Aging is a tricky business. At first you deny it. Then you fight it. Finally, you embrace it. I spent so many years in advertising that I probably held on to my youth for much longer than I should have. It's a business where youth is worshiped and age is discarded. In my early thirties, we always used to wonder where they put the 40 year old ad guys out to pasture. We never saw any. If you wanted to keep your job and prosper, you needed to figure out how to stay young.
I find that I no longer care what people think of me or how old I might appear. I've become one of those people who talks back to the television, drives slower than the rest of the traffic, and feels no shame in wearing the same shirt for days at a time. In the beginning I briefly thought that having a blog might help my business. Later, I entertained the idea that I was a humor writer who always saw the glass as half empty. Now, I realize that what I'm doing is accurately describing the aging process, one day at a time. If you only read the blog sporadically, it probably seems like an Andy Warhol movie. Nothing seems to happen. If you started reading on Day 1 and continue reading until the end, you might discover something quite remarkable. On the other hand, you might discover nothing at all. Like I said, aging is a tricky business.
Today, I opened a check from a client and discovered that it wasn't all there. I'd been shortchanged. Either this client is having money problems and couldn't send me any more this month, or they're just fucking with me. Either way, it's not a good sign. I wish money was no longer an issue, but I'm afraid it always will be. Globalization has changed everything. A few people have been able to make the transition and everyone else is fighting over table scraps. The way I see things, if you don't lose your job to someone in a third world country who is willing to work for pennies, you will be replaced by a robot.
I will never be replaced by a robot, but my writing and photography efforts have certainly been marginalized by a sea of people who have turned my profession into their own hobby. Everyone is creative these days. It's hard to compete with that. I shouldn't complain though. I'm much healthier than I ever though I'd be five years ago. I've got two great dogs. Janet seems to tolerate me. And even though the market is terrible, my financial advisor tells me that I still stand a reasonable chance of outliving my savings.
I don't believe him of course, because I know he always sees the glass as half full. Who knows what will really happen? It's all a crap shoot as far as I'm concerned. I guess you'll have to keep reading to find out.
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