task used to seem so easy. One of these days I'm going to have to give up and hire someone to maintain the yard. I'm not ready yet though. I keep thinking that the activity will do me good.

I wrote a letter to my luddite sister this afternoon. You'd think it would be easier to just call her on the phone, but this is how we communicate. I can't recall ever calling her on the phone. I think there are too many phone calls and far too few letters. Writing a letter helps to focus your thoughts. It's also a good way to avoid getting tangled up in family fights.

Dash is getting pretty good at leaving his injured dewclaw alone, but I still put the cone on him when I go to the post office or leave the house. We've made real good progress this week. I'd hate to ruin it all by leaving him to his own devices for an afternoon. Maybe after another week the wound will have healed enough so that we can retire the cone permanently.

On my way home from the post office I stopped at the storage warehouse to see when my annual rent was due. Just as I thought, it is due at the end of the week. Damn. One more big bill to pay. I have a feeling that I am going to be perpetually poor. The stock market continues to do well, but it isn't enough to replace a regular income. I've got to cut expenses. One obvious way would be to get rid of a lot of stuff in the storage warehouse so I could rent a smaller space. Lots of luck with that. I guess I've got another year to think about what I can part with.

I sure hope the vet can figure out how to get Dash eating again. Making sure he eats enough to stay healthy has become an all day activity.

Rosie is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2706

Dot is giving us quite a roller coaster ride. Yesterday evening and even early this morning we were feeding her with a syringe. She wouldn't even drink water. When she took her morning pills around 7 AM, I couldn't get her to eat anything. I was feeling discouraged, but we went ahead and took our morning walk anyway. Nothing seems to dissuade Dot from going on these walks. Dot went to sleep for a few hours when we returned. When she woke up, she went straight to her bowl in the kitchen and ate a full cup of kibble. When she finished eating, she went to her water bowl and drank quite a bit of water. I was amazed.

Dot had such difficulty eating this weekend that we were going to cancel tomorrow's appointment at the cancer center. There didn't seem to be much point in doing more tests if she'd given up eating. I was actually just about to call and cancel the appointment when Dot started eating again. This will be the second time that Dot has returned from the brink. What happened today was remarkably similar to what happened when she stopped eating a month ago.

I may have to revise my thinking. For a long time I've been convinced that Dot's extensive nerve damage was making it hard for her to swallow. I thought her throat was partially paralyzed. When we were feeding her with the syringe yesterday I noticed that her swallowing reflex was completely normal. As we slowly squirted the liquid down her throat, she swallowed it without any problem. When I watched her eating this morning, she seemed to be swallowing normally too.

We've known Dot was getting senile for a long time. Maybe her eating problem is all in her brain. Sometimes when she walks up to her food bowl I can almost imagine her thinking "what is this and why am I standing here." Perhaps when she gets really hungry, the rusty synapses in her brain make a connection and she remembers what eating is all about. I really have no idea what is going on, but I'm happy that Dot has continued eating normally for the rest of the day.

When she and Dash were sleeping this afternoon, I went to Central Market and got a few tasty things to encourage Dot to eat while she's taking her pills. Dot loves chicken tenders. She eagerly ate two chicken tenders while we were doing the pill routine this afternoon. We're going to continue giving her a syringe full of the Dogsure liquid supplement in the morning. She seems to like it and maybe this is what provided the catalyst to get her eating again.

It still seems like I spend my entire day feeding, walking, and worrying about these dogs. Dot has become a very high maintenance girl. Some days seem futile, but other days like today make everything Janet and I do seem worthwhile. Everyone says you will know when your dog is ready to cross over to the other side. Dot is not ready yet.

Rosco is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2704

There are good days and there are bad days. Dot had trouble eating again today. For some inexplicable reason, all the progress we'd made this week was gone. I could tell she was hungry, but when she attempted to chew something, it just fell out of her mouth. I really tried to interest her in food, but all she ate was a little broth from a can of the Ultramix chicken and potato stew, a few crackers, and the cheese I gave her with her pills. She wouldn't even eat the turkey slices today. This has happened before, but it is always discouraging. Maybe Dot's appetite will return when it's time for her evening pills in about an hour, but at this point it doesn't look hopeful.

When I wasn't trying to feed Dot, I ran my normal Saturday errands. I got a garden hose at Home Depot so I could wash my car again. I threw away the old hose last month after it developed a leak, but never got around to replacing it. I filled the car with gas. I must have really been out and about last week. I used four gallons of gas instead of the three I used the previous week. I've been buying bulk items like paper towels and laundry detergent at Sam's Club for many years. The items never change, but the prices have almost doubled in the past decade. I don't get it when people talk about how low inflation is. I'm not an economist, but when prices for almost everything you use have doubled, that's inflation to me.

