Day 3397

We lost Dash today. He passed away around 11 AM this morning. We knew Dash was sick when we took him to the vet this morning, but we fully expected him to come home with us. We were even slightly optimistic because we had finally been able to get him to drink water and eat a little food yesterday evening. It wasn't meant to be. When the lab results came back this morning, it was clear that Dash was suffering from kidney failure. The vet told us that they could put him on IV fluids for several days and possibly clear some of the toxins from his system. The real danger was excessive levels of phosphorus in his blood. Even if the toxins could be removed, the problem would return because Dash's kidneys weren't operating properly. Even after IV therapy, Dash still might not eat and probably would be very uncomfortable.

Kidney failure explained a lot of things. Lethargy, diarrhea, loss of appetite, weight loss, urinary incontinence, bad breath, and ulcers in the mouth can all be early signs of kidney failure. Dash had all of these symptoms. Increasing Dash's pain medication wouldn't help at all, since the Rimadyl he's been taking is hard on the liver and kidneys to begin with. We had to make a very hard choice today. We could leave him in the ICU for four days, fill him with IV fluids, and if we were lucky, get to spend a few more days or weeks with him. Our vet, a gifted oncologist who helped Dash survive cancer, didn't think he could survive more than a month no matter what we did. Our other choice was to say goodby today.

We never wanted any of our dogs to suffer. In the best of worlds, they all would have died peacefully in their sleep. That never happened. I have so many vivid memories of dying dogs that it's hard to remember all the good times. There were definitely lots of good times. Dot and Dash were both amazingly good dogs. We were lucky to have both of them. Dash was very tired after his exam. I took him outside one last time in the rain to smell things and then we returned to the clinic to say our goodbyes. He lay quietly on a warm blanket in the exam room when we returned and I could tell he was exhausted. As he went to sleep with his head in my lap, the vet prepared to administer the Propofol that would relax and sedate Dash and then the Barbiturates used to stop his heart. Dash was very peaceful as he made his journey to the Rainbow Bridge. He yawned once as the Propofol began to sedate him and just like that, he was gone.

It was very strange to come home to a quiet and empty house. We've shared our home with a Dalmatian for over 32 years. Living with dogs has become a way of life. Living with a sick dogs becomes a way of life too. It's been almost five years since Dot first became sick. There have been a lot up ups and downs along the way, but I wouldn't change a thing even though some days have been extremely hard. I really think we did the best we possible could for all our dogs and they definitely returned the favor. I just wish that dogs lived longer. They capture your heart and then they're gone.

I don't think we will realize for months just how much life has changed. We are both getting older and have our own medical problems. Dash might be our last dog. It's way too early to make that decision now, but we do need to rest and recuperate. It's been a long four years. Rest in peace Dash. I hope you knew that you were dearly loved.

Dash is today's Dalmatian of the Day

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Day 2609

Dash is not much better than he was yesterday. The doctor sounded a little disappointed when he called us this morning. Dash is still unsteady on his feet and has some coordination problems when eating. They were worried that his blood pressure is still too high, even though he has been taking blood pressure medication for quite some time. The good news is that he has experienced no further seizures. During the weekend Dash will undergo further tests at the hospital to see if it is possible to pin down the cause of his seizures. Even though vestibular disease is still the primary suspect, the doctors are now investigating whether he might have had a stroke. Evidently the symptoms associated with idiopathic vestibular disease and a degeneration of the cerebellum in the brain can be remarkably similar. I did a little research myself and discovered the vestibular and cerebellar degeneration are often misdiagnosed in humans. Even an MRI is not conclusive.

It's kind of scary to realize that serious problems are not always easy to fix. High blood pressure can definitely cause problems in the brain. I know this from experience. Before I got my own blood pressure under control, I experienced several TIA ministrokes. Luckily, this temporary lack of blood flow to the brain doesn't cause permanent damage, but it was quite sobering to have a neurologist tell me what could have happened. It's too bad that dogs can't talk. A neurological exam mostly consists of the doctor asking you questions. Without the ability to accurately describe how you are feeling, diagnosis can be quite difficult.

One thing I learned today is that vestibular problems can often result from an earlier injury to the head or neck. Bingo. Many years ago, Dash was attacked and severely injured by an aggressive loose dog in the park. The large dog bit him in the neck and wouldn't turn loose. It took months for Dash to fully recover from this injury and he probably would have died if I hadn't been able to get him to a veterinarian for surgery very quickly. All the problems he's having now may be the long term result of this old injury.

