Day 2681

There's nothing kind or convenient about death. I went to bed last night trying to prepare myself for the inevitable, but Dot woke up this morning with other ideas. She wanted a walk. Dot seemed in surprisingly good spirits for a dog that is losing weight at an alarming rate and has extreme difficulty eating. We let Dot rest instead of trying to get her up this morning. Janet walked Dash before she left for work and I stayed behind to watch over Dot. It wasn't long before she raised her head and gave me the sign that she needed to pee. After taking her outside I sat on the floor with her and tried to feed her tiny pieces of boiled chicken and cheeseburger. Eventually she managed to eat one third of a chicken breast and about a quarter of a cheeseburger without the bun. I had to pen Dash in the back of the house because it was driving him wild to see me hand feeding Dot the cheeseburger.

Dot seemed tired after what seemed like a monumental effort to keep from starving. She was hungry. When Dot went back to sleep, I ate my own breakfast. Before I finished, I heard her barking. She still wanted a walk. We made our way ever so slowly to the park and spent about twenty minutes sitting in the grass. Dot was alert and enjoyed the windy day and the surprisingly cool weather.

It's so sad that Dot really wants to continue, but her body won't let her. She doesn't have long, but she definitely wasn't ready to go today. How can you put a dog down who is eager to go on a walk? I worry that she isn't getting enough nutrition. The list of things she will try to eat keeps getting smaller. This morning she was willing to eat the burger and boiled chicken. This afternoon, she had no interest in meat. The only thing she would eat for the rest of the day were her favorite dog treats and a small amount of kibble.

I can't hide Dot's pills in anything now. She chews thing for so long that the pills inevitably fall out of whatever we've hidden them in and as soon as she bites into one, the bad taste stops her from eating anything else. Dot hates people messing with her mouth and even when she was healthy, she resisted being pilled. Unfortunately, that's the only way to get a pill down her now. I try to open her mouth and put the pill down her throat as quickly as I can and then follow it with something tasty to keep her chewing and swallowing. I know I'm going to get bit pretty soon.

A vet I've known for decades called me this evening to offer some moral support. The call mean a lot. There's not much more that doctors can do for Dot at this point, but I appreciated another opinion about how to handle these final days. We talked about the many dogs we have known and loved over the years and how hard it is to say goodbye. I felt a little better knowing that her clinic was nearby and that they would be expecting me if I had to call this weekend.

I wonder if this morning's walk was Dot's last? She didn't feel like walking this evening. We did finally manage to get Dot to take her evening meds, but it was a struggle. I have no idea what to expect tomorrow.

Bowser is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day