There are many subtle signs that Dot is slowly going downhill. She tires easily. She is losing control of her bowel movements. She pants frequently and is more sensitive to touch than she used to be. Even though her heart and lungs remain strong, the cancer has taken its toll. I am not ready to say goodbye. Dot isn't either. Despite all her problems, she remains remarkably alert and engaged. If you've been reading for a while, you know how much Dot means to me. Hopefully, the tests we will do tomorrow are only a precaution. I wish there was more I could do, but there really isn't. Old age catches up with all of us in the end.
Janet had a breakfast meeting at work this morning, so we began our morning walk even earlier than usual. The sky was clear and provided me with what might be one of my last opportunities to see all five visible planets. It's interesting how quickly the planetary configuration changes. Mercury appears to have already reached it's high point in the sky and is starting to sink back toward the horizon. Venus has been getting lower in the sky for quite some time now. Jupiter, which was very close to Venus only a few months ago, has already moved far to the West. I used to see Orion ahead of me as we walked toward the park each morning. Now Orion has moved to the evening sky and I see it when I take Dot out to pee before bed time. These changes are oddly comforting because they are so predictable. I could tell you exactly where Jupiter and Venus are going to be five years from now. I wish the rest of life were as predictable as this planetary dance. I'd like to know what lies ahead for Dot. I'd probably like to know what lies ahead for me as well. Financial planning would sure be a lot easier if I knew how long I was going to be around.
I've become intrigued with the new iPad Pro and may get one as soon as I have a little extra money. The large retina screen is fabulous and the fast processor and large internal memory make it a handy substitute for a laptop. One of these things would make a perfect teleprompter for video productions. Needless to say, I haven't produced any videos lately that required a teleprompter, but one can always hope. I probably don't need any new tech toys at all, but I think learning new things keeps me going. The day I finally realize there is no longer a reason to even turn the computer on in the morning will not be a good day.
I got my February invoices prepared and in the mail this afternoon. March invoices are going to have to be a lot better than this if I'm going to get that iPad Pro. Declining income. A declining stock market. Declining health. None of this is good. I know a small handful of people who have retired to beautiful golf course homes and seem to be living an idyllic life, but most are like me. We are confused with a world that has gone topsy-turvy on us. It wasn't supposed to be this way. No wonder Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump are so popular. I think each in our own way, we are all looking for something better.
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