Day 4830

Yesterday was such a nice day and today was exactly the opposite. It turns out that it was the drugs that were keeping Dawn happy. After 24 hours without pain meds she woke up stiff and painful again. There were no falls, but there was one stumble where she almost fell. We've had to go back to having her wear a harness with a handle all the time so we can help her on and off the bed and make sure she doesn't fall when going out to pee. After giving her another Rimadyl she is much calmer this evening. We'll have to check with the vet and see how long it is safe to continue this medication.

Today was a dismal rainy day, but I did manage to get a few things done. I finished gathering and preparing my 2022 tax information to take to the accountant. During a break in the rain I took a fat folder with my tax materials and another with Janet's information to the accountant and then dropped off the old printer at an animal rescue donation site. When I returned home it looked like there was still enough time to take my long walk before the next round of storms arrived.

I completed my entire route today but I was pretty slow. My feet weren't having a good day. We didn't give Dawn a morning walk today and probably won't tomorrow either. Since she seems to feel good when taking pain medication it's hard to know what to do. We don't want to aggravate the situation, but it isn't good to be completely inactive either. Dawn is much happier when she can follow her regular routine. She and I are pretty similar in that regard.

The dreaded severe storms we've been hearing about for several days finally arrived late this afternoon. Usually bad storms go either to the north or south of us, but today they appeared to be headed directly in our direction. It all looked pretty serious for a while. We started getting warnings on our phones and then the tornado sirens started going off in the neighborhood. The local weather said the entire area was under a tornado warning and sure enough when I looked at the weather radar our house was inside the tornado warned zone. This hasn't happened for a long time. We gathered up Dawn, her dog bed, several blankets and our phones and headed for our safe spot. Truthfully, we don't have a safe spot in our house since it is an open plan design with no interior rooms. There is a ton of single pane glass that would break easily in a bad storm. We ended up huddling next to the refrigerator in a little alcove in the kitchen that was as far from windows as we could find. This still wasn't a great location because we were near the utility room with a gas furnace and water heater.

Dawn was good in her inaugural safety drill. She was nervous for a few minutes and then settled down and was pretty relaxed. I think she felt comfortable that both of us were right there next to her. Dawn didn't want us on the dog bed with her though, so she ended up having more room than Janet and I. The storm blew over pretty quick and everything is quiet again. A cold front has arrived though and it is almost thirty degrees colder than it was a few hours ago. When I took the trash out to the curb about an hour ago it felt like a completely different day than it did this morning.

There are no roof leaks yet, but I expect we'll start to see some soon. The pumps are running now and it's clear that there's a lot of water on the roof. I wish I knew where to place the buckets before I go to bed tonight, but the leaks never seem to appear in the same place. I actually hope the dripping noises wake me up tonight or there might be a big mess in the morning. The good news is that there is no more rain in the forecast for a while. The bad news is that Dawn isn't out of the woods yet. Whatever's wrong is still bothering her.

Ruthie is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 3331

We had a bit of a setback today. Dash woke up with no energy at all. He stumbled around, took his morning pills, and went back to sleep without touching his breakfast. He's done this before, but we had such a good day yesterday that we thought we'd turned over a new leaf. After sleeping a few hours, we tried to interest him in a walk, but he wasn't going anywhere. It was clear that today was going to be a day of rest.

Dash has good days and bad days, so it's best to let him determine the schedule. He got plenty of rest today, occasionally getting up to pee. I had to keep an eye on him because wanting to get up and being able to get up are two different things these days. Luckily, Dash is learning to accept help. He still likes to sleep on the bed, but I need to help him navigate his steps now. He falls too easily.

Eventually Dash realized he was hungry and finished his breakfast. I was encouraged that when he noticed Janet had gone, he was able to walk around the house on his own looking for her. He became stronger and more confident toward the end of the day and we were able to take him on a very short walk just before sunset. Even though we only walked to the end of our street and back, Dash seemed happy to get outside and smell things.

I have a feeling that shorter walks and longer naps are going to become the new normal. This is not a problem that can be fixed. Dash is very old and is dealing with an enlarged heart, neurological problems, and vestibular disease. I'm amazed that he still does as well as he's been doing.

Since Dash has become less mobile, I'm not getting enough exercise myself. When Janet returned to watch Dash, I grabbed a camera and took a photo walk around the shoreline. It was a dismal, gray day but there were still plenty of birds. I saw several Great Egrets, some Double-crested Cormorants, a few Coots, and a gull catching a fish.

