Day 1276

My feeble attempts at home improvement today were an epic fail. I bought some self-tapping screws and tried to batten down the loose 4x8 sheets of plywood under the carport. I drilled hole after hole, but never found a stud where I could attach the screws. Maybe there weren't any studs and the plywood sheets were just being held by the edges. Who knows? That would certainly explain why the wood was sagging so badly.

I didn't have much better luck up on top of the roof. I also bought a new push broom while I was getting the self-tapping screws, but it didn't seem to work as well as the old broom. The new roof has a gritty, gravel-like texture that made the broom hard to push. This was unfortunate, because after three full days of sunshine, there was still standing water on the roof. I'm beginning to think that the new roof puddles up even worse than the old roof. It doesn't leak anymore though. That's one good thing!

To add insult to injury, I got stung by bees while I was working. These were the same type of honeybees that built a hive in our house a few years ago. I looked around, but couldn't find any evidence of a hive near the house. I have a healthy respect for these bees. Wasps and hornets will often ignore you, but honeybees almost always sting. There's got to be a beehive nearby. Where there are bees, there is honey.

All this futile manual labor probably explains why I am a writer instead of a carpenter. I've never been fond of sweating or lifting heavy objects. I am pretty good at working with my hands, but only out of necessity. In a perfect world, I would live on the seventeenth floor of a luxury high-rose and never do yard work or home maintenance at all. I would spend my time sharing stories with friends over cappuccino at a friendly coffee bar. Maybe someone would make movies like "My Dinner with Andre" about me.

The dogs don't have such delusions of grandeur. I'm beginning to think they do have delusions about the temperature though. Every morning they bound out of the house as if they're eager to run for five miles. It usually doesn't take them five minutes to discover that it's hot outside and they both decide they want to turn around and go home again. I don't like the heat either, but it's getting harder and harder to get my requisite 10,000 daily steps on the Jawbone UP band with such lazy dogs.

This week has gone very quickly. I guess there's something to be said for staying busy. I'm glad tomorrow is Friday though. I'm really looking forward to my regular breakfast outing. I can't say that adding flax seed to my oatmeal has added much excitement to my life.

Marcie is today's Dalmatian of the Day

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