I've got a lot of questions for Dot's oncologist tomorrow when we go to the cancer center for another ultrasound scan and recheck. Dot seems to be getting weaker, but the problems don't appear to be related to her cancer. There are just too many things going on at once. The liver cancer is still there and probably contributes to how tired she is at times, but the real problems are with her legs. The neurological damage in her rear legs has caused her to compensate and transfer more weight to her front legs. Now her front legs go out occasionally and I have to be real careful and try to provide some support for all four legs when I take her outside. Today, she slipped and cut her nose when she fell on a stick on the ground. The cut was minor, but it reminded me of just how fragile she's become.
Janet had to work late tonight, so I had to walk Dot on my own. Even simple things like trying to lock the back door while holding Dot upright seemed problematic. I need two leashes to walk her now: one for the front legs and another for the back legs. There are so many strings that it probably appears like Dot is a marionette as we slowly walk down the street. Without Dash to guide her, Dot's pace was even slower than usual. We inched along making our way down the alley behind our house. Eventually she pooped when a neighbor dog got her barking. Sometimes barking does the trick when nothing else works.
The Jewish holidays have sidelined one of my clients for a while, but I don't know what has happened to the others. It was completely silent today. No e-mails. No phone calls. Nothing. This never used to happen. I guess I better get used to it. It's a collaborative world these days and my lone wolf style of working has gone out of fashion. I used to think it might be fun to go back and work for a large agency again sometime. No one would hire me now. Even if age weren't an issue, I don't seem to play well with others.
I really hope I don't have to load the car up with garbage tomorrow and look for a dumpster again. It kind of spoils my Friday breakfast ritual. Life has become very stressful and I need a couple of hours each week to eat something tasty while I pretend I'm taking a break at roadside cafe in rural Wyoming. Wyoming sounds real nice right now.
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