I washed the car and did a little yard work while Dot was sleeping. It was so disheartening that I couldn't get Dot to eat today. I've gotten used to her appetite kicking in late in the day, but it just didn't happen. I always look for a rational explanation to everything, but sometimes there just isn't one. Advanced age has its own set of rules. If you're looking for logic and order, you probably won't find it in the aging process. Things just fall apart and not always in the ways you might expect.

Maybe Dot will wake up hungry and start eating again tomorrow morning. I hope so. I can't force feed her though. When she has no desire to eat for any length of time, I have to realize that she is telling me it is time to go. I'm going to remain optimistic though.  Dot is resting calmly now and doesn't appear to be in any distress. She took a nice walk today. I just need to keep her eating.

This is one of those days where midnight is rapidly approaching and I'm not even close to being ready for bed myself. I have a feeling that I have more to say, but it will have to wait until tomorrow.

Harley is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2696

If you are a regular reader, you are probably wondering how long things are going to go on like this. Is Dot getting better? Is she getting worse? What is her quality of life? I wonder about these things too. When Dot is eating and has some energy, I am tremendously encouraged. When she shows no interest in getting up, I am discouraged. When something unexpected happens, like vomiting in the middle of the night, I am alarmed. All I can tell you is that Dot isn't ready to leave us yet. There's always a point in the day when she is determined to take our short, but very slow, walk to the edge of the park. There are moments when she still barks at Dash, as if to say "Remember I'm still the alpha dog around here." I never know when she is going to become hungry, but when she does I'll hold her up by her bowl as she slowly eats her dinner one kibble at a time.

Today was like most days this week. There were high points and low points. The Cerenia pills definitely helped her sleep. There was no nausea last night and Dot slept comfortably all night. When Dot sleeps comfortably, we all sleep comfortably. I got more sleep last night than I have all week.

This morning, Dot wasn't hungry, but she did have energy. Luckily the weather was cool and we were able to take a nice walk to the edge of the park and sit in the grass for twenty minutes. I'd like to say that things got better and better, but Dot didn't have much of an appetite today. I had difficulty getting her to eat until very late in the day. When she did eat something around sunset, it wasn't enough to make up for the food she missed earlier in the day.

Every day is like this. Some days mornings are good. Other days, afternoons are better. Dot doesn't eat much, but the food she is eating now is nutritious and good quality. We do our best to make sure Dot is well hydrated and not starving herself. There are many small meals throughout the day. Dot eats when she wants and sleeps when she wants. If she heads toward the back gate, I take her on a short walk. I don't know how long she has left, but the goal is just to keep her happy, out of pain, and as well nourished as we can during her remaining days. It's not an easy job, but I feel that it is well worth the considerable effort it takes.

I didn't end up cooking this morning after all. I just didn't have the energy. I got some pancakes in a take-out box at a nearby restaurant and came home again. There were so many dog things to do this morning that it was almost noon before I got around to actually eating the pancakes. This is definately a work in progress. I'm still having problems keeping Dash from getting jealous when I'm feeding Dot. It's best if I do this while Dash is sleeping in the bedroom, but it doesn't always work out that way. Things need things to be calm and quiet while Dot is eating. If Dash starts barking, or swoops in to steal her food, progress usually stops.

I try to make a big deal about feeding Dash too, so he feels special. This has been partially successful, but dogs are dogs and Dash just isn't able to resist the sight of me sitting on the floor with Dot, surrounded with little plates of turkey, cheese, and other tasty food. Usually, if I can get Dot interested in food with something really tasty, she will then want me to hold her up so she can eat her regular kibble from her bowl. I'm counting on this, because it is the regular food she eats that is keeping her nourished.

My phone has been giving me problems lately. Almost every day I get an error message saying "No SIM card installed." Of course, there really is a SIM card and the phone works normally again once I turn it off and on again. It's just irritating. Today I thought I'd take the SIM card out and clean it. Hey, I've already tried everything else. I never realized that the SIM card was so small. I almost lost it when I popped open the tray and the little card fell on the floor. The SIM card is probably dirtier now than it was before, but the phone still works.

We're not going to give Dot a Cerenia pill tonight to see whether the nausea returns. In many ways it would be easier to just keep giving her the pills, but this is not a medication designed for long term use. We need to know what is causing the vomiting too. It might not be nausea at all. I hope that everyone sleeps well tonight and that the weekend is peaceful. We all need to recharge our batteries.

Dodger is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2695

I'm running on empty. Dot has become nocturnal. She sleeps during the day and becomes restless at night when I'm trying to sleep. I sleep on the floor with her now, so I'm nearby when she needs to get up. Last night she went outside three times in the middle of the night to pee. I guess this is better than peeing in her bed, but I sure am tired. Dot didn't throw up last night, so I guess the Cerenia pill helped. I should have given her a full dose instead of the half dose I usually give Dash. I could tell she still had an upset stomach, but it wasn't nearly as bad as the previous night. I"ll give her the full dose tonight and hopefully she'll sleep better.

