Day 3691

How can it be February already? It seems like I was trying to stay awake until midnight on New Year's Eve just a few days ago. Time flies. Tomorrow, we'll be watching the Superbowl again. I guess I'm for Kansas City although I don't know why. I haven't really followed either team this season. I hope the ads are better this year. I think Superbowl advertising has been going downhill for quite some time. I'm pretty old school. I still want to see a Budweiser ad with Clydesdales and a Dalmatian. I used to always go to a special game day Superbowl Sale at a clothing store that was once a client of mine. They had some great bargains, but I think the sale has been discontinued. Like almost everything else in life, Superbowl Sunday doesn't seem as familiar anymore.

When I was running errands this morning, I noticed that a little neighborhood watch repair shop I used for many years had gone out of business. The building was empty. Even the sign was gone. This made me a little sad. The owner was a nice guy but he was in poor health. The last time I saw him, he told me that he had to go in for dialysis three times a week. I wouldn't be surprised if he died. I wish I'd gone in to visit a few more times while the store was still open. I'm not all that interested in watches anymore, but I still could have stopped to say hello. Now the store is empty and I'll never know what happened. I can't even remember the guy's name.

I guess the press office folks at Kennedy Space Center don't work on weekends. I still had some questions on Friday but haven't received any answers yet. The schedule has changed so much that I'm not sure what to do now. Some of the most interesting parts of the event have been canceled and now there is a down day with nothing to do between all the briefings and the actual launch. I'd like to find out if I have the option to go to some of the events, but not all. Maybe I'll find out something on Monday. I'm reluctant to add another day to this already lengthy  trip, but I might have to.

This has been one weird winter. For now, I'm not complaining though. Today was beautiful. The sky was clear and it felt like an early spring day. I should have gone up on the roof this afternoon and maybe even washed my car, but I'm too slow for this many activities in a single day. After I ran my usual Saturday errands and took my walk, the day was essentially over. I'll probably regret not getting more done today because I just noticed that it might snow next Wednesday.

The building where Dot and Dash got cancer treatments was badly damaged by the tornado we had several months ago. I just learned that they decided not to rebuild and permanently closed the office instead. Now dogs will have to go to the clinic's Fort Worth office for treatment. I can't help but think how bad this would be if your dog was in the middle of treatment when the tornado hit. Dot and Dash had to go to the cancer center several times a week for radiation and chemotherapy treatments. It was hard enough to transport them to the nearby clinic when they were sick. Taking them to an entirely different city three times a week would have been a full time job.

No more Superbowl Sale. No more neighborhood watch repairman. No more convenient cancer center. And a whole new schedule for the Solar Orbiter launch. Why does everything have to keep changing?

Myles is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 3402

Godspeed Dash. I'll see you on the other side. As Janet and I prepared to say our final goodbyes, I couldn't help but think that we'd done this way too often. We got up early this morning and prepared to make the long drive to the crematorium. These places all seem to be located in little rural communities, far from the city. It was still raining when we left the house and I was hoping that we wouldn't encounter a hailstorm. Our first stop was to pick up Dash at the cancer center. Two of his favorite nurses helped us place him in the car. They'd been with him through thyroid cancer, vestibular disease, a blood clot in the heart, and much more. We all knew this was the end of an era.

I wish pets didn't have to be placed in a freezer after they died. It must be a health regulation. Dash's fur was still soft and silky, but he was very cold. Death still seems strange and mysterious to me. The body looks exactly the same. It seems natural to want to talk to the dead, but you never get an answer. I read an article recently saying scientists now think that the brain lives on for a short time after death. I'm not sure if I like this. If Dash was still aware for a few additional moments, I hope he was comforted knowing that the two people who loved him most were still right there with him.

When we arrived at The Pet Loss Center, we wrapped Dash in his favorite blanket and sat quietly in a dimly lit room with him for a while. We remembered the good times and the bad. We probably only remembered a very small fraction of our time together. The other memories will come and go for the rest of our lives. Life with Dot and Dash was unique and special. Although both Dot and Dash were sick toward the end of their lives, they were basically very healthy dogs. We did so much together.

Since we didn't want to make the long drive to the crematorium twice, we stayed in the area while Dash was being cremated. After watching as Dash's body was placed in the retort, we had lunch in a small country restaurant the crematorium staff recommended. While we waited to pick up Dash's ashes, we enjoyed one of the best meals we've had in a long time. This family restaurant has been in the same location under the same management since 1956. The menu and prices were like traveling back to our childhood in a time machine. Our Moms made this kind of food.

There are now six little urns on our coffee table. Each dog had their own personality, but they were all definitely Dalmatians. There's something special about a Dalmatian that you're not going to understand until one of these dogs joins your family. Fun times. I just wish dogs lived longer.

I took a long walk after we returned to Dallas. I need to get some better walking shoes, but I think I'm going to be doing a lot of walking this year. While I was out today I met a photographer who was taking pictures of owls. There were two large owls, a Mom and a Dad, who were keeping guard over a nest with two baby owls. The guy said the babies weren't ready to fly yet, but that occasionally they  would stick their heads out of the hole in a dead tree where they were living. We traded stories about animals we'd seen in the park and then I continued on my way. Maybe I'll come back and take pictures of these owls someday.

I took the trash out to the curb tonight. It was the only thing that seemed normal about today.

Mattie is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2835

The news isn't good. Dash has two blood clots in his heart. I asked the vet how large and he told me that one of the clots was about the size of a quarter. How is that even possible? The vet said that the whistling sound Dash's heart murmur makes and all the seemingly unrelated symptoms we described to him made sense once he saw the clots on the echocardiogram. Dash's heart isn't pumping enough blood. This leaves him fatigued and probably uncomfortable at certain times of the day. He said the heart problem could also explain the loss of appetite.

