Day 2724

I got up early this morning to take Janet down to Baylor for some tests. Every time I step inside a hospital, I realize why our health care system is so hard to change. Hospitals are the size of city blocks now. They employ thousands of people. Health care is the biggest industry we have these days. It's no surprise that almost all the young people moving into our neighborhood recently are doctors, dentists, and anesthesiologists. That's where the future is. I'm sure most of these people have a vested interest in keeping things the way they are. Truthfully, I can't blame them. Health care has a lot more job security than advertising.

While I was waiting for the call to come pick up Janet again, I fed Dash his breakfast and fixed myself some pancakes and sausages. I thought about going out to eat, but it was starting to rain and most of the restaurants I go to weren't even open yet. I'm starting to think that my own breakfasts are tastier than the ones I used to rave about at my favorite restaurants too.

Dash hates the rain and I couldn't even get him to go outside to pee. We waited and waited and eventually I saw a break in the rain on the radar and convinced Dash to go outside. I don't know how that dog can hold his bladder so long. Once the rain stopped and I got Dash to take his morning walk, I realized that this was a perfect day to take a camera down to the lake. I certainly didn't have anything better to do today.

I always take better pictures when I don't have a dog with me. Dot and Dash always used to scare all the animals away. I saw some Wood Ducks and Great Egrets today. I also saw a Red Tailed Hawk swoop down and grab a mouse with its claws, but I wasn't quick enough to capture a picture. It's relaxing to take pictures of wildlife. I should do this more often.

While I was checking on the rat traps last night, I noticed that there was also a large toad in the atrium. How are all these animals getting inside? Basically the atrium is a screened in porch enclosed on three sides by the house. There shouldn't be any critters getting inside. The rat has discovered how to remove the cheese from the two Havahart traps without setting them off. He stays away from the kill trap. I don't think I'm ever going to catch this rat.

It seemed more like Saturday than Friday. Janet couldn't go back to work until the anesthesia wore off, so she watched movies with Dash for most of the afternoon. I haven't had any work to do for several days. Maybe this is what retirement is going to be like. I'm still not comfortable with the whole idea of retirement. Where is the money going to come from to pay for all the gear I crave?

I hope the rain stops tomorrow. I've got a lot of errands to do and I'd prefer to be dry.

Liberty is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2723

I got a jury summons today. I've been hoping that they'd forget about me for one more year so I could finally be exempt from this chore forever. No such luck. I've sat in the jury pool many times, but have never been selected for a jury. I don't think I fit the profile that lawyers are typically looking for. I doubt that I'll be picked this time either, so it all seems like a giant waste of time. Maybe I'm not suited for jury duty because whenever I go to the courthouse, everyone seems guilty. People in the elevator seem guilty. Other jurors seem guilty. The lawyers always seem guilty of something. I've always been convinced that the defendant was guilty before anybody even opened their mouth. Instead of "innocent until proven guilty," I seem to think that people are guilty until proven innocent.

It's hard to avoid a jury summons. You can postpone things, but they'll keep bugging you again and again until you finally give up and go to the courthouse. The only good thing is that this is probably the last time I'll have to do this. They seldom call anyone more than once a year.

I don't think the pressure washer and I are going to be friends. It became apparent that Janet bought the pressure washer because she wants me to clean the exterior of the entire house. I got started today, because the sooner I start on this project, the sooner I'll finish. This is a messy job. Most of the wasp and mud dauber nests, spider webs, and dirt are located above my head. When I use the pressure wand to dislodge things, the debris falls on me. I definitely should have waited until after I used the pressure washer to take a shower today.

I cleaned the front porch and carport this afternoon. That was enough. I'll have to admit that the entrance does look a lot nicer. It will take a lot of time to clean the entire house, but I've got nothing but time these days. I'm hoping that I'll get some new website or writing projects soon. Legitimate paying jobs are always a good excuse to avoid doing things around the house.

I've got three different traps in the atrium now and the rat is ignoring all of them. I'm really kicking myself for not removing the rat immediately as soon as I noticed I had it trapped. Sure, it was raining at the time, but getting wet would have been a small price to pay for getting rid of the rat before it got wise to traps. I'm not sure what to do now. The rat is still there, but it appears to be smarter now. It could easily jump in the house if I open the sliding glass door. All I can say is that rats are almost as irritating as jury duty.

2017 appears to be a year of transition. I started the year with two dogs and will end it with one. I started the year believing I still had a viable business and will probably end it by finally acknowledging that I have retired. The world is always changing, but I'm not comfortable with these changes yet. I guess that is the challenge. Like it or not, I've got to keep moving forward.

Lacey is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2722

I'm thinking about going to see the solar eclipse this August. There's really no reason not to anymore. It's probably a little late to be planning something like this, since motels and even campsites in the path of totality have probably been booked for months now. We'll see. At least this is worth thinking about. The last time I experienced a total eclipse of the sun was in 1963 when I was going to high school in Alaska. My Dad and a few of his friends took me with them to view the eclipse. All went well until a few minutes before totality when a large cloud covered the sun. I guess technically I still haven't seen a total eclipse.

Although seeing the eclipse is the big thing on my Summer to-do list, there are other things I need to do as well. I've been avoiding making a doctor's appointment for months because I didn't want to worry about Dot while I was enduring the inevitable long wait in the doctor's lobby. I don't have an excuse now.  I also need to renew my passport soon. I certainly haven't used it much during the past ten years, but there was a time when my passport was filled with visa stamps. Who knows? Maybe I'll travel again.