When I woke up this morning Janet had already walked Dash and was almost ready for work. I didn't think I slept at all last night, but I must have dozed off, because I wasn't even aware of Janet and Dash leaving the house. Dot was sleeping soundly too. Finally. I delayed giving her morning pills so she could sleep longer and get some rest.

Dot worried me today. She was too tired to take her regular morning walk. Basically, she slept all day except when it was necessary to take her medications. Dot wouldn't even drink water this morning which was troubling. After one of her vets warned me about dehydration, I've become very conscious of how much water she drinks during the day. I thought I was going to have to learn how to use a syringe to hydrate Dot, but around 4 PM this afternoon, she woke up hungry and thirsty. I held her up by her water bowl for over fifteen minutes as she took tiny sips. Eventually, I saw the water level in the bowl go down a bit and I felt comfortable that she was getting enough water.

I never know what Dot is going to eat. The only thing I could get her to eat with her morning pills were thinly sliced pieces of turkey. I asked Janet to pick up more of this turkey on her way home from work because it seemed like our only remaining option. Dot slept soundly for most of the day. When I woke her up to take her afternoon pills, I was pleased to see that her appetite had returned. I was feeding Dash at the time and she went over to his bowl and started eating his food. Both dogs were eating out of the same bowl for a while, so I kind of lost track of how much food Dot actually consumed.

I'm going to have to do something about the bugs in our yard. When I'm holding Dot's harness and waiting for her to pee, it doesn't take long for the chiggers and mosquitoes to find me. I've already been bitten more times than I was all last summer. Chiggers are much worse than mosquitoes. The bites quickly become big red welts that take almost a week to subside. I'm still looking for that idyllic, imaginary place with no bugs, no snakes, and mild rain free weather.

My Friday morning breakfast outings are on hiatus for a while. Dot has simply become too frail to leave alone for any length of time. That's OK. I think I'll learn how to make pancakes and waffles again. I already can make a pretty decent omelette and my French Toast recipe is delicious. I'm in the mood for pancakes though. We'll see if I can make pancakes and sausages without making a huge mess in the kitchen.

If Dot doesn't sleep wall tonight, I'm going to have to become nocturnal myself. Sleeping during the day with the dogs never used to be an option, but work has gotten so slow lately that it probably doesn't matter when I sleep. The way I feel now, I might sleep for the entire weekend.

Dixie is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2690

The only time I go to the mall anymore is when I get a haircut. The place used to seem normal to me, but now it seems increasingly alien. The flowers are much more exotic than the ones I see at the park. The air is not only artificially cold, it is scented. Shoppers seem to dress better here than when they go to work. I don't get how this place works. The mall is usually packed with people, yet most of the high end stores are practically empty.

I've been going to the same stylist for many years.  I think she and I were the only people in the salon today who weren't covered with tattoos. All the young stylists had tattoos. Some of the ink was quite artistic, but a lot of the tattoos were messy and poorly thought out. One of my veterinarians has spent a lot of money trying to remove tattoos that she impulsively got when she was younger. I wonder if some of these people are going to feel the same way later in life. There's nothing wrong with tattoos, but I'm not comfortable wearing my feelings on my skin. My feelings about almost everything have changed radically over the years. Tattoos are far too permanent.

I feel better with a good haircut, but the trip to the mall certainly threw me off schedule. Dot wasn't eating well today. I spent more time than usual trying to make sure she got enough food. I don't know why her appetite and activity level changes from one day to the next, but it sure makes life complicated. I thought we'd finally found a healthy food that Dot really likes, but today she wanted to eat Dash's food when she finally became hungry. She didn't eat much. Absolutely nothing is predictable anymore.

I thought Dot was going to have a great day, because she slept well for the first time in ages. There were no middle of the night accidents last night and everybody got a good night's sleep. Oddly, even though she was well rested, Dot was very shaky on her feet this morning. She improved a bit as the day progressed, but today definitely wasn't as good as yesterday. I wish I knew why things ebb and flux like this, but I probably never will.

I hope Dot feels better tomorrow. I was really starting to feel good that her appetite and enthusiasm were returning. Today was a bit of a setback. We still ate and we still walked, but Dot was obviously feeling tired. Maybe a good night's sleep will help.

Patches is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2673

Dot threw up again last night and still seemed to be having trouble swallowing her pills this morning. Things are changing and I'm still trying to figure out how to adapt. Since putting her meds inside a small ball of canned dog food doesn't seems to work anymore, we're going to try cheese. Dot has always loved cheese. If cheese doesn't work, we can always try to boil a chicken breast and then cube the meat into small pieces we can use to hide a pill. One way or another, Dot still needs to take her meds.