We expected to find something wrong when we took Dash to the cancer center for an extensive series of tests today. We just didn't expect this. I thought Dash's cancer might have returned. Maybe the loss of appetite was a long term side effect of his vestibular disease. I never expected to find two giant blood clots inside his heart. I asked the vet how he planned to remove the clots and he just gave me a sad look.

"If you try to break up the clot, the smaller pieces could travel to the brain or lungs," he told me. "What about surgery," I asked. "There are no blood banks for dog blood," the vet said. "Without an adequate supply of blood, you can't hook the dog up to a heart lung machine during surgery like you would with a human patient." He said there have only been a small handful of successful open heart surgeries on dogs in the entire world.

This was not encouraging news. The vet wants Dash to start taking Plavix, to prevent additional clots from forming. He said that at least 50% of the time, the body will eventually reabsorb the existing clots and the dog will be fine. I filled the prescription and we starting giving Dash Plavix tonight. I don't think we have any other alternative. The downside to Plavix, and most other blood thinners, is that the blood no longer clots. If Dash cuts himself, he could bleed to death. When I think of all the times Dash has gotten cut, including his dewclaw injury just a few weeks ago, keeping him from getting cut seems like an impossible task.

It rained a lot this morning. I got up on the roof and removed the standing water before Janet and I took Dash to the cancer center. Since the leaves are starting to drop from all our trees, the roof was a mess. The leaves turn the water on the roof into little duck ponds that never drain. It's very discouraging. I did get a writing job today. Ordinarily, this would be good news. Dash's vet bill this afternoon was ten times what I'll make from the writing job. It kind of makes me wonder why I even bother.

It was not a great day, but you can't give up. I got some little rubber boots for Dash so he won't cut his paws on walks. He's done that several times before. I'll do my pitiful writing job and hope to get more of the same. I'll call the roofer again and hope that he keeps his promise to make things right.

At least it's Friday tomorrow. I'm not even sure if I'll go out for breakfast. I'm not very hungry. I'm just tired and discouraged.

Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2763

Things are looking up. Dash got a good report at his semi-annual cancer review. He is still cancer free and his doctor saw no reason to worry about his enlarged heart or vestibular disease. We learned what to look for in case his heart condition becomes worse and we pretty much already knew what to look for with his ongoing vestibular disease. For an old dog who has had many problems, Dash is looking pretty good.

The yard looks pretty good too. The landscapers arrived early this morning and spent the day removing a year's worth of dead leaves and small sticks before installing a brand St. Augustine turf. Janet and I realize by now that because of our soil and the four large trees in our back yard, that the grass won't last forever. It never does. The yard sure looks pretty now though. It should be a lot easier to keep the house clean too, since Dash won't be tracking mud inside every time there is a rainy day.

The landscapers probably think we are nuts to keep replacing our back yard every year, but there really isn't an alternative. A lot of large trees in the park don't have much grass under them either. The tree roots cover the yard like a canopy and suck up all the water. There is almost no way to provide the grass with an adequate amount of water during a hot Summer. We'll do the best we can. One thing is certain. Our water bill is going to go up next month.

I took my first walk since the dog bite this morning. My leg didn't swell appreciably afterwards and there was very little pain, so I think it will be OK to return to a more active life. The July heat will prevent me from over doing things. Early mornings are really the only time when it is cool enough outside to safely walk a dog. I'm going to continue sleeping with my feet elevated for a while. That seems to be the key to keeping my ankles from swelling.

The combination of good news at the vet and a pretty yard spurred me on to tackle some other ongoing problems. I contacted the roofers and asked them to come out again and make a few more patches. I have't received a response yet, but I seldom do. I also contacted the Land Rover dealer and asked them to apply my discount coupon to yesterday's bill. They gave me some sort of weird answer, saying that it was difficult to apply a credit to a job that was already closed. Come on guys. I'm a good customer. If you keep treating me this way, I might buy an Audi next time.

Dot was really loved within the veterinary community. When we had Dash up at the cancer center today, her medical team came out and gave Janet and I a hug, telling us what a special girl she was to them. Her oncologist said she would never forget her. This meant a lot to me, since I will never forget her either. I will remember when Dot and Dash were young and healthy as the best of times. I like having dogs around, but we're not thinking of getting a companion for Dash. He's adjusting well to being an only dog and he's getting older too. I'm a realist. Taking care of Dot was exhausting and taking care of Dash will be equally exhausting when he starts to fall apart. Dash will always get the love and care he deserves, but I don't have the energy to start over with a puppy again.

Janet has started talking about going back to work. Her recovery is really going well and if she gets a good report from her oncologist later this week, Dash and I might be on our own again sooner than we expected. It's been a really tough Summer, but I think we have weathered the storm. Although I'm a glass is half empty kind of guy, today the glass actually seemed half full.

Beemer is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2707

Today was discouraging. Dot ate, but not nearly as well as she did yesterday. When we went to the cancer center we didn't even do the regular battery of cancer tests. Dot's oncologist agreed with us that cancer wasn't Dot's biggest problem now. It is her ability to keep eating that will determine how long she is able to stay with us.

The oncologist was very kind. She spent a lot of time talking with us about end of life issues and helped us understand the critical things we need to be looking at before we make a final decision. You'd think pain would be the most important issue, but Dot's pain medication is so effective that Dot is not in pain. The oncologist said that you have to be careful not to get over confident with a dog that is taking Dot's medications. The powerful meds could be masking some serious conditions that would otherwise be evident. We need to keep an eye on Dot's anemia. It is getting worse, but it is not critical. We need to make sure Dot is well hydrated. Even though she is drinking water, she might not be getting enough.