The pressure washer works fine. It's a bit messy to use and there is no convenient place to store the hoses and cords, but other than that, it does exactly what it is supposed to do. I cleaned the bricks on the front porch and the wheels on my car and then put the thing away. Removing the spiderwebs from the windows and eaves will have to wait until later. I'm sure the windows will leak when they are sprayed, so this will be a two person job. One person will have to use the pressure washer and the other will have to quickly mop up any water that gets inside.

I wish I could convince Dash to take long walks again. He used to love taking long walks. We're only walking half as far as we should this week. I don't think anything is wrong with Dash. He just doesn't seem to be in the mood. This is the perfect time of year for long morning walks. A month or so from now it will be too hot. We'll see. Maybe he'll snap out of this moodiness soon. Dash did share a banana with me this morning. That's a start, I guess.

I got an e-mail from Apple with information about the new products they introduced at the developer's conference. I think I'd like the get the new iMac Pro. There's no earthly reason I need a super fast computer anymore, but this thing sure looks cool. I've had my current desktop computer since 2010. That's much longer than I used to keep them. It was easy to justify new computers when I was doing large scale video editing projects every week, but those days are gone. If I get an iMac Pro, it will just be an indulgence.

I put out some new traps for the rat, but so far he has avoided all of them. Maybe I should just make my peace with the rodent and let him stay in the atrium. He's a smart little devil. Maybe he'd like to be my financial adviser. I wish rats weren't so destructive. They've already chewed up everything in the greenhouse. I don't want rats to ruin the atrium too. I have a feeling that this battle will continue for a while.

Domino is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2721

I'm sleeping longer now. I guess that's a good thing. I wish the extra sleep left me filled with energy and motivation, but that's not the case. I'm still kind of floundering around and searching for a direction. Fortunately, I'm so slow these days that it's not hard to fill up the day even with no plan whatsoever.

I've determined that the rat is still in the atrium. I haven't seen him since he escaped from the trap, but I know he's there. I placed several pieces of cheese outside the trap last night and they were gone in the morning. The rat avoided the larger piece of cheese inside the trap though. I think I'm dealing with a smart rat. I purchased some old fashioned rat traps that will kill the rat, but I am reluctant to use them. I'll give him one more chance. I added a big scoop of peanut butter to the bait in hopes of enticing him inside. I wish this rat knew that I had his best interests in mind. If he would just go inside the trap again, I'll take him down to the park in the morning.

Recently, I remember someone posting "Do you remember when Bluehost didn't suck" on Facebook. I laughed because I did remember. Bluehost used to be a great web hosting company. I recommended them to many of my clients. Unfortunately, things have changed. I don't know what happened. Maybe someone else bought the company. At any rate, calling technical support is a nightmare these days. You have to wait on hold forever and when someone finally picks up the phone, they don't know anything and always have to talk to their supervisor. I had a problem today and it drove me crazy trying to get a simple answer from the tech support people. I wanted to hang up on them several times but I knew that I'd be sitting on hold for another twenty minutes if I tried to start over. After spending an hour on the phone, I still didn't receive an answer to my question.

I wish I could get Dash to take long walks again. I think it would be good for both of us. He wants to stick close to home though. I've been having trouble getting him to walk all week. I noticed he was panting a bit this morning and it was still cool outside. This worried me a bit. We've known for a long time that Dash has an enlarged heart and a bit of a heart murmur. He's got to go to the vet to check his triglycerides again soon and I'll have the vet look at his heart. It's always hard to tell if Dash has a medical problem or is just being moody.

I'll try to cut Dash some slack because I'm feeling a bit moody myself. Hopefully, this will pass. I certainly didn't accomplish much today. I paid a few bills and took them to the post office. I picked up a bottle of rubbing alcohol at CVS and bought a couple of pair of anklet socks. I used to hate the idea of anklet socks, but they do make sense in the summer.

The sun has finally returned and the yard is drying out. Maybe I'll figure out how to use the new pressure washer tomorrow. There is certainly a lot that needs to be cleaned. I hope there is a rat in my trap in the morning. I'm not looking forward to resorting to Plan B.

Wendy is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2720

The rat has vanished. When I went to set the rodent free this morning, it wasn't in the trap. How could this be? The trap was still closed and locked. There were no signs that the rat had tried to chew its way through the heavy wire mesh. The trap looked exactly like it did last night, except there was no rat inside and all the cheese was gone. I was dumbfounded. I still have no idea how the rat escaped, but if it was smart enough to get out of a closed and sealed Havahart trap, it will probably never go near one again. This is very irritating. Now, how am I going to catch this rat?

This morning was way too quiet. This was the first time since Dot passed away that Dash and I were alone in the house, resuming our solitary weekday routine. The house seemed empty and so did I. For the past two years, everything I've done has been centered around Dot. I kept thinking "what do I do now." There was no bucket list and few pent up desires. I tried to take Dash on an extra long walk, but he seemed lost as well. Dot's oncologist had warned me that something like this might happen. "When you invest as much of your time as you have," she told me, "you aren't going to get over this quickly."