There may be no real solution to my allergy problems. Second-generation antihistamines like Allegra are much better than first-generation antihistamines like Chlor-Trimeton and Benadryl. They aren't perfect though. When I was taking photos this afternoon I noticed that my eyes seemed unusually sensitive to light and I felt slightly dizzy. My nose wasn't running though. I wish I wasn't sensitive to antihistamines, but it's always been a problem.

There is rain in the forecast again. Damn. I wonder if I'm ever going to be able to quit fretting about rain? The roof hasn't leaked since the guys came out and made their repairs, but I still keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I don't trust this roof anymore. Rain also makes it difficult to get Dash outdoors. He has trouble enough on dry ground. Wet weather just makes things even more slippery. Unfortunately, the rainy season is far from over. I'm tired of this. I used to think that Seasonal Affective Disorder was a myth, but I sure seem to have most of the common symptoms.

Hey, maybe I'll see the sun tomorrow. Maybe Dash will get up on his own and we'll be able to take a longer walk. Anything is possible. I've just got to take things one day at a time.

Landry is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2705

Dot didn't bounce back today. I tried everything I could think of, but she just wasn't interested in eating. Two day ago she was eating more than enough to sustain her. Now, we are right back to where we were a month ago. It all happened rather suddenly. Jeez. It doesn't seem like a month has passed since we initially became convinced that her body was shutting down. I was so proud of Dot's remarkable comeback. She was determined to beat the odds.

I'm worried again. If Dot can't eat, she doesn't have long. She was even having trouble drinking water today. For the first time, we used a syringe to make sure she was getting enough water and wasn't becoming dehydrated. We took her outside and used a large syringe to slowly squirt water down her throat. I was surprised at how well this worked. We had to give her the water slowly so she wouldn't choke on it, but she did swallow normally and seemed to appreciated the water.

Later in the day it occurred to me that we could use the same technique to make sure she got some food too. We still had a can of the Dogsure liquid supplement we bought the first time she stopped eating. She drank about a third of the can using the syringe and at least for a few moments, seemed to regain her interest in food. We were able to get her to eat a little bit of fresh salmon Janet went out and got for her this morning. Nothing else worked today. Dot wasn't eating ham, cheese, turkey, or the Ultramix stew.

Surprisingly, Dot still wanted her walks. The weather was cool after some severe storms last night and Dot was eager to go to the park. I didn't think she'd have the energy, since she wasn't eating, but she did surprisingly well. These short walks are very important to her.

Last night's thunderstorm woke everyone up except for Dot. She slept through the whole thing. Dash, on the other hand, was terrified. I finally got him to come under the covers with me and he calmed down a bit since he couldn't see the lightning anymore. He could still hear the thunder though. This was some of the loudest thunder I've ever heard. It sounded like mortar rounds landing next to the house. Dash curled up next to me and shivered and shook for the rest of the night.

We try not to leave Dot alone anymore. I went to the gym right after breakfast while Janet was doing some things around the house. When I returned, she left to do her errands. I was surprised to look up while I was on the hand bike today and realize I was the only person in the entire gym. I don't think this has ever happened before. It's a very large gym and there's always somebody there. Janet told me later that it was graduation weekend and that the old people who frequent this gym were probably watching their children or grandchildren graduate. Sounds plausible.

I hope Dot's appetite returns tomorrow. She's got to eat something. It would break my heart to have to put a dog down that wasn't ready to go. I'm not giving up on Dot yet. She came back from the brink once before and maybe she will again. When I walked Dot this evening I could see her determination. We'll give it everything we've got tomorrow.

Casey is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2337

I hate feeling helpless. Dot continues to grow weaker and there is very little I can do at this point. I've tried everything I possibly can to keep her happy, motivated, and free from pain, but it's a losing battle. Cancer and a damaged spinal cord have taken their toll. The vets have no answers anymore when I ask what to do next to keep her strong. Maybe this is just a bad week, but I'm afraid that another disc might have ruptured. It's been noticeably harder for her to walk without assistance this week. She doesn't even try to get up very often. We were warned that this would happen eventually, but it's hard to accept that our indestructible girl might not bounce back anymore.

I'm always looking for answers, but we may never know exactly what has caused this latest setback. Dot is too weak for anesthesia, so we can't give her another MRI. An MRI is the only way to determine for certain whether another disc has ruptured or slipped. Something pressing on her spinal cord would certainly explain the current weakness in her legs, but it could be something else entirely. The cancer may have progressed to the point where is is causing her pain. There are several pain medications available, but they all have serious side effects. Dot's vet has encouraged us to try extended rest before resorting to something that will cause her liver to fail even faster.

