Friday, June 12, 2015

Day 2005

Dot has been leaving little "accidents" around the house. She can't help it. Doctors say that this is not true incontinence. It is a common problem with older dogs that have weak or debilitated hind legs. Dogs like Dot have a real difficulty squatting, so they never fully empty their colon when they poop. As a consequence, poop just falls out of them when they bark or when they get up in the morning. I don't think there is much you can do about this other than be as patient as you can. With Dot's weekly acupuncture, water therapy and exercise regime, we are already doing everything we can to keep her legs strong. The disconcerting thing is that this type of thing happens to people as well. It doesn't paint a pretty picture for growing older. One of the last things I remember my Dad saying before he died was "Nurse, there's a turd in my bed."

Dot's pooping problems haven't really slowed her down. I don't even think she's aware that when she opens her mouth to bark, things fall out the other end. Despite all her problems, Dot is still a happy dog. She wakes up every morning eager for breakfast. She loves her morning walks and relishes smelling every bush along the way. Today, the weather was warm and she wanted to lay outside in the grass and sun herself like she used to do when she was healthy. I can't leave her alone in the yard anymore, because if a car came down the alley, she would try her best to run back and forth along the back fence barking at it. Running is something she should never do because she could seriously hurt herself. Both dogs were having such a good time sunning themselves that I just sat on the garden bench for forty five minutes watching them while the mosquitoes bit me. You have to have a lot of patience with an older dog.

U-Verse isn't working again, so I was trying to show Janet how to work the Hulu remote control this evening. I don't watch Hulu and Netflix all that much, but whenever I do, I'm amazed at the thousands and thousands of things just sitting there on our TV waiting to be watched. It makes me wonder why I'm spending all this money on U-verse service when there are all these other things available for next to nothing. Oh, wait. I remember now. It's U-verse that powers my Internet connection and WiFi network. If I dropped the U-verse service, I would automatically lose all the other things that are streamed for next to nothing over the Internet. My high-tech thermostat would quit working too. There's always a catch.

My insurance agent finally called me back to explain why my rates were so high. He offered me several alternatives, which somewhat inexplicably cost even more than what I am already paying now. When I patiently explained to the agent that the whole point of my call was to reduce my rates instead of increase them even further, he seemed perplexed. I guess it wasn't in the cards to save any money today.

One of my clients also happens to be one of my doctors. I didn't feel like driving up to the clinic just to make an appointment, so I thought I try making an appointment online using a new appointment widget I'd added to his website recently. When I clicked the "Make An Appointment" button, I was presented with a calendar that showed all the available appointment times. Every single morning for the rest of the month was available. This didn't seem right at all, because this particular doctor is always busy. No afternoons were available either, which was even more peculiar.  Since the online system seemed all screwed up, I drove up to the clinic and made my appointment the old fashioned way. "Do you know that your online appointment system doesn't work," I told the guy at the front desk. "Oh, that thing isn't even connected to our system anyway," the guy said. "When someone clicks on one of those buttons, the company that sold us the online service calls us and asks if we have that time available. If we do, we call the patient back and confirm the appointment." "So, clicking on the button doesn't actually make you an appointment at all," I said. "Nope," the guy told me. This has got to be the world's worst automated appointment system.

I hope that Dot doesn't poop in her bed tonight. I'd like to get a good night's sleep without getting up at 3 AM to clean up the peculiar smell next to the bed that woke me up in the middle of the night. It happens a lot.

Lucky is today's Dalmatian of the Day
Watch of the Day


  1. hi John. You're doing a wonderful job caring for your two dogs. I know the poop story and in the end, I diapered my dog at night. That way, when the poop fell out of her in the morning, it would land in the diaper, which I removed as soon as I got her outside. I also had a harness for her, so I could support her when she pooped or peed outside. She just relaxed into it, and it held her up when her back legs no longer could. You learn as you go and do the best you can, for as long as you can.

  2. We use a Help 'Em Up Harness with Dot, which really helps when the ground is slippery. Diapers have been problematic, since Dot usually kicks them off while she is having dog dreams. You're right! You just do the best you can for as long as you can...

  3. Some appointment service! Sometimes the electronic whizbangs don't work nearly as well as a phone call or paper and pencil