Life will never return to normal, because it was never really normal in the first place. I'll adapt though and find new priorities. I always do. I don't think there's any rush. A little floundering around never hurt anybody. I can certainly stay busy cleaning the house for a while. There is a lot of work that needs to be done. I'd like to make sure that Dash feels comfortable. He's a nervous dog who always depended on Dot. It's going to take him a while to regain his confidence. Probably the best thing I could do for Dash is to regain my own confidence as well.

I had one of my periodic meeting with my financial adviser today. For the first time in a long time I wasn't mad at him. We seem to be on the same page again, but I'll be the first to admit that this is always easier to do in a rising market. I've already lived through too many market crashes and feel that I might not have time to recover from another one. We mostly talked about how to preserve what I've got in the event that Armageddon is on the horizon. I don't have a lot of faith in the future, but I still want to beat the odds.

I wish this rain would stop. We've been having thunderstorms almost every day. Dash hates the thunder and lightning and I hate all the mud in the yard. Ordinarily, the landscapers would have replaced all the backyard grass by now, but there are a lot of bills this month, so I'm not in a big hurry to incur any more expenses. I paid my annual homeowners insurance, so that's out of the way, but ever time I start up the car, I see that irritating "Service Required" warning on the dash. How much is that going to cost?

It's a shame that my main writing client has gone dormant. Writing is always a good way to stay busy. Now, the most important thing on my calendar is catching a large rat.

Scooby is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2719

I stayed busy today. There were several more trips to the storage warehouse. I don't know why I saved all the rugs, but they will be useful to someone. Janet packed up a box of stuff to donate to a local rescue group. Dot's wheelchair joined another wheelchair that was custom made for Spot. Unfortunately Spot's chair was not adjustable so it probably will never fit another dog. We've tried to let friends use it, but the fit has to be exact or these things just don't work. Dash will inherit Dot's adjustable chair at some point. I'm in no hurry to bring it home again. We hope that Dash remains healthy for a long time.

Yesterday, I discovered that we've got a large rat living in our atrium. The rat startled me and almost jumped into the house when I opened the sliding glass door. This is the first rat I've seen around the house in a long time. We used to have a huge rat problem until our neighbors got several large outdoor cats. These cats, along with the existing feral cats in the neighborhood, did a good job of controlling the rats. Unfortunately, coyotes started eating the cats and the rats eventually returned. This isn't a good place to be an outdoor cat. The rabbits haven't fared so well either.

I hate to use poison to kill the rats, so I've always trapped them with a Havahart trap. Yesterday, I baited one of these traps with cheese and set it in the atrium. This morning, the cheese was gone, but the trap was still open. I was either dealing with a very smart rat, or my old trap had gotten rusty. I know these traps work, so I went to the hardware store on the way home from the storage warehouse and bought another one. This new trap worked like gangbusters. I baited it with cheese again and an hour later a large black rat was sitting inside. I usually take these rats down to the park and turn them loose, but this one will have to sit in the cage overnight. It's dark already and it's raining outside. Oh, well. The rat has plenty of cheese to eat.

After I finished my chores this afternoon, I went to the gym. I need to start going several times a week. I haven't been working out regularly since Dot started requiring additional attention and it shows. I did my usual routine today and I was exhausted. Getting in shape shouldn't be this hard. Cleaning the house shouldn't be this hard either, but what are you going to do. I don't burn calories sleeping and the house doesn't clean itself.

Janet bought a pressure washer recently to clean away all the spider webs on the porch. I sure wish things like came assembled and ready to use. When I tried to put the pressure washer together this afternoon, I could have sworn it was made by Ikea. Simple instructions like "press with your thumb until you hear a click" just didn't work. I wasn't going to press too hard, because there is nothing worse than getting your thumb out of joint. After failing to install the wheels using a hammer and a crescent wrench, I finally discovered that the tool I use to open the water meter in the front yard worked perfectly. The pressure washer is now ready to go. Spiders beware.

After taking all the rugs to the storage warehouse, I went back and brought one of them back home again. Dash liked to sit on one of these rugs in the kitchen while we ate dinner and he seemed irritated when it wasn't there today. When a Dalmatian gets irritated, they start barking, so I went and got the rug. I hope he didn't become too attached to the other things I put away. It had to be done. Our house was a mess.

It's weird not having a time limit when I leave the house. For over a year, I've been very careful to never leave the house for any length of time when Janet wasn't there. I learned quickly that it didn't take long for Dot to get in trouble. Dash is fine on his own, but I still think he's lonely.

Daisy is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2718

Today almost seemed normal. In addition to my usual Saturday chores, I returned to Euless to pick up Dot's ashes. Since I don't typically drive much further than the post office anymore, these two back-to-back trips to the crematorium have reintroduced me to a city that has totally changed. There are parts of town that I don't even recognize anymore. I think I liked the city I moved to in the mid 1970's better than the sprawling metropolis I see now.

With Dot safely back on the coffee table with Spot, Petey, Greta, and Mindy, I began the daunting task of transforming a dog hospice back into the home I remembered two or three years ago. Over a dozen large rugs were cleaned and placed in the car for a trip to the storage warehouse. I disassembled the six sided x-pen that has dominated the living room for the past two years. I must have lost a critical part, because I couldn't figure out how to fold the thing up the way it originally arrived in the box. It doesn't really matter because the box disappeared a long time ago. At least I was able to fold the pen enough so that it would fit in the car. I never realized how heavy these rugs are. I'm pretty sure that I put over 100 pounds of rugs in the car.