The doctors and nurses at the cancer center have been watching Dot's decline for at least a year now. Dot's oncologist thinks now that she has a form of canine Alzheimer's disease, along with her many other ailments. Alzheimer's would explain a lot. A lot of times Dot seems to forget the most basic things, including how to eat. Not all vets agree that dogs can get Alzheimer's disease, but many think they can. In fact, some researchers are studying dogs with cognitive problems to help understand how Alzheimer's works in humans.

The trip to the cancer center made Dot very tired, so we weren't planning on taking a walk today. I took a short nap right after dinner and much to my surprise Janet told me that she and Dot walked to the park and back while I was asleep. Dot is definitely determined. She didn't eat enough today, but at least she tried. We were able to add canned tuna and flank steak to the short list of things she likes this week. I hope she still likes the tuna tomorrow. It's actually pretty good for her. We now try to feed her some of the Dogsure liquid supplement using a syringe every day to help insure that she is still getting enough nutrition with her constantly changing diet.

I may have lost one of my last remaining clients. I learned that the company owner is planning to use one of his sons to do his marketing now. This has happened to me before. I think everybody's kid has gone into marketing. That's what they all seem to do these days. Sometimes I get hired back however when the parents discover that their kids aren't quite as sharp as they thought they were. We'll see what happens. I'm kind of at the stage where I don't really care.

The audio gear I ordered last week arrived this afternoon and I didn't even open the box. That's what kind of day it's been. I'm totally focused on Dot now. If she still wants to keep on going for a few more weeks, I'm going to try to make it happen for her.

Willie is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2679

I was so optimistic yesterday and today it's the exact opposite. Dot had an extensive evaluation at the cancer center this morning and the prognosis was not encouraging. In addition to all her other problems, Dot now has anemia. The oncologist gave her a Vitamin B12 shot, but this is just a temporary solution. The combination of Dot's decreasing appetite, her difficulty swallowing, the ongoing nerve damage, the cancer in her liver, and now the anemia made the oncologist conclude that Dot's body is starting to shut down. She was very worried that Dot was losing her appetite. When I asked how long Dot could maintain a reasonable quality of life, I was told that she probably has two to three months at best.

I kept asking about the cancer, but the oncologist stopped me at one point and said "Dot is a very, very old dog. She's dying of old age." It's hard to deal with the fact that every beginning has an end. Dot has been my constant companion for so long that it's hard to imagine a time when she's no longer there. After much discussion, we all decided that the best thing we could do now was keep Dot free from pain. The oncologist thought that pain might be causing Dot to lose her appetite, because her vital signs and blood chemistry were still basically good. We're putting her on a stronger and much more effective pain medication that is intended for end of life care. Extended use of this medication can cause liver damage, but her liver is quite damaged already. If she's comfortable she might start eating normally again and if she's eating normally a lot of things will improve.

The one bright spot in a rather dismal day was that I discovered a way to get Dot to take her pills. I bought some Velveeta cheese on the recommendation of Dot's physical therapy vet and she loves it. I had no problem getting her to take her meds today. I did have a problem finding the Velveeta cheese at the grocery store. I kept looking in the refrigerated section where all the other cheese was displayed. No Velveeta there. I finally found a big stack of yellow Velveeta boxes sitting on an unrefrigerated shelf next to the chips and dips.

For some reason the Velveeta cheese brings back distant memories of the days when I lived on Ramen noodles and beer. I don't think this stuff is even really cheese, but don't tell that to Dot and Dash. They love the stuff. Actually, it's not that bad. I ate some myself while I was giving the dogs their meds this afternoon and it made me hungry for queso and chips. I may need to go buy a can of Ro*Tel tomatoes.

I walked Dot with her wheelchair again this evening. She walks really well using the device, but it's a little difficult navigating the gravel alley behind our house until we get to a smoothly paved road. Although the wheelchair protects Dot from falling, it is not a magic bullet. Dot still gets tired because she's still moving four very weak legs. We walk slow and I let her stop whenever she feels like it. All in all, the wheelchair is a big plus. I just hope she stays strong enough to continue using it.

I have no big plans for tomorrow. After back to back vet appointments, we could all use a little rest. I did manage to retrieve my jacket today, although I probably won't wear it again until Fall. Summer is definitely on the way.

Pogo is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2650

The restaurant I visited this morning was really old school. People were reading newspapers instead of looking at their phones. I didn't see a single phone in use in the entire restaurant. It was odd to see so many newspapers. I must admit that I haven't read the paper myself for several years. The food was good at this old fashioned place, but the portions were huge. I felt vaguely guilty that I couldn't finish my meal. I grew up with a mother who made me eat everything on my plate and I've religiously cleaned my plate ever since.

I actually struck up a conversation will a fellow diner, which was probably rarer than seeing a newspaper. The guy was wearing a t-shirt that said "the Falcon has landed" with a picture of the Space X Falcon 9 rocket. I was enough of a space nerd to realize that this was a play on words, referring to Neil Armstrong's famous phrase "the Eagle has landed" when Apollo 11 touched down on the moon. I asked the guy if he worked at Space X and he said "I wish." We talked for a while about NASA, the moon, Elon Musk, and our fascination with space flight. The guy asked me whether I collected space memorabilia.  I told him no, but that I did stay up late last night to watch the Space X Echostar launch.

Dot had her monthly cancer recheck this afternoon. She rides so much better in the car now that Janet has started going with us to the exams. Janet sits in the back of the car with Dot and is able to calm her when she gets frantic and has a panic attack. Dot was actually calm enough when we arrived at the cancer center today that the nurse was able to get a decent blood pressure reading for a change.

The good news is that the growth of the tumors in Dot's liver has slowed. Each mass only grew about one millimeter this time. She still has four tumors, but no new ones have appeared. The oncologist seemed pleased that Dot was responding well to the pain medication and said her condition was more or less stable. She still wants us to come back every month for an ultrasound scan though. One of the tumors is large enough that it could become a problem at any time. Greta, one of our earlier Dalmatians, also had liver cancer. I wish we had handled Greta's illness the same way we are doing now with Dot. Greta was old as well when we discovered her cancer and wasn't able to survive the surgery. She died at the hospital. It would have been better to just keep her comfortable at home during whatever remaining time she had.

