Day 3154

I spent some time talking with auction houses today. I've got to finish consigning things before I totally lose interest in this downsizing venture. I wish I'd methodically inventoried everything when I was younger. It would make life a little easier if I actually knew what I had. It's probably just as well that my younger self wasn't this obsessive. I'm obsessive enough as it is. Maybe I will regain my enthusiasm if the first batch of auctions go well. Right now, downsizing seems very tiring.

The weather hasn't gotten much better. The sound of raindrops on the roof woke me up again last night. The showers were sporadic today, but it's still pretty dark and dismal outside. I'm amazed that I've still been able to give Dash a walk every day. I don't know how I survived before I had weather radar on my phone. We go outside when it's dry and stay inside when it's wet. Usually it works out pretty well.

I had to pick up some meds for Dash at the vet this morning, but that was the extent of my travels. I really don't put many miles on the car anymore. According to my Fitbit, I walk about as much in any given week as I drive. I drive so little now that I wonder if I'd save on car insurance if I put one of those little tracking devices the insurance companies are pushing in my car. I hate the idea of being tracked by an insurance company, but anyone who uses less than a quarter of a tank of gas a week is bound to get a discount.

I wish someone could explain to me what is is going on in Dash's head. It's easy to say he's becoming senile, but I'd like to know exactly what is going on. I'm not sure there's much we could do at this point, but it's sad to see him so disoriented. He'll stand at the back door forever before making a decision to go outside and pee. Sometimes he'll aimlessly walk in circles while we're at the park, and occasionally he seems to get lost in the house. There are still plenty of times when Dash seems completely lucid, but the moments when he appears totally out of it can be pretty scary.

I have a meeting scheduled with my financial advisor tomorrow. I used to be very interested in the stock market and we would have some lively discussions. Not anymore. I've done the best I can to prepare for the future, but the future seems to be growing more uncertain every day. It would be a miracle if I have thirty years left. Sometimes I think it would be even more of a miracle if civilization has thirty years left. There are way too many potential disasters on the horizon.

The one good thing about aging is that the older you get, the less impending doom matters. Hey, I'm already a survivor. I could be wrong too. Maybe the glass is actually half full. I could be more optimistic, but it would be even better to be more like Dash. I doubt that he spends a lot of time thinking about the future. For a dog, the future is always tomorrow morning.

Emma is today's Dalmatian of the Day

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