I don't remember aging being quite as stressful with our other dogs. Maybe it was though. I tend to blot out things I don't want to remember. Spot lived to be fourteen. Like Dot, he lived through major spinal surgery and intestinal cancer. The surgery was successful, but cancer detection methods weren't as good back then and the cancer returned. Petey died suddenly of kidney failure and Greta never made it out of the hospital after a cancerous lobe of her liver was removed. Dot has lived longer than any dog we've ever had, but I doubt she'll make it to her next birthday. It's really sad to see this chapter of her life and mine coming to a close.

Occasionally, I'll look at old movies of Dot and Dash running and jumping over things. They were both very athletic and loved the dog park. Those years seem so long ago. Life has become so much smaller. Lately, we just try to make it through the day. Success is a day where Dot is able to hold down her food and enjoy a very short assisted walk to the end of our street. I've gotten so used to dealing with her incontinence that it just seems normal now. I can almost read Dot's mind by now. A glance tells me when she is in pain or when she needs to pee. We have become very close. I know she wants to continue. I just don't know how long she can.

Since there weren't any writing or website jobs today, I decided to get caught up on my bookkeeping. It's sobering to compare this year's billing to earlier years. Truthfully, there isn't much left of the business anymore. I just can't bring myself to formally close it. When friends of mine have found themselves in a similar situation, some of them have turned to teaching. I taught as an adjunct professor years ago, but couldn't imagine doing it anymore. I've become far too reclusive.

I wonder sometimes if Dash will be our last dog. Caring for two aging cancer survivors has been more tiring than I ever imagined. My Dad had a little Dachshund who was his constant companion until the day he died. Little dogs are easier to take care of though and tend to live longer. Dalmatians are extremely active dogs and deserve to be with an equally active person. I don't know if I have the energy for another Dalmatian, but I could never imagine having anything else.

I never made it up on the roof today. I never got my bone density scan either. Dot was restless. I was slow. It's amazing we made it through the day at all. I'm hoping that we both get a burst of renewed energy tomorrow.

Marley is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1975

I should be used to the rain by now, but it still amazes me how wet it's been this Spring. This has to be one for the record books. Today was another near all-day rain, punctuated with small, well-placed intervals where I was lucky to get the dogs out for shortened morning and evening walks. It's not raining now, but I think the weather is just taking a breather. There is even more rain in the forecast for tomorrow.

Previous rainy days this week have allowed me to get caught up on work, so there wasn't really a lot to do today. I finally got my May invoices in the mail, but that was about it.

I contemplated just watching movies on Netflix today, but couldn't find anything I really wanted to see. Instead, I decided to do some more work on my mobile friendly test site. I think I've learned all the easy stuff, because I had difficulty grasping some of the concepts I was trying to learn today. I ended up making a mess of the test site and had to upload an older archived version to get back to square one. I don't know why I'm spending so much time with this, since most of my clients don't seem very interested in mobile anyway.

I thought I try to get through the day without any pain pills for my teeth. Things must be getting better, because it wasn't all that bad. It's probably time to stop taking Ibuprofen anyway, since it isn't very good for the liver. I still had my breakfast banana milkshake, mostly because the dogs love bananas. I always share with them. Even though it took a while to rinse out the food particles, I had solid food for dinner. There was a tasty casserole in the refrigerator that would have been awful if I liquified it and turned it into soup. Everything in moderation, I guess. Once my mouth has healed completely, I'll still use the Vitamix, but I doubt that I've have soup more than once a week.

I wanted to find out if there were any more NASA launches that I could apply to attend and discovered instead that all the NASA websites are offline. There used to be a ton of NASA sites and they're all gone. Budget cuts I guess. As a web developer it would seem like it might actually be more expensive to take a large site down than to simply leave it up and not update it as frequently. What do I know though. The government works in mysterious ways.

Did you know that the Rolling Stone song Can't Get No Satisfaction was recorded fifty years ago yesterday? Jeez. These guys are still touring and selling out huge stadiums too. When I was learning to play to this song in high school, I never dreamed that we'd still be listening to a seventy year old Mick Jagger singing it fifty years later. Yep. The Stones are coming to Texas Stadium this Summer and the show is already sold out. In just a few more years, it will be fifty years since we landed on the moon. Amazing! What have we really accomplished since then? Sure, we all have smartphones now, but I can tell you from experience that life was a lot more interesting in 1969.

I'm not sure how interesting it is going to be tomorrow. My clever phone tells me that there will be thunderstorms tomorrow. Back in 1969, I never knew when it was going to rain until I got wet.

Haley is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day