I hope that Dash stays healthy for a long time because I don't look forward to bringing these bulky rugs back home again. I'm not going to throw them away though. Dash is twelve. In a few years. he will probably need some help to keep from slipping on the brick floors.

The house looks different now. It seems bigger. I can't say that I'm going to miss all the clutter, but the rugs and dog paraphernalia did make the house feel cozy. There is still a lot of cleaning that needs to be done, but at least I've got things started. I have a feeling that we've going to need new carpet, but I'll worry about that later. It seems weird not to administer pills every eight hours or continually mop pee off the floor. There are so many odd little things that became part of my daily routine. I'm going to have to relearn how to live a normal life.

Dash seems a bit lonely to me. Truthfully, he's probably completely normal and I'm the one who's lonely. I'm going to miss Dot for a long time. I believe that it's important not to wallow in sorrow or be consumed by grief. I need to stay busy and I will. There are certainly a lot of things that I've overlooked for the past three years.

Janet and I are both dealing with health issues but are determined to resolve them. Maybe we will travel more when everything settles down. Janet would like to foster rescue dogs occasionally. Maybe we'll start taking Dash back to training class. I'll have to ask Dash though. I'm not sure he ever liked training class. Truthfully, I have no idea what we'll be doing this time next year. I do know that we've got a few good years left and it's important not to waste them. I hope you'll keep reading because this story isn't over yet.

Freckles is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2717

We got up early this morning and took Dot on her final journey. For as long as we've had dogs, we've always wrapped them in their favorite blanket when they passed away and driven them to be cremated ourselves. It was a long drive this morning, but it gave Janet and I a chance for closure. We talked about our favorite memories with Dot and when the time came, I lifted Dot up and placed her on the brick floor of the retort as we said our final goodbyes. Maybe it's just a silly symbolic gesture, but I always feel better knowing that I was there until the very end.

Death is such a strange process. One minute you're alive and then a few seconds later, you're not. The body looks exactly the same, but the spirit has vanished. As I stood next to Dot at the crematorium and stroked her soft ears, it seemed like she was just sleeping. She looked peaceful and remarkably similar to the dog I've watched sleeping next to me on the floor for the past year.

I have no idea how a dog's mind actually works, but I hope that Dot had come to terms with the temporary nature of life before she passed away. I not sure either of my parents came to terms with death and I'm not sure I will either. Life is very fragile. I think all of us should embrace and make the most of the gift of life, but I don't think we should fear death either. It's going to happen to all of us.

When my Dad died, I was the only one who sat in a room and talked with him just before he was cremated. Nobody else in the family wanted to face death that closely, but I found this time peaceful and comforting. I had a long conversation with my Dad. I thanked him for all the opportunities he'd given me over the years and chided him for being such an idiot to fall for one of those Nigerian prince scams toward the end of his life. We weren't always close, but this was one of the better conversations we'd ever had.

Dot knew that we loved her, but as I talked with her in the crematorium's viewing room, I wondered if she realized what a huge influence she had on me. This small dog had made me a better person. Janet and I were quiet as we returned to Dallas. We both knew that there was a large hole in our lives that would take a while to fill.

I'm glad we made the trip when we did, because later in the day there was a horrendous thunderstorm that caused localized flooding all over the place. If we'd been on the road in that storm, our trip would have taken ten times as long. I had planned on returning to pick up Dot's ashes later today, but I'm glad I didn't. Dash was terrified of the loud thunder and I spent a good part of the afternoon sitting under a makeshift blanket tent on the bed with him.

The power flickered this afternoon, but it didn't go out. Janet's drive home from work took forever, but at least the road wasn't underwater like it was in some parts of the city. We had a nice quiet dinner as the storm subsided. As we looked around a house strewn with traction rugs, dog beds, gates, and improvised pens designed to keep Dot safe, we realized that it was going to be a long time before life returned to normal.

Charlie is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2716 - Dot's last day

More than anything else, this blog has been a chronicle of my love for two very special Dalmatians. One of those dogs left this earth at 7 PM this evening. Dot will be missed more than you can possibly imagine. Dot was a rescue. We don't know where she spent her first two years, but for almost fifteen years she has been my constant companion. Over time, I've grown to understand Dot better than I understand the people in my life. Her boundless enthusiasm has kept me going during my darkest hours. She has been the glue that kept our family together through thick and thin. Dot provided solace for Petey during his final years, and when Dash joined our family, she helped transform him from a frightened rescue pup to an assured and confident adult. Dot has always been the alpha dog. She not only groomed and set the ground rules for Petey and Dash, she immeasurably improved the lives of Janet and myself. I honestly don't know where I would be today without her.

I've never seen a dog with more tenacity or desire to overcome adversity than Dot. She survived abdominal cancer and a ruptured disc in her spine that required a neurosurgeon to repair. As she grew older, she outlived the expectations of every vet who ever treated her. Even when she began to show signs of dementia, she refused to give up. Dot loved her daily walks and the time she spent with her family until the very end. Even when I had to spend hours hand feeding her one piece of kibble at a time, she still wanted to stay among the living.