Dash becomes depressed when Dot is sick. He has always been a nervous, frightened dog and has depended on Dot for stability. Without his constant companion at his side, Dash doesn't know what to do. Since Dot is sleeping, he just sleeps too. It's all kind of sad. I sit in a quiet house where the phone doesn't ring and my dogs and my career are slowly fading away. For the past two years, my life has been focused around keeping Dot healthy. For the most part, this journey has been a remarkable success, but it's getting harder now. Nobody lives forever.

I need to stay positive, because the next few months aren't going to be easy. Dot's urinary incontinence has returned, so now she pees and poops in her bed. Dot's body may be failing, but her spirits are still good. She barks when she sees a cat, eats her meals with gusto, and still looks forward to a morning walk, even though her legs won't take her very far. As long as she remains happy, I'll make any adjustments that are necessary. I don't know what I'm going to do when she loses the will to keep going.

Today was very slow. I made my morning smoothie, cleaned up poop, tinkered with the dehumidifier, and tried to make my self useful. I spend a good chunk of the afternoon trying to get a couple pieces of movie making gear to play nice together. I used to be able to solve these kind of problems by calling a few friends. Now, I spend hours making endless Google searches and sending e-mail to manufacturers. I think I solved the problem I was having, but I'll never know for sure until I actually use the equipment to make a movie.

I hope that giving Dot lots of rest today helps. If she wakes up a little stronger, we'll rest some more. I'm wondering whether we should skip physical therapy this week as well. I'll call Dot's vet and see what she thinks. All I know is that we're running on empty now and there isn't a gas station in sight.

Spot is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2332

Dot had another setback today. When we were returning from our physical therapy session, she started yelping like she was in pain. I pulled over to the side of the road and checked to see if she had twisted her leg somehow. Everything looked fine, but her abdomen seemed very tender and she didn't want me to touch it. I waited until she calmed down and then continued home. When we got home she seemed weak and just wanted to rest on her dog bed. She still didn't want me to touch her abdomen. I called Dot's vet and described the symptoms to her. She ruled out bloat or gastric torsion, which I was kind of worried about and suggested that Dot might be feeling referred or reflected pain from her liver tumor. Referred pain is where the pain is perceived at a location other than the site of the painful stimulus, which in this case would have been her liver. Who knows if this is what is actually going on. If her discomfort continues, I'll take her back to the cancer center and have them do another ultrasound scan. Since Dot has cancer, along with several serious neurological problems, there are any number of things that could be making her uncomfortable.

It's hard to deal with the unpredictable nature of a serious illness. I try my best to do what's right for Dot, but sometimes doing all the right things still doesn't produce the desired outcome. I saw this with my Dad toward the end of his life. He had the best care available, but after a certain point he just didn't get any better. One thing is pretty certain.  It doesn't matter if you are a human or a dog. Getting old sucks.

There's a leak in one of the bathroom sinks. The leak isn't bad now, but it appears to be getting worse. I tried to fix things myself this morning, but I couldn't even tell where the water was coming from. It looks like I'll have to add a plumber to the growing list of repair people I need to call. I've already called the roofer and the HVAC guy. Now I need to call the plumber and a tree trimmer as well. I try to schedule these service calls for a month were there aren't any really large vet bills, but that isn't easy to do. I think there will always be large vet bills. There might be a big one tomorrow if Dot doesn't get better.

I'm still perplexed by Dot's mysterious pain. She did really well in the underwater treadmill today and appeared completely normal when we left the vet clinic. She was resting calmly in the car when it happened. There were no sudden stops or sharp turns. The whole thing was kind of sudden. I hope she feels better tomorrow. Dot is resting calmly now. I can't say that I'm all that calm though. Two solid years of medical problems are wearing me out. I just hope that Dash stays healthy as he grows older. We've got to take these things one at a time.

Crosby is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2223

Dot had a bit of a setback today. She was perfectly normal on her morning walk, but later in the day we noticed that something was wrong with her left front leg. She was having a lot of trouble standing and walking. Keep in mind that her left rear leg is already very weak. Having both left legs lame made it very difficult for her to keep her balance. I figured out a way to rig her harness so I could support her both in the front and in the back, but I still don't know what is wrong. It could be anything. Her neurological problems could be spreading. She could have injured the front leg somehow. It's even possible that she was having a mild vestibular stroke. What I'm hoping is that she just slept on the leg wrong and it felt numb when she woke up. This happens to me occasionally. If you fall asleep on top of your arm, it often feels numb or prickly for a while when you first wake up. Dot is resting now. Hopefully her condition improves after she's had some rest.