I got a notice from AT&T today saying that my wireless bill was overdue. Jeez, I sent the guys a check over two weeks ago. AT&T gave me an extension until next Wednesday to see if the check shows up. Maybe it will and maybe it won't. How could it take two weeks to get a letter to Atlanta?  I have a feeling that it's finally time to give up on the US mail. The post office has lost things of mine before and I'm sure they will again. Janet pays all her bills online and has urged me to do the same many times. At least when you pay online, you know instantly if your payment went through. Unfortunately, I'm just about as old school as the restaurant I visited this morning. I like traditions like going to the post office and the bank. There is something nice about these traditions, just like writing letters on paper to my sister.

I hope Dot sleeps well tonight. We kind of had a rough night yesterday and neither of us got very much sleep. I remember cleaning up poop and throwing rugs in the washing machine at 3 AM. Hopefully tonight will be calmer. We could all use the rest.

Alison is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2622

I'd hate to be in the restaurant business. Customers are fickle. Reviews are seldom fair. And employee turnover is unbelievable. I ate breakfast this morning at a place I haven't visited for several months and there wasn't a single familiar face. The entire staff was new. The food had actually improved, so maybe the staff changes were a good thing. Like I say, I don't understand the restaurant business at all.

Most of the day was spent taking Dot to her appointment at the cancer center. Janet was able to take some time off work today to help me transport Dot. Having two people in the car seemed to help. Janet sat in the back with Dot and was able to calm her down when she became agitated and tried to move around. Dot arrived for her exam a lot calmer than she usually does, but her blood pressure was still a little high.

We got some more bad news today. Her cancer is progressing and there are now four tumors growing in her liver. There were only three the last time we checked. The oncologist told us that Dot's liver and kidneys are still functioning normally and that even though the cancer was growing, it was growing slowly. She is starting to feel some discomfort though, so we added Gabapentin to her growing list of meds. The oncologist also wants to go back to testing Dot once a month, since the cancer could always start growing faster at any time.

While we were at the hospital we saw a family who had to make the decision to put their dog down. It was sad to watch them say their goodbyes. The dog actually looked in better shape than Dot, but I'm sure there was more to the story than we were seeing. They always tell you that your dog will let you know when it's time to go, but sometimes they don't. It's a big responsibility when you have to make that decision for them. I dread the day when we are faced with making this decision. Hopefully, Dot will make her wishes very clear. Right now it is obvious that Dot still loves life and wants to keep on going. As the cancer continues to grow, things will inevitably become more confusing.

When we got home today Janet asked me if I knew that Dot's oncologist was deaf. "What makes you think she is deaf," I asked. "Well, she was reading your lips," Janet told me. Have I ever mentioned that I'm not very observant. I could tell you exactly what shade of brown Dot's poop was today and I would notice instantly if you moved any of the books on my bookshelf, but I'm not very good at reading faces. Chances are if I met you on the street, I wouldn't even recognize you. I can never tell when people are happy or sad either. I guess it's a good thing that I'm seldom aware when people are mad at me.

We've got a long weekend coming up. I hope this means that everybody will get a little more sleep. The oncologist wants me to watch Dot closely this weekend to make sure that the Gabapentin doesn't make Dot lethargic and lose energy. "But how can I tell," I asked? "She doesn't have any energy right now." I think all Dot's doctors are amazed that she's still alive.

Lexi is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2618

I don't know why I even bother to get Dash's blood pressure tested. He gets so agitated riding in the car that his blood pressure is almost always elevated by the time we arrive at our destination. Today, he was even worse than usual, whining and barking in my ear all the way to the cancer center. He didn't even calm down once we arrived. Needless to say, his blood pressure was high. The only times I've ever been able to get an accurate reading on Dash is when he's already in the hospital for an extended stay.

Dash eventually calmed down a little, but by then the nurses had already moved on to their next patients. While I sat in a room waiting for the doctor to arrive with his evaluation, Dash fixated on a jar full of dog treats sitting on a counter and started barking all over again. He was basically just a bad dog today, but the doctor did say that his condition had dramatically improved. Nobody seemed terribly worried that Dash's blood pressure was high, which made me wonder why I was spending my afternoon taking Dash to the vet. I did have to admit that Dash appeared healthy though. I wish there was a way to test Dash's blood pressure at home when he actually was relaxed, but human blood pressure monitors don't work on dogs, and veterinary monitors are very expensive and hard to use. For the time being, I think we're all going to assume that Dash's medications are working.

I took the images that I shot yesterday over to the client, but we had a hard time transferring them to the office server. Fewer and fewer computers seem to have an SDHC card slot anymore. Even Apple has dropped the SD card slot on their latest laptops. This makes no sense to me at all. You've got to have a way to conveniently move pictures from the camera to the computer. I doubt that computer makers care much about professional photographers these days. They've all realized that the vast majority of their customers take pictures with their phones. Eventually, we found an older computer in the back of the building that still had a card slot and transferred the images. I apologized for how big the file folder was, but the art director wanted RAW files. Hey, at least all the images got transferred before somebody accidentally erased them.

I wish I could think of a way to help Dot grow stronger. It would be nice if there was something that kept her mentally alert too. With each passing week she seems to become a little weaker. There really isn't much I can do at this point. Dot still enjoys her meals and we take our slow daily walk to the end of the street, but she spends a lot more of her time sleeping these days. She just doesn't have the energy anymore. This year feels like a long goodbye. I just hope I can make the transition as pleasant and pain free as possible. This Friday we go back to the cancer center for another ultrasound scan. I wouldn't be surprised to learn that her cancer had advanced significantly. It feels that way.