It breaks my heart that Dot wasn't really ready to go at the end. Her spirit never wavered, but her body finally gave up. Dot has been eating less and less for several weeks now. We gradually ran out of things that would interest her. When she lost interest in cheeseburgers and fried chicken, I began to become seriously worried that she wasn't getting enough nutrition to survive. Dot never gave up. On days where I thought she had given up eating entirely, she would miraculously rally and manage to eat just enough to survive to the next day.

Janet and I knew this couldn't continue, but it was equally obvious that Dot wanted to stay with us a bit longer. We controlled her pain with strong medication and let her eat anything she wanted. Even on days where she had no appetite, Dot still demanded her daily walk to the edge of the park.

Two days ago, Dot began throwing up what little she managed to eat during the day. We could tell she was becoming alarmingly thin and there were signs that her pain medication was losing its effectiveness. Last night Dot was miserable. She threw up everything she ate during the day around 3 AM and even that only provided partial relief. Dot had lost her battle to live.

This morning Dot wasn't even interested in bacon. I gave her an anti nausea pill and her pain medication and then fed her some water through a syringe to make sure none of the pills got stuck in her throat. She rested comfortably for the rest of the day while I made her final arrangements. I hate making life or death decisions, but it would be cruel to let her starve to death. I knew this morning that it was time. It is comforting to know that Dot has led an extraordinary and very happy life. She truly enjoyed being the alpha dog in a family that loved and appreciated her. Dot, I'm sorry I can't take you on a walk tomorrow morning. I really tried, but time just ran out on us.

Dot is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2715

Every time Dot has a good day, I expect the next day to be even better. It doesn't work that way though. The whole process seems completely random. When Dot is eating well, she seems like a normal dog with mobility problems. When she isn't eating, there is little I can do to interest her in food. When nothing works, I wait and try again later. It is not uncommon for Dot to refuse food and water until 4 PM and then eat an entire cup of kibble at 6 PM.

Today wasn't a great day. It was hot. There wasn't the additional stimulus of having plumbers around the house. Maybe Dot overexerted herself yesterday, because she didn't have much energy today. Our morning walk was shorter than usual and there was no evening walk at all. I always think there is a rational reason for everything, so it baffles me whenever a good day like yesterday is followed by a bad day like today. Was something out of sequence? Did I do something wrong? I really wish this journey was a little more predictable.

Dot finally ate a little when Janet came home from work, but there was no real enthusiasm. The only thing Dot really wanted to eat today was bacon. I like bacon as much as the next guy, but you can't live on the stuff. Dot ended up eating part of a steak sandwich that Janet brought home from work  and about half a cup of dry food that Dash used to eat. I'm beginning to think that Dot will eat anything she has never tried before. I'd totally forgotten that we still had the bag of food Dot decided to eat tonight. Dash has been off that particular diet for at least three months.

It seems almost impossible to get enough sleep. I don't finish the blog until almost midnight now. We always get up early so Janet can help with the dogs before she goes to work. In between, Dot usually gets me up several times during the night to go outside. That doesn't leave much time for shut eye. Napping during the day doesn't work very well either. When Dot is sleeping, Dash usually wants something, and when Dash is sleeping, Dot needs attention. Dot and Dash never seem to be on the same page anymore.

It's a blessing in a way that work is so slow. If I had a lot of deadlines, I don't know how I'd ever be able to do what I'm doing now. I still try to do a few work related things every day, even though it is largely pointless. Today I figured out how to restore the Favicon that had disappeared from the blog. It turned out that I'd added the Favicon years ago when Blogger didn't support such things. When Blogger added Favicon support, my custom code became invalid. I don't know why it took me two years to figure this out, but better later than never. I also downloaded several instruction manuals for equipment I used to use everyday. The original manuals are lost in the storage warehouse somewhere and the skill I once had operating this equipment seems to be lost as well. I can learn again. I like the fact that practically everything on my bookshelves is available in PDF form somewhere. It's much easier to do a search on Google than to acctually search for something in my office.

We've got one last chance to Dot to eat her quota of food today. It gets kind of dicey after 10 PM. On one hand, you want to make sure that Dot eats enough. On the other hand, if she eats too late at night, she'll throw up. We do the best we can, but we don't always succeed. Hopefully, the pendulum will swing back the other way tomorrow. Maybe I can find another plumbing problem that needs attention.

Amy is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2714

There were plumbers at the house today. The slow drains in the kitchen finally reached a point of no return and I had to do something about it. Plumbers and dogs aren't usually a good combination, but I was happy to have them over today. Dot hasn't paid much attention to strangers lately. She used to bark at the neighbors, people we encountered on our walks, and any and all service people. She's been pretty quiet lately, but somehow the sight of two plumbers in the house caused her protective instincts to kick into gear and she began her "stranger danger" bark. I haven't heard this bark in months.

The more Dot barked, the more she began to remember she was a dog again. I could tell she was enjoying herself. Maybe it was a jolt of adrenaline. Maybe it was some vivid old memories she managed to resurrect. I don't know. Something happened though. Protecting me from the plumbers stimulated her appetite and as soon as the plumbers left, she ate a full cup of her dry kibble. Later, she ate a grilled chicken breast while Janet was having dinner and then we took a nice walk. It was almost worth the $237 bill the plumbers left me with.

