Day 1774

When I went to breakfast this morning I couldn't figure out why I was having so much trouble parking my car. Jeez, I come to this place every week. I should be able to park here blindfolded. When I got out of the car, I noticed that the restaurant had re-striped the parking lot and every single parking space was exactly one foot narrower than it was the week before. Sad. Maybe they can squeeze an extra Prius or two into the parking lot now, but what is the point if nobody else can even fit between the white lines? A couple of F-250 Super Duty pickups in the lot didn't even come close. They were so far over the line that only a motorcycle could park in the next slot. When I got my meal with a plastic fork, instead of the customary metal one, I knew the dreaded restaurant consultants had struck again. I don't know why people are so compelled to squeeze every last dime out of their business. It's often the little things, like a decent sized parking place, that customers like the most. When you take these things away people notice. I predict that metal silverware will be back next week. Nobody likes a plastic fork.

I had to drive down to Baylor Hospital for another periodic blood test at the liver center today. When I arrived, I noticed three huge fire department Hazmat trucks and four police cars parked in front of the main building with their lights flashing. There were also about a dozen uniformed officers and a camera crew in the general vicinity. When I checked in at the liver center, I was asked to sign a document saying that I hadn't visited Africa in the past 30 days. I told the receptionist I had never visited Africa in my life and in light of recent developments it was unlikely that I would ever visit the place. I also asked about all the Hazmat trucks parked out front and she just shrugged and said it could be anything. I guess this is the new normal now. When I got home there was absolutely nothing about this dramatic little incident on the local news. It was probably just another false alarm.

I've been trying to terminate my account with one of those companies that monitors security alarms for over two years now. They were overpriced and just didn't do a good job. I send them an official letter requesting that my account be terminated and was assured that I had done everything correctly. Thee only problem was that my account kept being auto-renewed year after year and I kept getting invoices. Whenever I called to complain, the company would apologize profusely and tell me they were aware of the problem and that it would be taken care of. After being assured six months ago by the head of the accounts receivable department that my account was indeed terminated and that I had a $0 balance, I get another call today, saying I owe them $300. I called the same lady who told me that everything was fine last time and explained the situation. She told me that everything was fine again and told me to ignore the phone call. Somehow I don't think this is over. This entire company is brain dead.

Sometimes I think the entire country is brain dead. There is mounting evidence that our government is brain dead. I heard recently that Asians were the fastest growing segment of our population. Large corporations are importing them in record numbers because they just can't find enough people who already live here to fill the highly technical positions these companies need. I have said for a long time that the Chinese will be the first to land on Mars. We're over here fighting about raising the minimum wage at McDonald's when thousands and thousands of really high paying jobs are going unfilled because people graduate from our schools with no real skills. We could learn something from the Chinese, but nobody's listening. I'm glad I was a war baby who had a trouble free childhood in the 1950's and an exciting time coming of age in the 1960's. Things have certainly gone downhill since then.

Ellis is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day