I still can't tell whether I've got a cold or allergies. It seems like my eyes have been watering and I've been sneezing for weeks now. It's a bit early for Spring allergies, but I don't have all the usual symptoms of a cold either. At any rate, I wish the red nose and itchy eyes would go away. I'm probably just run down. A week with eight hours of sleep every night would probably cure everything.

Tessa is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2611

Dash was released from the hospital today. He's still a little shaky, but he is much better than when we visited him on Saturday. Dash has never traveled well in the car and I definitely shouldn't have agreed to pick him up during the evening rush hour. It was a stressful drive home to say the least. Dash was causing such a commotion that I figured if he didn't have another stroke on the way home, he was cured. I still don't have a clear idea what caused the seizures. Three highly regarded specialists examined him during his stay at the cancer center and each had a slightly different opinion. Does Dash have vestibular disease? Did high blood pressure cause a capillary to burst in his cerebellum? Were these seizures new or have there been subtle signs that this was about to happen for a long, long time? We may never know the answer.

Dash came home with a big bag of meds.  Admittedly, some of these pills were the same ones he was already taking when he was admitted to the hospital, but it was still a bit sobering to see how much medication he needs to take every day. Hopefully, we'll never get these pills mixed up with the ones Dot needs to take, or with my own. Our kitchen is already starting to look like a pharmacy. Dash needs to stay calm for the next couple of weeks. That's a tall order to say the least. I couldn't even keep him calm on the way home from the hospital this evening.

I haven't been asked to do a complicated photo shoot for quite some time, but that's about to change. I was on the phone this afternoon, trying to work out the logistics for a photo session this weekend that involves teenagers, dogs in costumes, and a leftover set from Erykah Badu's latest music video. I kept trying to tell my client that I was getting too old for this sort of thing, but she kept insisting that she had faith in me and wanted me to do the job. Janet says she'll watch the dogs while I'm gone, so I guess the shoot is a go, whether I'm ready or not.

I finally got all the rugs cleaned that Dot peed on the other day. Every time I complete this task I feel a bit like Sisyphus, eternally pushing the rock up the hill. I know that within a day or two, I'll have to repeat the whole process all over again. I'm still trying to figure out how my complicated routine is going to change, now that Dash needs extra attention. If Dash would just stay calm, my job would be a lot easier, but calm is not a word you would normally associate with Dash. For most of his life, he has been high strung and nervous. Along with all his other problems, we discovered today on one of the new scans that Dash has an enlarged heart. I always knew he had a heart murmur, but there was no reason to assume that he automatically had heart disease. We rescued Dash and will never know his entire history, but I'm willing to bet he was a puppy mill dog. He has way too many health issues.

Dash was quite excited and very happy to be home this evening, but he wouldn't eat his dinner. I'll need to call the cancer center in the morning and find out what they were feeding him. Apparently, his appetite was quite good while he was away. Dash has always been a finicky eater. If he's decided he likes something new, it's going to be hell getting him to eat his old food again. Of course, I may be overthinking things. Dash could easily gobble down the same food he rejected tonight when we feed the dogs breakfast tomorrow morning.

I hope we all get a good night's sleep tonight. Dot seems happy that Dash has returned and our high strung boy has finally calmed down and is taking a nap on the bed. I'm more than ready for life to return to some semblance of normality. Picking up poop in the house is no big deal, but having two dogs that might drop dead at any minute is a bit stressful.

Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2609

Dash is not much better than he was yesterday. The doctor sounded a little disappointed when he called us this morning. Dash is still unsteady on his feet and has some coordination problems when eating. They were worried that his blood pressure is still too high, even though he has been taking blood pressure medication for quite some time. The good news is that he has experienced no further seizures. During the weekend Dash will undergo further tests at the hospital to see if it is possible to pin down the cause of his seizures. Even though vestibular disease is still the primary suspect, the doctors are now investigating whether he might have had a stroke. Evidently the symptoms associated with idiopathic vestibular disease and a degeneration of the cerebellum in the brain can be remarkably similar. I did a little research myself and discovered the vestibular and cerebellar degeneration are often misdiagnosed in humans. Even an MRI is not conclusive.

It's kind of scary to realize that serious problems are not always easy to fix. High blood pressure can definitely cause problems in the brain. I know this from experience. Before I got my own blood pressure under control, I experienced several TIA ministrokes. Luckily, this temporary lack of blood flow to the brain doesn't cause permanent damage, but it was quite sobering to have a neurologist tell me what could have happened. It's too bad that dogs can't talk. A neurological exam mostly consists of the doctor asking you questions. Without the ability to accurately describe how you are feeling, diagnosis can be quite difficult.

One thing I learned today is that vestibular problems can often result from an earlier injury to the head or neck. Bingo. Many years ago, Dash was attacked and severely injured by an aggressive loose dog in the park. The large dog bit him in the neck and wouldn't turn loose. It took months for Dash to fully recover from this injury and he probably would have died if I hadn't been able to get him to a veterinarian for surgery very quickly. All the problems he's having now may be the long term result of this old injury.

Hopefully, Dash will show further improvement tomorrow. We can't visit him at the hospital on Sundays, but the doctor will call and give us a progress report. I wish she could tell Dot that everything is going to be OK. I am already noticing changes in Dot's behavior. You can tell that she misses having Dash around. She was extra needy today. I tried to vacuum the house, but every five minutes Dot would bark and demand some attention. I never ignore these barks, because I've learned that very often she's trying to tell me that she needs to pee. I did eventually get the house cleaned, but it took me all afternoon.