I thought snaking out the pipes would be an easy and inexpensive job. Unfortunately, nothing is easy at our house. It turned out that the problem wasn't in the main drain lines. The clog was in a hard to access line in the brick wall behind the kitchen sink. The plumbers has to remove the garbage disposal and several supply lines in order to reach the line they needed to clear. Everything works fine now, but the two plumbers were here almost three hours.

I wonder why there are always two plumbers now? One plumber used to be enough. The same thing happens with electricians and HVAC repairmen. There are always at least two people on any service call. I'm sure this is a big reason why most home repairs now cost twice as much. I wasn't going to quibble about the price though. I was delighted that the plumbers arrived so quickly. In a house where the washing machine is running constantly, I can't afford to have clogged drain lines.

I know there are people who think I'm not being realistic about Dot. They worry about her quality of life. I know life isn't what it used to be, but days like today make me realize that Dot still has the capacity to enjoy being the family dog. Yes, I know yesterday was a bad day, but that's how it goes. I saw this with my Dad as well toward the end. Things fade in and things fade out. You've got to give the memories a chance. There will be other bad days and sometime in the not too distant future, we will run out of time. All I know is that I'm not forcing Dot to stay with us. She wants to stay with us. At least for a while today, she was a very happy dog.

Ollie is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2713 - Memorial Day

Last night I thought we were near the end. When I took Dot outside to pee one last time around midnight, she threw up and then almost immediately stumbled and fell to her side. I initially thought she might have had a stroke, but it was just a bad fall. I'll never know for sure, but I think it was our fault that she threw up. We were worried that she hadn't eaten enough yesterday, so we fed her some more of the Dogsure supplement just before bedtime. This was probably a mistake. Dot drank a fair amount of water after she took her evening pills. With the addition of the Dogsure, she probably had too much liquid in her stomach. What she threw up was mostly liquid anyway.

After this incident, Dot seemed weak, but slept peacefully for the rest of the night. It all seems so complicated. If Dot eats too little, she will starve. If she eats too much, or too late at night, she will throw up. Dot needs to stay hydrated, but she can't always drink from her water bowl normally. When she has trouble drinking, we will feed her water with a syringe. Sometimes this triggers a normal drinking response and she will go to her bowl afterwards and drink even more water. Too much water is probably better than too little water, but it would be nice to get this just right.

I'm always worried that Dot isn't eating enough. Today she eventually ate almost a cup of dry food, about six ounces of sliced turkey, half an Italian meatball, and two slices of bacon. No wonder she has an upset stomach at night sometimes. I'd probably have a stomach ache if I ate the same thing. Dot doesn't always eat the right things, but you really don't want to withhold food from a dog that isn't eating enough. If she's eating anything at all, it's a good thing.

Last night Dot seemed so weak that I though I might have to make the dreaded euthanasia appointment. Right now I feel that Dot has eaten enough today and am happy that she is resting calmly. Later this evening, who knows what I'll be thinking. The time between 11 PM and 2 AM is always the worst.

Since today was a holiday, I had time to run a few errands while Janet was at home with the dogs. I went to Home Depot and bought a heavier rope to hang rugs up to dry after I wash them. I used to throw these rugs in the dryer after we cleaned them, but the rubber backing really made a mess of things. I also went to the REI Memorial Day Sale. I didn't find anything I needed and walked away empty handed. Buying things is losing its allure. All I really want now is sleep.

I'm dreading giving Dot her evening pills. For the past three days everything has gone fine until about an hour after her evening meds. This is when she becomes restless and occasionally throws up. Dot takes exactly the same pills two other times during the day and there is no bad reaction at these times. I don't know what makes the evenings such a problem. We'll hope for the best tonight. Dot needs a good night's sleep and so do I.

Emmitt is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2712

I've lost all sense of time. Dot was restless last night and I ended up walking her around and around in the back yard around 1 AM. I think she wanted a walk, but I'm not walking down the street with a crippled dog in the middle of the night in Dallas. Eventually Dot got tired and we all went to sleep. I don't know why she is always restless right around the time I want to go to bed. Dot is usually calm and peaceful after her first and second set of pills. After her third set of pills around 10 to 11 PM, she becomes active and restless. I don't think she is in pain. She is just restless for about two hours every night. Unfortunately those two hours are always after midnight.

I didn't bother going to the gym today. It was a gray, rainy day and I had plenty to keep me busy at home anyway. Getting Dot to eat has become an all day challenge. You can't force her to eat, so you have to take advantage of those brief moments when she is interested in food. I actually got her to eat something this morning which is a rarity these days. A little later in the day, I discovered that she wanted to eat my leftover bacon from breakfast. I hand fed her little pieces of bacon and since my hands smelled like bacon, I was able to put other food in my hands and she'd eat that too. Eventually, Dot ended up eating almost a full cup of dry kibble in between bites of bacon. In hope that this trick might work again tomorrow, we cooked up some more bacon so it would be ready if we needed it again.

I changed the sheets on the bed and washed a few rugs that got peed on today. My fitness tracker refused to sync with my phone this morning, so I looked for a solution on Google. As usual, there were other people who were having exactly the same problem and it only took about five minutes to find a fix. Since that reset went relatively smoothly, I decided to go ahead and update the system on my phone ad iPad. I also unclogged the large format printer for the first time in weeks. Electronic housekeeping seems to take more time than real housekeeping these days. There's always something that needs to be updated or fixed. Meanwhile in the real world, I still need to vacuum.