Hopefully, Dash will show further improvement tomorrow. We can't visit him at the hospital on Sundays, but the doctor will call and give us a progress report. I wish she could tell Dot that everything is going to be OK. I am already noticing changes in Dot's behavior. You can tell that she misses having Dash around. She was extra needy today. I tried to vacuum the house, but every five minutes Dot would bark and demand some attention. I never ignore these barks, because I've learned that very often she's trying to tell me that she needs to pee. I did eventually get the house cleaned, but it took me all afternoon.

Sometimes I wonder why dogs are sick so often, but it is mostly because their lifespan is so compressed. I recently stumbled across one of those online calculators that converts dog years into human years. According to this website, Dot is now 120 years old. That can't possible be right, but Dot is a very old dog. If I'm lucky enough to live as long as she has in dog years, I"m sure I'll have a multitude of health problems. My Dad was healthy as a horse until his 75th birthday and then everything began falling apart quite rapidly. The guy who hardly ever had to go to the doctor eventually succumbed to prostate cancer, Parkinson's disease, macular degeneration and dementia. 

Tomorrow we'll have our Superbowl dinner for the second week in a row. This time I think we've got the date right. I may go to the annual Superbowl sale at my favorite menswear store. I don't wear dress clothes anymore, but these guys used to be a client and the special one day 75% off sale is a long standing tradition. I'll probably go to the gym as well. It's been a long, tough week. Maybe a good workout will get rid of some of the stress I've been feeling.

Duke is today's Dalmatian of the Day

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Day 2479

I listened to Elon Musk give a presentation on how he planned to colonize Mars this afternoon. The guy actually plans to do this. Part of the presentation was an animation showing how the journey to the red planet would take place. "This isn't just an artist conception," Elon said. "These are the actual rockets we are getting ready to build." The animation was evidently developed from CAD drawings created by the Space X engineering department. Each space ship was designed to carry 100 people and Elon envisioned that a fleet of 1000 of them would be required to establish a permanent, self sustaining settlement on Mars. I love epic plans. The guys who built the pyramids probably thought like this. I'm convinced that when you are constrained by practicality, you really limit yourself. During the question and answer session after the presentation, someone asked how the Mars colonists would be selected. "First of all, they would need to be very comfortable with the idea of dying." "This is going to be very dangerous," Elon said. I have no idea how you would pay for a grand venture like this, but I hope Elon succeeds.

I had no grand plans today, but there were certain things that needed to be done. Dash has been having episodes that look a bit like mini-seizures, so I wanted to get his phenobarbital levels checked. I remember this test being kind of tricky, so I went to the vet to see what I needed to do before I brought him in. I scheduled the test for tomorrow morning and Dash will need to fast for at least 12 hours before they draw his blood. That's going to be fun. Dash gets real irritable when he can't eat whenever he wants. Hopefully, I can take him on a long walk while Dot eats her breakfast and then go straight to the vet.

The powdered graphite I got yesterday worked like a charm and now the sticking locks around the house are smooth as silk. I haven't gotten up my nerve to fix the leaking shower stall yet. Usually when I try this, I end up wanting to take a shower before the silicon caulk is completely dry and the seal doesn't stick. I still don't know why somebody doesn't make a product that dries in an hour and can be applied to damp surfaces.

Dot had quite a few accidents today. I've learned to minimize the mess by always placing disposable puppy training pads under her while she is sleeping. All I need to do is carefully slide the pad out after she poops and replace it with a fresh pad. When I was cleaning things up today, I noticed another kind of mess. Dot had thrown up again. This is the second time this month. I think she may have acid reflux since she spends so much time lying down on her bed. Maybe I'm wrong though. I'll ask the vet tomorrow when I take Dash in for his test.

I saw a Red Shouldered Hawk when I was walking Dash this morning. There are lots of hawks and owls in the neighborhood, but they seldom stay still long enough to photograph. I got lucky today. Tomorrow, it's back to looking for the occasional wildflower that hasn't dried up yet. Tomorrow will be busy. I hope that Dash's test goes smoothly and we don't have to increase the amount of phenobarbital he takes. Life is complicated enough as it is.

Sophie is today's Dalmatian of the Day

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Day 2451

I wish we'd discovered something more definitive about Dash today. The vet agreed that he wasn't moving his rear legs normally, but couldn't pinpoint a cause. The problem could be caused by a compressed disc in his spine. It could be a very early sign that Dash has a disease like Degenerative Myelopathy. It could be nothing at all. The exam today eliminated some possibilities, but many other possibilities still remain. We took x-rays of his lower spine and hips earlier this month, but I'll need to get another radiograph of his upper spine to eliminate the possibility of a damaged or compressed disc. He definitely hasn't ruptured a disc like Dot did, or his condition would be much, much worse. The vet didn't recommend an MRI at this time, because she said if that Dash has a neurological problem, an MRI can sometimes make the condition worse. I'm not sure how much I actually learned today. Dash is still in pretty good shape for his age, but if there's something we can do to help him, I want to know about it.

