Day 3324

Sometimes I turn on the news and I feel like I'm living inside a dystopian science fiction novel. It was colder in Chicago today than it was in Antarctica. Is that even possible? Chicago shouldn't be that cold. When I was young I once thought about taking an ad agency job in Chicago. I visited the place in January and all it took was a brief walk down Michigan Avenue to convince me that Chicago was far too cold for me. I wasn't dealing with a polar vortex. I just wasn't wearing a warm enough jacket. I decided then and there that I was meant to live down South.

As far as I'm concerned, Dallas winters are bad enough. I wear my warmest clothes when we take our morning walks. Even though it is running fine, I always worry that the furnace is going to break on a cold winter evening. I worry about frozen pipes too. It seldom gets cold enough for the pipes to freeze, but it has happened. The lake behind our house completely froze over once as well. The fact that there is no ice on the lake at all this Winter just shows that I am getting older and the planet is getting warmer. I doubt that the lake will ever freeze again. It hardly even snows anymore.

It's gotten to the point where I need to make sure exactly where Dash is and what he is doing before I let him out of my sight. He falls so easily now that it's easy for him to get in trouble. I make sure he is gated in a safe place before I take a shower and try not to leave the house unless he is sleeping. Dash's naps last for hours at a time, so it is usually safe to run errands while he is asleep.

I don't even worry about poop anymore. As those old bumper stickers used to say: shit happens. I do wish that Dash would work on his timing. He inevitably poops in the house right when I'm starting to relax with my first cup of coffee. I always jump up immediately and clean things up. I've learned from experience that if I don't act fast, Dash will step in the poop and track the mess all over the house. Also, I enjoy the smell of coffee in the morning. I can't say the same for the smell of poop.

I wrote a letter to a sick friend today and realized that I have no natural empathy at all. I kept having to rewrite portions of the letter when I noticed that I was just making sarcastic comments about the unfairness of life instead of being warm and sympathetic. By the time I sealed the envelope I think I got things right, but it didn't come naturally.

Aging doesn't seem to come naturally either. They say you're officially old when you start having trouble putting on your socks or clipping your toenails. I think the moment has arrived. I feel like a rusty old machine this Winter. Maybe when the weather warms up, I'll feel younger.

Malcolm is today's Dalmatian of the Day

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