It was so humid today that I've already had to empty the dehumidifier bucket twice. I don't know how we lived so long without the dehumidifier. It's ugly and a bit noisy, but we don't have much of a problem with mold and mildew anymore. Now I need to find a solution for slow drains. It might be time to call Roto-Rooter again. All our drains seem slow.

I have a feeling that the house will remain a disaster as long as I'm dealing with Dot. It takes an enormous amount of time to make sure she's comfortable, is still getting a little bit of exercise, and is eating enough to keep from starving. I genuinely think this is what Dot wants, but I can't read a dog's mind. Although Dot is very weak and has a ton of serious problems, she certainly seems to want to stay with us for a while longer. 

Tomorrow is a holiday. It's a luxury to be able to sleep in two mornings in a row. The downside of this extra sleep is that Dot pees in her bed. We were prepared though. This morning, I removed the wet puppy training pad, cleaned her up a bit, and placed a fresh pad under her butt without even waking her up. Then I went back to bed.

Sam is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2711

Dot has forgotten a lot, but she hasn't forgotten birthdays. We celebrated Dash's twelfth birthday this evening and Dot ate her birthday cupcake like a champ. I was surprised, since the Sprinkles doggie cupcake was larger than the things she can normally chew. Motivation is everything, I guess. Dot has always loved cake.

I wish she was equally motivated to eat her dinner. I couldn't get Dot to eat dry food at all today. So far, her somewhat eclectic menu has included three thin slices of turkey breast, a piece of cheddar cheese, and two crackers. This isn't enough.

At least Dot has been calm and peaceful today. There has been none of the anxiety we saw last night. We'll never really know what caused yesterday's problems, but I think she might have gotten a pill caught in her throat. Dot wasn't eating food when she took her evening pills, so she might not have swallowed them completely. When we took her outside and squirted some water down her throat with a syringe, the anxiety seemed to go away and we were all able to go to sleep.

The weather has been hot and humid all day. It's starting to feel like Summer. I'm dreading the warmer weather. Dot can't handle the heat and I can't handle the bugs. I've already started seeing an increase in the number of bugs hanging out on the back porch. Since I am unable to close the back door when I take Dot outside, many of these bugs get inside. Nighttime is the worst, since a lot of the flying insects are attracted to light. I keep several strategically placed flyswatters around the house now. I still think the bugs are winning though.

I wish there was some sort of breakthrough I could report. I know it's not going to happen. We will continue taking things one day at a time. There will be good days and bad days and then there will just be little good moments within the bad days. I have a feeling that Janet will be the one who decides when it is time. I'm not really good at evaluating quality of life. I've experienced little good moments within bad days for so long now that it just seems normal to me. I hope I am not fooling myself about Dot. I really think she enjoyed Dash's birthday party tonight. I could tell that she remembered all the other birthday celebrations and at least for a little while, she was happy. That's worth an extra day in my opinion.

Libby is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2710

This is a weird way to live. I usually wake up tired and disoriented. Usually, I've been up several times during the night with Dot and no matter what time it is, it always seems too early. Often, Janet has already walked Dash, because she needs to get to work. Neither of us wants to wake Dot while she is calm and resting.

Lately, Janet has already left for work by the time I get Dot up for her morning pills. She has no interest in food, but often wants a walk after she is fully awake. If she won't drink water, I take her outside and hydrate her with water from a large syringe before we go anywhere. Sometimes this initial drink of water will kick start her drinking response. Other times, she just looks at her water bowl like she doesn't know what it is.

Mornings are stressful. I don't want Dot to have a dry mouth while she takes her pills, so I've been taking her outside and feeding her some of the Dogsure liquid as I put each pill down her throat. This takes a long time. If this process takes too long, Dash starts barking and often destroys the calm environment I need to feed Dot. I try my best to get Dot to eat while Dash is sleeping, but he's got a keen sense of smell and always seems to know when there are tasty treats nearby. This is not what I want. Dash is getting fat and Dot keeps getting thinner.

For most of this week I haven't had much luck getting Dot to eat in the morning. I gave up again today and fixed my own breakfast after taking Dot back to her bed. I have to make sure all the food is put away before letting Dash out of the bedroom because he is on a special diet. Everything takes so long that it is usually around noon before I have finished my breakfast and put away all the dishes.

Every day I worry that Dot has finally run out of time. It doesn't seem right for a dog to refuse food during the day and only eat after sunset. Dot was still sleeping and hadn't eaten anything when Janet returned from work around 7 PM. I took Dash for a walk and was surprised to discover that Janet was able to hand feed Dot an entire cup of dry food while I was gone. She subsequently drank a lot of water and then proceeded to eat some more dry food from her bowl.

Once again, Dot had eaten enough to survive. In one brief spurt, she had managed to consume her entire two cup daily quota. This would be the last time Dot ate for the rest of the day. When it was time for her evening pills, she had already lost her appetite.

I didn't accomplish much today. I miss going out to the restaurant on Fridays, but my homemade pancakes and sausages were delicious. I picked up the prescription I forgot yesterday and got food for the weekend at Central Market. That was it. The dogs are wearing me out. At times it's really hard to know whether we're doing the right thing. We had some good moments today, but Dot is agitated now and seems uncomfortable. Maybe we waited too long.

