Day 4263

The surgery team gets up early. By 7:30 AM they had me wheeled down to the surgical suite. First they took me to a waiting room where a variety of people came in and introduced themselves. Then I went to anesthesia prep, where various tubes were prepared and inserted. Finally, I was wheeled to the operating room itself. The room was big and very bright. There were four large very bright movable lights on the ceiling and lots of sophisticated looking machines. It looked serious. Everyone was very nice and surprisingly casual. I guess it was just another day at the office for these guys.

I got into a conversation with one of the anesthesia techs about the food I would have to give up after having may gallbladder removed. The tech said she loved nuts too, but loves chips even more. This started a general conversation about munchies, and pretty soon the anesthesia team started talking about how they hoped Texas would legalize marijuana soon. Jeez. I was about the be anesthetized by a bunch of stoners. No criticism here. These kids were young, but they were all very professional. When the head anesthesiologist entered the room they all got very serious and quickly quit talking about munchies.

Being anesthetized is weird. You talk to people about what's about to happen, they put you to sleep, and then it seems like you wake up an instant later and it's all over. Pain medicine is so good now that you feel no pain at all. The surgeon told me that if the procedure went well I would have four very small incisions on my belly. If there were complications, there would be one very large incision that stretched across my belly. When I woke up there were four very small incisions and I was happy. This type of surgery is done using a procedure called laparoscopic cholecystectomy. A small camera is inserted through one incision. Instruments that cut the gallbladder from the body are inserted through a second incision. The gallbladder is pulled out through a third slightly larger incision near the belly button. I have no idea what the fourth incision is for. All my surgeons have been women. I've heard that this is because they are generally more dexterous with the very delicate instruments that are used for laparoscopic surgery. The surgery evidently went perfectly. I feel about the same as I do after a strenuous day at the gym. There is a tightness in my belly that feels like I've done a hundred crunches, but that's about all.

Everybody here has been extremely nice and very professional. I still believe Baylor is the best hospital in Dallas. I changed my primary care physical several years ago to make sure that all my doctors were in the Baylor system and have never regretted my decision. I still hate going to the hospital and think most doctors over prescribe prescription medicine, but you've got to take care of yourself.

Hopefully, I will be out of here tomorrow. Basically being in a hospital for a long time is like being in a very nice prison. You do what they tell you. You eat what they tell you. You take lots of pills that you know in your heart are very dubious value. I take the pills though. I tend to trust the experts. I actually like talking to doctors. They are very smart and most lead interesting lives. Doctors are much nicer than advertising executives and not as arrogant as airline pilots. My little room is actually quite peaceful. I don't like being hooked up to tubes, but I'm getting used to it. Hospital beds are fabulous. I wish I could take one home with me because you can easily move them to a comfortable sleeping position without monkeying around with a bunch of pillows.

I've heard they won't release me tomorrow until I poop. That might be a problem. So far I'm feeling pretty good. Things go wrong as you grow older, but I'm trying my best to keep my ailments to a minimum.

Dot is today's Dalmatian of the Day

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