Sometimes I wonder why dogs are sick so often, but it is mostly because their lifespan is so compressed. I recently stumbled across one of those online calculators that converts dog years into human years. According to this website, Dot is now 120 years old. That can't possible be right, but Dot is a very old dog. If I'm lucky enough to live as long as she has in dog years, I"m sure I'll have a multitude of health problems. My Dad was healthy as a horse until his 75th birthday and then everything began falling apart quite rapidly. The guy who hardly ever had to go to the doctor eventually succumbed to prostate cancer, Parkinson's disease, macular degeneration and dementia. 

Tomorrow we'll have our Superbowl dinner for the second week in a row. This time I think we've got the date right. I may go to the annual Superbowl sale at my favorite menswear store. I don't wear dress clothes anymore, but these guys used to be a client and the special one day 75% off sale is a long standing tradition. I'll probably go to the gym as well. It's been a long, tough week. Maybe a good workout will get rid of some of the stress I've been feeling.

Duke is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2608

I got a call shortly after breakfast updating me on Dash's condition. The doctor was cautiously optimistic. Dash didn't have any additional seizures last night and is now able to stand up on his own. He still shows signs of vertigo or dizziness and takes very tentative, cautious steps. There is also still some involuntarily eye movement. He isn't out of the woods yet, and he'll be staying in the hospital at least one additional day. I went to visit later in the day and I have to agree with the doctor's assessment. Dash is still very shaky. They let me take him outside to pee and he was still turning his head from side to side occasionally and seemed uncertain about walking. I was glad he was wearing his service dog harness, because I needed to hold onto the handle on top to steady him. Even though I was disappointed that he couldn't come home today, Dash was still much better than when we admitted him to the hospital yesterday. I have a feeling that he'll be staying at the hospital over the weekend. He receives excellent care at the cancer center and it isn't worth the risk of a relapse on Superbowl Weekend, when it would be hard to get him readmitted to an emergency facility.

The house is very quiet without Dash. Dot depends on Dash for stimulus and sleeps even longer when he's not around. Our routine seemed different today. Dot still needs to go outside every three hours to avoid peeing in the house, but it was harder to wake her up and get her upright and walking. It is obvious that Dash is an integral part of Dot's therapy. He's the one who reminds her that she's still a dog. They eat their meals together. They smell things in the yard together. Occasional they even sleep together on the floor, although Dash still prefers to sleep in our bed. I think Dot might have given up months ago, without Dash around to keep her stimulated.

I really hope that Dash can make a full recovery. He's too young to spend the rest of his life with a debilitating disease. It would also be incredibly difficult to have two dogs who couldn't stand up and walk on their own. The thought of having to get Dash fitted for a Help 'Em Up Harness and support his rear legs while I was doing the same thing for Dot boggles my mind. I have a hard enough time getting through the day with one disabled dog. I'm going to be optimistic though. Dash has a fantastic doctor and he is definitely making progress.

I went to breakfast much later than usual this morning and was surprised to see that the restaurant was packed. Apparently the place is a hangout for slackers. I usually arrive around 7 AM and thought the half dozen customers I saw were the only ones who shared my love for the place. At 9:30 AM it's an entirely different story. I had trouble even finding a seat today.

I guess I was kind of a slacker myself today. I didn't do anything very productive. My iPhone case had a crack in it after I dropped the phone last month, so I attempted to fix it. I was able to successfully repair the case with Superglue without gluing my fingers together. Yay. Successful Superglue repairs are a rarity in this house.  I almost always manage to spill some of the nasty stuff on my skin.

The REI store gave me a gift card the last time I bought something there. The catch was that I had to use it before February 4. I stopped by the store on the way to visit Dash and got a clever little camping lantern that doubles as a USB charger for your phone or tablet. I don't know why I am so attracted to camping gear, since I have never been fond of camping. Maybe I just want to be well prepared for the apocalypse.

Casey is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2607

Poor Dash. He had a massive cluster of seizures last night that quickly became a medical emergency. By the time I was able to get him to the vet, he was unable to walk. We debated whether to drive him to an emergency vet while he was having a seizure last night, or try and keep him as calm as possible and take him to his regular vet when they opened the next morning. Since each seizure seemed a little less severe than the previous one, we decided to wait. Eventually, the seizures subsided. Dash went to sleep and started breathing calmly again. We didn't discover that he was unable to walk until the next morning.

I carried Dash into the veterinary clinic at 7 AM this morning, hoping that the doctors could quickly stabilize his condition. It wasn't meant to be. It quickly became obvious that he needed to see a specialist. It wasn't clear at all that he was having an epileptic seizure. He could have had a stroke, be suffering from a brain tumor, have vestibular disease, or even have encephalitis. It is not easy to diagnose any of these conditions. You have to go through a process of elimination, evaluating for the most likely condition first, and then go on to the next condition if the tests aren't conclusive. To figure out what was going on, Dash needed a brain scan. There was a chance that he would need a spinal tap as well. I could take him to the regional neurology center 35 miles north of us and get an MRI tomorrow morning, or take him to the cancer center and get a CAT scan today. The second option seemed better, even though an MRI provides a superior image of the brain. Dash is well known at the cancer center and he would be seeing doctors who are very familiar with his condition.

I think I made the right decision. The oncologists and internal medicine specialists at the cancer center are among the best in the country. Whenever I take one of my dogs to this place I see people in the lobby who have traveled with their dogs from Oklahoma, Louisiana, Arkansas, and even further to see one of these doctors. We are very lucky to have some of the best specialty care for dogs in the entire country right here in Dallas.

So far, so good. The initial CAT scan showed that there were no lesions or tumors in his brain. It doesn't look like there is an inner ear infection either. Since Dash is not showing symptoms usually associated with Encephalitis, his doctors think it is likely that he has idiopathic vestibular disease. This condition is often called old dog vestibular syndrome, for obvious reasons. Young dogs rarely have these problems. Dash is spending the night at the cancer center's ICU, receiving steroids and anti-nausea medication in an IV drip to reduce the inflammation in his brain and help control the severe nausea that makes it difficult for him to stand. Hopefully, we will see some improvement in his condition when we check with his medical team in the morning.

