Friday, July 21, 2017

Day 2766

I must have been really tired this morning. When I woke up, Janet had already eaten breakfast and walked Dash. I've lost the urge to go out for breakfast on Friday mornings, so I fixed myself some pancakes and bacon instead. I really got off to a slow start today. By the time I'd cleaned up the breakfast dishes, the day was well underway.

It didn't seem like Friday at all. I had work to do and spent most of the day writing a new article. It's hard to believe that not that long ago I was writing three or four articles a day for weeks at a time. Times change. Now, it's the exception rather than the rule when I'm busy with work. I can't say I enjoyed all the deadlines, but I was certainly comfortable with them. Writing under pressure was something I'd done for most of my life. Now, as I find myself sliding toward retirement, I'm not certain what to do next.

I try to stay busy and am happy with the occasional assignments I get, but there is no clear purpose anymore. I've become adverse to risk, I don't welcome change, and nothing could convince me to sit through a status meeting. Basically, all the qualities that helped me create and sustain a successful company are gone. Some of my friends have reinvented themselves and gone on to second or third careers, but I'm uncertain what I want to do next.

Luckily, when I've got a writing assignment I don't have to worry about all that. I wrote for most of the day, took a shower, paid my July Mastercard bill, and picked up some burgers for dinner at Chili's. I was going to  use the pressure washer to clean the Eastern side of the house, but it was way too hot for that. The temperature was well over 100 degrees this afternoon.

Dash seemed back to normal today. The frightening thing about idiopathic vestibular disease is that there is no known cure. There are lots of tests you can do to rule out certain things, but if the tests are inconclusive, you just have to try to keep your dog calm when there is an incident and hope for the best. Dash's symptoms are often severe and they make us wonder whether he has some rare disease that hasn't been diagnosed yet. I'm always happy when he recovers, but I'm always worried about what might happen next.

I probably should just quit worrying. My life is still calm and serene compared to what I see on the television news. Janet, Dash and I are all getting older, but I think we are still aging with a certain amount of dignity. I'm smart and I still have a sense of curiosity. It shouldn't be that hard to turn the next twenty years into a meaningful experience. The world might not even be here in twenty years, but I'm going to remain hopeful. I just need to find a purpose.

Katie is today's Dalmatian of the Day
Watch of the Day