Day 1892

The days are starting to run together. I get up at 4 AM to take Dot out to pee. I go back to sleep again for a few hours. I walk Dash. Janet and I figure out a schedule for who is going to monitor Dot during the day. I do some writing. I work on a few websites. I take a shower. I worry about Dot some more. Now, what day is it today?

During one of the periods where it was Janet's turn to watch Dot, I went to the storage warehouse to look for my Anton Bauer Quad charger. I couldn't find it anywhere. Did I throw the charger away years ago because it was defective? Is it really at home somewhere? Is it hidden away behind a cardboard box in the storeroom somewhere? I don't have a clue. What is the use of having a storage warehouse if I can't find anything anymore?

On my way home, I stopped at the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. I was surprised to see that the price had doubled. "Has my coverage changed," I asked the pharmacist? It was a legitimate question, since insurance coverage is constantly changing. "No, your coverage is the same," the pharmacist said. "We just raised our prices."

I finished my component of the new business proposal that my friend and I are working on. He thought it looked good, but wondered whether we could deliver something so ambitious. I think this is doable, but we'll never know till we try. If we get this business, I'll be even busier than I am now. A lot busier. Busy is good though. At least I won't worry about vet bills so much. It's amazing how much better I've become as a writer since I've been forced to totally depend on this skill for a living. What I accomplish in an hour these days used to take me an entire day at the ad agencies. That being said, I had a lot more fun as a young ad agency creative. Work has been more of a chore than an adventure lately. That's what I like about this new proposal. If we get this gig, it is entirely possible that the adventure may return.

When my vet came over this afternoon to give Dot acupuncture and cold laser therapy, I asked her what she would do about surgery if Dot was her dog. "I'd probably go for it," she said, and then quickly added, "but only because I'm a vet." I wanted to ask "But what would you do if you were me," but of course she isn't me. This is a very rough surgery for a dog as old as Dot, and I don't have the knowledge or the resources that a good vet has. When she's having a good day I want to leave Dot alone. If she's only got a year left anyway, why make six months of that year an arduous recovery from major surgery? When Dot is having a bad day, I want to pull out all the stops and do everything possible. I need to remember that this go for broke attitude doesn't always work.

I still regret trying to intervene when we discovered Greta had liver cancer. The surgeon was very good, but the cancer had already metastasized and Greta was too old and weak to survive. She never even made it out of the hospital. Spot's second TPLO surgery was a mistake. The surgery on his left knew was so successful that we thought it would succeed equally well on the other knee when he tore a second anterior cruciate ligament. The second surgery failed. Spot was a lot older by then and even though the surgery was technically a success, Spot never walked again. It's hard to forget these things, even though many other surgeries succeeded brilliantly.

Janet is going to stay with Dot tomorrow morning so I can go enjoy my favorite breakfast. She goes to the gym almost every day now to stay sane. I depend on a great breakfast at least once a week.

Spot is today's Dalmatian of the Day

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