Keep in mind that while all this is going on, Dot is still sitting at home, unable to do much of anything. I spent the day going back and forth, trying my best to monitor the condition of both dogs. It has been a very long day. Janet and I got virtually no sleep last night. Trying to arrange for emergency care and sophisticated imaging in a city full of sick dogs wasn't easy either. As bad as Dash's condition was, there were other dogs with even worse problems. While I was at Dash's regular vet this morning, a family came in carrying a dog that had just been run over by a car. They were all crying. The injured dog was their family pet. Even though the vets tried their best to save it, the dog died on the operating table. Later at the cancer center, I visited with people who had driven their dogs over 500 miles just to see the oncologist. One lady told me she made this long trip every single week.

We made it through the day. Dot is resting now. I hope Dash is resting too. Life is definitely full of surprises. I never dreamed that I would wake up one morning and find that Dot was the healthy dog. With all her incontinence problems and severe mobility issues, Dot is still in better shape than Dash right now. I don't know what will happen tomorrow, but I will go to bed tonight knowing that I did the best that I could today.

Jasper is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2559

Why do car problems always take place at the worst possible time? When I got in the car to go to breakfast this morning, I got a big surprise. I pressed the starter button and nothing happened. The engine didn't turn over at all. I immediately knew that this was going to be a bad day. Dot had an appointment with her oncologist today and it can take months to get an appointment with this woman. I definitely didn't want to cancel. There were several other appointments today as well, but Dot's visit to the cancer center was the big one.

When I talked with my service guy, he seemed fairly convinced that it was just a bad battery. He sent a technician over to the house to see if he could get the car started. If we could get the car moving, I could drive up to the dealer and get a new battery installed. I called the cancer center and they were nice enough to reschedule my appointment for later in the day. I rescheduled or canceled my other appointments as well and started to think that this day might have a happy ending anyway.

While I was at the Land Rover dealer, I got a call from UPS and they said they had found my package. This was good news too, but I wasn't sure if I'd have time to drive down to the service center today. Dot's appointments at the cancer center often take a very long time. Walk in emergencies at the dealership often take a long time too. It was a busy, hectic Friday and they had to work me in. Eventually, they discovered that the battery was the only real problem, so I bought a new battery and was on my way.

When I got home, I resumed cleaning the rugs that Dot had peed on when I was trying to get her out of the house this morning. Everything has to be just right if I have any chance of getting her outside without an accident. Last night she peed too early. She really needs to pee at 11 PM, and last night she seemed to think that 9 PM was a better time. I wish I could explain to her that she just can't hold it that long.

I thought I'd have time to run down to the UPS service center and pick up my package before taking Dot to her appointment, but a major accident along the way foiled my plan. I saw four fire trucks and two ambulances, although I wasn't close enough to see what actually happened. The road was blocked in both directions. After waiting about ten minutes, I gave up and drove over the median so I could exit the mess and get out of the traffic jam. This was a very bad wreck, but I didn't see much compassion on the faces of the other drivers. You could tell that like me, they just wished the fire trucks had pulled over to the side of the road.

I used my GPS to find an alternate route to the UPS service center and when I got back home again, I was only ten minutes late. I quickly packed Dot in the car and we were on our way. Dot doesn't travel well these days. I dread driving with her, because she often panics and tries to escape. Since she can't move very well, her struggles usually result in her getting stuck somewhere. I try to drive in the far right lane, so I can always get off the road quickly if necessary. I'm worried that someday she'll accidentally manage to unlock one of the car doors while we are moving.

There was good news and bad news at the exam. Dot has a new tumor in her liver, but like the other existing tumors, it appears to be growing very slowly. Her liver still functions normally. Most of her blood chemistry looked good, but the doctor was worried that the muscle atrophy in her left rear leg was getting worse. She said we need to keep Dot moving and encouraged me to continue our slow walks each day.

The day was very hectic, but I guess it wasn't that bad after all. My car works, Dot's oncologist said that Dot is good to go for at least another two months, I finally have my package, and all the soiled rugs are clean and back on the floor again. I still have a bad cold, but maybe I can get some rest this weekend.

Hannah is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2495

I carefully filled the new garbage can today and took it out to the curb. I did my best to make sure that each black trash bag wasn't too heavy or too full. If the truck still fails to empty my trash tomorrow morning, I'm going to conclude that someone is fucking with me. I know there are probably better things to do than fret about my trash, but it beats fretting about whether Dot's poop is too hard or too soft, or wondering why the bananas for my smoothie aren't ripening faster.

I've got a lot of questions for Dot's oncologist tomorrow when we go to the cancer center for another ultrasound scan and recheck. Dot seems to be getting weaker, but the problems don't appear to be related to her cancer. There are just too many things going on at once. The liver cancer is still there and probably contributes to how tired she is at times, but the real problems are with her legs. The neurological damage in her rear legs has caused her to compensate and transfer more weight to her front legs. Now her front legs go out occasionally and I have to be real careful and try to provide some support for all four legs when I take her outside. Today, she slipped and cut her nose when she fell on a stick on the ground. The cut was minor, but it reminded me of just how fragile she's become.

Janet had to work late tonight, so I had to walk Dot on my own. Even simple things like trying to lock the back door while holding Dot upright seemed problematic. I need two leashes to walk her now: one for the front legs and another for the back legs. There are so many strings that it probably appears like Dot is a marionette as we slowly walk down the street. Without Dash to guide her, Dot's pace was even slower than usual. We inched along making our way down the alley behind our house. Eventually she pooped when a neighbor dog got her barking. Sometimes barking does the trick when nothing else works.