It was a cold, grey day. It still might snow this evening, but I kind of doubt it. I think the worst of the weather is North of us. French Toast and sausages always seems like a good idea on a nasty day, but our delicious breakfast did little to improve the weather. I updated a website while waiting for the weather to improve a bit, but eventually I gave up and went grocery shopping in the rain. While I was out today I picked up one of those digital TV antennas that let you watch over the air broadcast stations without a cable subscription. I haven't installed the antenna yet, but it would be weird if it worked. When I was growing up, we had a TV antenna that let us watch a total of thirteen channels. That's exactly what the digital antenna promises. It's kind of a back to the future kind of thing. If the antenna works, I'd be real temped to drop the U-Verse TV. It's expensive and goes out all the time. Local over the air stations and Netflix is probably all you need anyway.

I was going to cut the tree limb that fell yesterday into manageable pieces that I could take to the curb for big trash day, but it was too cold. I'll take care of this task on a warmer day. I had my hands full taking care of Dot anyway. Why do bad things with the dogs always happen on weekends and holidays? I'm not sure a vet could tell me all that much anyway. This kind of lameness has happened before. It just seems to take longer to recover each time it happens.

I was thinking of going to bed early tonight, but it's already late. Hopefully, we'll all sleep soundly tonight. I need some catch-up sleep. I need a lot of things. I need to go to the gym tomorrow. I need to clean the house too. It's been two weeks since I vacuumed all Dot's rugs and they're getting filthy. At least it's a three day weekend. At my current speed it will probably take two days to get my Sunday chores done. What happens tomorrow will depend largely on how Dot feels in the morning. I hope she's walking again.

Shelby is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1889

If I were starting a blog today I would probably title it What New Kind of Hell Is This instead of Some Assembly Required. The current title is entirely too positive for my present frame of mind. I don't have a lot held in reserve anymore. Small setbacks are starting to bother me much more than they should. Case in point. Our power went out again last night. Actually, we lost power twice. Yes, it rained, but it was only a light rain. So far this year, the power has gone out almost every single time it has rained. You would think the power company could do better than this. Clearly, something in the system needs to be upgraded. We have had notoriously unreliable electric power ever since we moved to this neighborhood, but I think the outages this year are worse than ever.

I was dreading spending the day in a cold house with a sick dog that can barely more. Luckily, the power was restored this morning, the furnace kicked in, and pretty soon we were back to normal. Taking Dot out to pee in the rain was problematic. The ground was wet and slick and I had to be extra careful not to fall myself. On cold days I have to position things around the house so that I'm ready to go when Dot lets me know it's time to pee. Once I'm holding her hips up with the harness, it's hard to turn her around to look for a coat or a missing pair of shoes. I'm trying to remember to leave a pair of easy to slip on shoes sitting by the back door, but half the time they're still in another room when I need them most.

Dot and I are learning to establish the new routines and rituals that will get us through the day. She sleeps a lot anyway, and I've learned that if I'm patient and hold her up while she wanders around aimlessly for a while, she will quickly find a comfortable place to sleep and I can get some work done. It works better if I try to adapt my life to her schedule, rather than the other way around. Since she can't move on her own, I need to make the short amount of time when she still feels like trying to walk as relaxed and comfortable as possible. I've learned how to massage her legs and at least three times a day I manually work her leg muscles in a gentle bicycle motion to help prevent atrophy. When Dot is resting and lying down she actually seems to like this.

The Withings Baby Monitor only covers one room, but I've discovered that I can use the camera in my laptop as a petcam to watch her if she wants to sleep in a different room. I just move the laptop to wherever she happens to be. Despite the unfortunate power outage and my duties as a watchful 24-7 pet nurse, I was able to get quite a bit done today. My big objective was getting a major website update completed. There is a new team responsible for this website now and we are still figuring out the best way to work together. Since I managed to get the updates online, I guess we are doing something right.

I hope the weather warms up and dries out quickly. Rain certainly complicates things. I definitely don't want to get Dot's special harness wet, because she is helpless without it. I am already resigned to the fact that I'll probably have to replace a lot of the landscaping later in the Spring. As I tramp around in my work boots, holding Dot up as she looks for the perfect place to pee, I am destroying the bedding plants and ground cover. This happened once before when I was helping Petey walk during his final year with us. When Spring arrived that year, most of the Asian Jasmine was completely dead. It's easy to re-landscape though. It's going to be a lot harder to get Dot walking again.

Joshua is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day