Dash is not a good passenger in the car. He becomes agitated and barks incessantly. By the time we got to the vet, I felt like I was going deaf and Dash was wound up like a spring. The vet said that acupuncture might help Dash if I could figure out a way to get him to ride calmly in the car. The acupuncture session would be largely wasted if he arrived full of adrenaline and bouncing off the walls. It's sad that Dash doesn't ride well in the car anymore. He was terrified of car rides when we first adopted him. Gradually, after years of taking him to dog parks and training classes, he began to act normally. Before both dogs got cancer, they loved to ride in the car to go to their favorite dog park on Sunday morning. We don't travel much anymore for obvious reasons. It's just too difficult.

I really hope there's nothing seriously wrong with Dash. After over two years of dealing with serious medical problems, I'm exhausted. Life has changed dramatically for us after both dogs got cancer. When Dot's spinal injury compounded the problem, I pretty much became a 24x7 dog nurse. Dot is such a high maintenance dog at the moment that I really need for Dash to stay healthy for a while longer. The best case scenario is that Dash is just getting older. It is common for breeds like Dalmatians and German Shepards to develop problems with their rear legs as they age. Spot's legs began to give out toward the end of his life and so did Petey's. Dash probably has quite a few good years left, but I want to be careful. I've dealt with so many serious dog problems over the years that anything out of the ordinary makes me nervous now. One way or another, I'll figure out what is going on with Dash.

I had some minor website revisions to take care of today, but nothing to reverse the trend I've been experiencing lately. My workload seems to diminish with each passing month. I know what I need to do, but the effort seems pointless at times. You need to interact with people to get customers. I need to start having lunch with people again. I need to go to industry events. It wouldn't hurt to take a few classes either. The problem is that I don't want to do these things anymore. Enough is enough.

Tomorrow, it's Dot's day to go to the vet. She's been doing surprisingly well lately. She's sleeping better now and occasionally gets up on her own to walk around the house. It's not a dramatic rebound, but she seems to have more energy than she did last month. I don't really know why Dot has good days or Dash has bad days. I just try to keep them both as healthy and happy as I can.

Tessa is today's Dalmatian of the Day

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Day 2443

The weather seems more like October than August. The Fall rainy season usually coincides with the State Fair of Texas, but it seems like we got an early start this year. The temperatures have been unseasonably cool, and it has been very, very wet. I guess I should just relax and enjoy it. The water bill will be less this month and the grass is turning green again. The main problem with the rain is that it is difficult to find a good time to walk the dogs. We got wet today, but it could have been worse. At least it was a gentle rain.

I had a weird memory lapse recently. I've been wondering why I haven't gotten a bill to renew my homeowners insurance. It seems like I always renew my policy around this time of year.  I was kind of worried that the bill had gotten lost in the mail, so I called my insurance agent today. "When are you going to send my homeowners policy," I asked. "I haven't received a bill yet." "You paid your bill in June," the agent told me. Never mind. How could I have forgotten that?

I picked up a heat and serve meal at the new vegan store in the neighborhood. I wasn't really expecting much, but my dinner was delicious. The dish was called a Lime Cilantro Bowl and basically consisted of organic roasted corn and zucchini, Spanish rice, and black beans. The dish was very fresh, spicy enough for my taste, and quite filling. I didn't miss the absence of meat at all. I doubt that this meal will turn me into a vegetarian. If you remember, I had dinner at a steakhouse last night. What it proved was that a vegetarian dinner can actually taste good. Weaning myself away from meat will be a gradual process, but this is a start. The menu at this place rotates frequently, so every time I see a tasty looking curry or Thai dish, I'll give it a try.

Something is wrong with Dash. He stumbles a little too frequently for it to be purely accidental. He doesn't seem to have as much energy as he used to and I find him licking the area around his joints a lot. I worry that his cancer might have returned or that he has developed some neurological problem. The x-rays we took a few weeks ago were inconclusive, but I'm still convinced that there is something wrong. It would be so much easier if dogs could talk.

Dash wasn't the only one who had less energy today. Dot seemed tired too. Spending the day with two exhausted dogs makes me tired. I felt like taking a nap all day long. Maybe it's just the weather. It was so humid this morning that it felt like you could squeeze the air and wring water out of it like a sponge. I emptied the dehumidifier bucket twice today, but it still feels muggy. Lets hope that things improve tomorrow so Dot's trip to the vet goes smoothly.

Lance is today's Dalmatian of the Day

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