The Jewish holidays have sidelined one of my clients for a while, but I don't know what has happened to the others. It was completely silent today. No e-mails. No phone calls. Nothing. This never used to happen. I guess I better get used to it. It's a collaborative world these days and my lone wolf style of working has gone out of fashion. I used to think it might be fun to go back and work for a large agency again sometime. No one would hire me now. Even if age weren't an issue, I don't seem to play well with others.

I really hope I don't have to load the car up with garbage tomorrow and look for a dumpster again. It kind of spoils my Friday breakfast ritual. Life has become very stressful and I need a couple of hours each week to eat something tasty while I pretend I'm taking a break at roadside cafe in rural Wyoming. Wyoming sounds real nice right now.

Puppies are today's Dalmatians of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2468

We got some bad news today. After six months of remaining stable, one of the tumors in Dot's liver has started to grow again. There is also a new small cyst in her spleen. None of this is very surprising, but it is discouraging. This is what cancer does. It progresses erratically, often staying in remission for long periods of time, only to reappear again later. Dot's oncologist said she wasn't alarmed by the rate the cancer was advancing. There's not much we can do anyway. Palladia pills aren't the only type of chemotherapy available, but they are less invasive and have fewer side effects than the other alternatives. The oncologist doesn't recommend chemotherapy for an incontinent dog anyway, because the poop becomes toxic. That's all I need right now is poison poop.

I went back to the hipster restaurant this morning. One thing about this place is that the people who eat there seem happier than at other restaurants.  It gives the place an authenticity that is hard to explain, but easy to acknowledge. Even though I don't belong here, I kind of feel like I belong. The food is good too. If these guys would just start serving their meals on real plates and quit using plastic silverware, I'd be a happy camper.

It's always kind of sad sitting in the lobby at the cancer center. We had a long wait today because the dog that was getting an Ultrasound scan ahead of us was having difficulty coming out of anesthesia. While I waited, I talked with some of the other people about their dogs. There is always someone who is visiting for the first time and is very nervous. There is usually someone else who has a dog that has been a patient even longer than Dot. There was a mother and daughter who were crying because they'd just learned that their dog had leukemia. I wanted to tell them that their dog would probably survive and that it would get easier after they'd been coming here for two or three years. I don't know whether that would have helped though. The relentless nature of cancer is what makes it so hard.

It's just as well that I didn't have much work today, since these vet appointments keep taking longer and longer. Well, I felt that way until I got my Visa bill later in the day. Then I wished I had a lot more work. I made a few minor website revisions, but that was about it. It's hard to get used to my new daily routine. Without deadlines to meet and meetings to attend, there isn't a lot of activity. I've had to trade efficiency for patience. Taking care of Dot requires lots and lots of patience.

The city picked up my trash this morning. That's always a good start to the weekend. I'm hoping that Dot continues to recover from her fall. She was walking a little steadier today, but she still has a ways to go. Probably lots of rest would do us all some good tomorrow.

Phantom is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2391

Vet appointments are taking longer and longer. A procedure that used to take thirty to forty-five minutes took us three hours today. Part of the problem was that it was a holiday weekend and a lot of people needed to have their dogs examined before the cancer center closed for the Fourth of July. The other problem was that the technicians wanted to wait until Dot calmed down before taking her blood pressure. She never did calm down. I can't complain though. Every time I spend any time in the cancer center lobby, I meet other people who have traveled for hours, just so their dogs can see one of the center's oncologists. I met someone who drove all the way from Louisiana today for their appointment. I only had to spend fifteen minutes on the road. You meet the nicest people at a specialty veterinary clinic. These people make all sorts of personal sacrifices so their pets can get the care they need. I admire these people. We trade stories about dealing with cancer while we wait for our turn with the oncologist. It's kind of humbling. I realize quickly that the problems I'm having with Dot's incontinence and neurological issues are minor compared to what others are dealing with. We try to give each other encouragement, but cancer can be a tough adversary.

I don't know why I returned to my original breakfast restaurant this morning. I thought I was over that place. I guess I was hoping that it would rise like a Phoenix and return to its former glory. Nope. I think they are going to survive, but it's not the same place anymore. I've ordered each item on the menu so many times that I can tell they are cutting corners now. Instead of cubing fresh potatoes and making their own hash browns, they appear to be buying a prepared, frozen product from a food service provider. The sauces taste a bit different. I don't recognize any of the staff anymore. I think they've got a new chef too. Don't get me wrong. The food isn't bad, but it's not something you'd get addicted to like I did before. I'm not sure if I'll be back again.

I tried to get a head start on the weekend chores by mowing the grass today. When I was mowing the front lawn, I noticed some tire tracks in the yard. Probably some drunk driver jumped the curb again and plowed through the yard after the bars closed. This used to happen with alarming regularity, until the city finally installed some warning signs just before a gentle curve in the road about 300 yards away. People would fall asleep at the wheel and miss the turn, sending their car on a trajectory that sent them straight through our yard. The damage was minor this time, but there have been some serious accidents in the past. Once, a car hit our neighbor's house. Another time, a car drove straight into a tree.

If you have a dog that is frightened of fireworks, I sympathize. The Fourth of July isn't a holiday that a lot of dog owners look forward to. Dot used to be terrified of fireworks, but they aren't much of a problem anymore since she's almost deaf now. We haven't gone out and watched a fireworks show for a long time. The noise doesn't bother me, but the mosquitoes and chiggers do. Why anyone would want to sit outside getting bitten by mosquitoes while watching some minor explosions off in the distance is beyond me.

The year is half over. The dogs had their monthly heartworm pill this morning. I'll need to get my car safety inspected soon. I hope this month is uneventful with no financial surprises. Some cooler weather would be nice too. Dot is having a tough time with this heat.

Bentley is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day