Day 4263

The surgery team gets up early. By 7:30 AM they had me wheeled down to the surgical suite. First they took me to a waiting room where a variety of people came in and introduced themselves. Then I went to anesthesia prep, where various tubes were prepared and inserted. Finally, I was wheeled to the operating room itself. The room was big and very bright. There were four large very bright movable lights on the ceiling and lots of sophisticated looking machines. It looked serious. Everyone was very nice and surprisingly casual. I guess it was just another day at the office for these guys.

I got into a conversation with one of the anesthesia techs about the food I would have to give up after having may gallbladder removed. The tech said she loved nuts too, but loves chips even more. This started a general conversation about munchies, and pretty soon the anesthesia team started talking about how they hoped Texas would legalize marijuana soon. Jeez. I was about the be anesthetized by a bunch of stoners. No criticism here. These kids were young, but they were all very professional. When the head anesthesiologist entered the room they all got very serious and quickly quit talking about munchies.

Being anesthetized is weird. You talk to people about what's about to happen, they put you to sleep, and then it seems like you wake up an instant later and it's all over. Pain medicine is so good now that you feel no pain at all. The surgeon told me that if the procedure went well I would have four very small incisions on my belly. If there were complications, there would be one very large incision that stretched across my belly. When I woke up there were four very small incisions and I was happy. This type of surgery is done using a procedure called laparoscopic cholecystectomy. A small camera is inserted through one incision. Instruments that cut the gallbladder from the body are inserted through a second incision. The gallbladder is pulled out through a third slightly larger incision near the belly button. I have no idea what the fourth incision is for. All my surgeons have been women. I've heard that this is because they are generally more dexterous with the very delicate instruments that are used for laparoscopic surgery. The surgery evidently went perfectly. I feel about the same as I do after a strenuous day at the gym. There is a tightness in my belly that feels like I've done a hundred crunches, but that's about all.

Everybody here has been extremely nice and very professional. I still believe Baylor is the best hospital in Dallas. I changed my primary care physical several years ago to make sure that all my doctors were in the Baylor system and have never regretted my decision. I still hate going to the hospital and think most doctors over prescribe prescription medicine, but you've got to take care of yourself.

Hopefully, I will be out of here tomorrow. Basically being in a hospital for a long time is like being in a very nice prison. You do what they tell you. You eat what they tell you. You take lots of pills that you know in your heart are very dubious value. I take the pills though. I tend to trust the experts. I actually like talking to doctors. They are very smart and most lead interesting lives. Doctors are much nicer than advertising executives and not as arrogant as airline pilots. My little room is actually quite peaceful. I don't like being hooked up to tubes, but I'm getting used to it. Hospital beds are fabulous. I wish I could take one home with me because you can easily move them to a comfortable sleeping position without monkeying around with a bunch of pillows.

I've heard they won't release me tomorrow until I poop. That might be a problem. So far I'm feeling pretty good. Things go wrong as you grow older, but I'm trying my best to keep my ailments to a minimum.

Dot is today's Dalmatian of the Day

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Day 4262

One down, one to go. I had a procedure today to remove stones from my bile duct and apparently it was successful. The procedure is called endoscopic retrograde cholangiopancreatography and involves passing an endoscope about the thickness of a finger down your throat, through your stomach, and into your intestine where it meets the bile ducts. Special tools are passed through the endoscope to grab and remove the stones. The process has been explained to me several times but it still seems incredibly complicated. The doctors seemed pleased with their results today. Tomorrow they will remove my gallbladder which is the source of these gallstones.

I've asked several doctors why we even have a gallbladder, since it is the most common organ to be removed. Apparently, you can live quite well without a gallbladder. Today I finally found an answer that made sense. The gallbladder only gets called into action when you eat really hard to digest foods. The bile the gallbladder produces breaks these foods down into compounds the body can digest. This is not good news for me. Among the foods that are hardest to digest are nuts and seeds. Jeez. I love nuts. They are my go to snack and I eat them every day. I had no idea that nuts are hard to digest. They are a healthy source of protein and much better to snack on than candy or chips. Oh, well. I guess I'm going to have to change my diet a bit.

I'm getting a much better idea of why medical care is so expensive. Every two hours someone is coming in my room and giving me some kind of test. I've lost track of how many blood tests I've had. Blood pressure and temperature are checked frequently and so are blood sugar levels. Every single time a nurse does something they ask me my name and birthdate and then check to see if if matches the information on my wristband. Sometime they give me little test to make sure I'm not senile. "Do you know where you are," they ask. "Why are you here?" Occasionally is gets ridiculous. "What month is this?" Can you remember what day it is without looking at your watch?" I'm not senile, but apparently the loud deaf lady next door is. I hear the nurses yelling questions to her, and the lady never knows the answers.

I can't figure out whether the hospital is padding the bill, or whether I actually need all this attention. I've never had so many meds in my life. I try to refuse some of the medication because I know from prior experience that it doesn't work on me or that I just don't need it. I wish they wouldn't give me so many pain pills. I"m not in that much pain at the moment. It's hard to get a nurse to change something that is one the schedule though. They follow orders.

I'm a little apprehensive about tomorrow's gallbladder surgery. This is real major surgery. I asked one of the doctors how long the operation takes. "Usually between 45 minutes and 4 hours,"  he told me. Wow. "Isn't that a pretty big range," I asked. "Sometimes there are complications," the doctor said. You always have to sign a ton to disclaimers and forms when you go to a hospital. I never read the fine print, but basically the hospital saying "is it OK is we accidentally kill you?"

I bet I've lost some weight. I haven't had any food today at all. I can't eat tomorrow either since I've got another surgery. A nurse asked me if I'd had a bowel movement today. Nope. Nothing in, nothing out. It's been a long day. You'd think it would be easy to sleep in a hospital since you are just sitting in bed most of the time. It's almost impossible to sleep though. Hospitals run on a 24 hour schedule and nurses think nothing of popping in at 3 AM. The machines I'm hooked up to start beeping a lot and have to be reset. Last night one of these machines had to be reset every two hours.

Pinkey is today's Dalmatian of the Day

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