Chief is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2709

Today was just like yesterday. Dot wouldn't eat any breakfast and wasn't interested in food when she took her morning and afternoon pills. I used a syringe to feed her some of the Dogsure liquid supplement in the morning, but she didn't start eating on her own until almost 6 PM. She ate half a cup of her kibble, but not nearly enough for the day. I'm counting on her appetite returning one more time before we all go to bed.

I've discovered that Dot will only eat things that she is able to chew. If she tries to chew something and it falls out of her mouth, she won't touch it again. Unfortunately, this rules out a lot of tasty options. She really wanted to eat the flank steak today but it kept falling out of her mouth. I tried different sized pieces, but nothing worked. I think the reason she still prefers the dry kibble that has been her regular diet for years is that she can still chew the tiny pieces.

I've become obsessed with feeding Dot. I've got it in my head that if I fail, she will die. I know that Dot is very old and has lived long past her expiration date already, but that doesn't matter. I can tell she wants to keep going. Eating is one of life's fundamental pleasures. Dot has always loved to eat. I just wish I could find a more effective way to help her. My Dad enjoyed eating too. When Parkinson's Disease took away his ability to swallow, his doctors decided to use a feeding tube. The feeding tube was supposed to be temporary, but of course it wasn't. I think the doctors knew that it was never coming out. Looking back, I realize that Dad started to lose his will to live when that feeding tube was inserted. He would have rather have died choking on a juicy steak than have a nurse pump some tasteless goo into his stomach through a feeding tube every morning.

So how do I make Dot's last days pleasurable? She still gets her walks. We've taken care of the pain as well as we can. Eating is more complex. Dot definitely wants to eat. Unfortunately, the signals just aren't traveling reliably from her brain to her mouth. I'm really starting to believe that Dot does have some canine form of Alzheimer's Disease. Nothing else effectively explains what I am observing everyday.

I took a little nap while the dogs were sleeping this afternoon. When I woke up I realized that I should have gone to the pharmacy and picked up a prescription I'd run out of. Oh, well. I guess it won't kill me to skip a day. Even though life is very basic now, it is still hard to get everything done. I finally did climb up on the roof today and cleared away the standing water from our recent rain. I noticed a few new areas that need to be patched. I'll make another call to the roofer and maybe he'll be back out to the house by the Fourth of July.

I've started eating the food that Dot has rejected. I ate the salmon tonight for dinner. Maybe I'll eat the rest of the flank steak tomorrow. Dot's appetite finally did return about 10 PM when she decided that she wanted to eat Dash's food. Works for me. I have no idea what Dot will decide to eat tomorrow, but I do know that I'm going to have pancakes. Maybe she likes pancakes.

Ranger is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2708

Each day is different. Sometimes Dot wakes up at 6 AM and is ready for a walk. Other times she doesn't kick into gear until after dinnertime. I can never figure out what to feed her. None of the things she ate yesterday interested her today. I couldn't get her to eat anything at all this morning. Dot wasn't even drinking water. This was alarming enough that I took her outside after making sure she'd taken her morning pills and fed her water through a syringe.

Things didn't improve when it was time to take her afternoon pills. Basically, I had to put each pill down her throat without any food, because she wasn't eating anything. The only thing I got her to eat was a small piece of banana bread. Certain smells trigger food memories and others don't. If Dot spits something out after chewing it for a while, she won't touch it again. It's almost as if the saliva from her mouth spoils the taste for her. We waste a lot of food this way.

I was thinking that Dot would have to survive on the Dogsure liquid supplement today when Janet came home from work with a new bag of sliced turkey breast. I think Janet planned on eating the turkey herself, but when she offered a piece to Dot, she snapped it up. Somehow the smell of this turkey jump started her brain and she started eating again. She ate most of the turkey in the bag and then proceeded to drink a lot of water. It was already 7 PM at this point. Once again Dot had come back from the brink.

Her legs seemed weaker than usual today, so we used the wheelchair for our evening walk. Some of our neighbors stopped us along the way and wanted to pet Dot. Everybody in the neighborhood knows Dot, but many people don't realize how fragile and weak she is until they see her in the chair. I've gotten so good at walking Dot using the Help 'Em Up Harness that it often looks like she is walking normally. Trust me, she isn't. On our way home this evening we were joined by a mom pushing her disabled son down the street in a wheelchair. We didn't say much, but I could tell by the way she looked at Dot that she understood what we were going through. Dealing with disability is difficult. I have tremendous admiration for parents who have to deal with a severely disabled child. I don't know where they get the strength.

When we returned from our short walk, Dot went to her bowl and ate some kibble. I felt relieved. We were good to go for another day. I wish each day wasn't a cliffhanger. Realistically, Dot can't go more than two days without eating food. There are many mornings when I think we have reached the end, but somehow Dot's always manages to rebound. I have to remember that a good day today isn't quite as good as a good day last month. We have been slowly sliding downhill for a long time.

Janet went back to the store and got some more sliced turkey breast in case she still has a taste for it tomorrow. Dot doesn't like salmon anymore, so I guess that's what I'll be having for dinner soon. Our refrigerator is rapidly filling up with things that Dot ate once but won't eat a second time.

We'll see how tomorrow goes. Since we got such a late start today, I have a feeling that I'll be taking Dot outside to pee in the middle of the night again.

Ziggy is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day