Day 2883

From the looks of our mailbox, you'd think that Dash was the only one who lives here. This dog gets more mail than I do. In addition to notices and reminders from various vets, Dash receives a steady supply of homemade dog treats. Dash's "Thanksgiving Dinner" came in the mail today. I'll have to admit that it did look pretty good.

Janet finds these things on Facebook. I'm amazed at the number of people who have created a viable business making products specifically for Dalmatians. There's a guy who make dog coats specifically for Dalmatians. He started his business by showing pictures of his coats on Facebook Dalmatian groups and now he gets orders from all around the world. Now, there's a woman who makes dog treats targeted to Dalmatians. She posts a picture of her Dalmatian wearing a chef's outfit every time he is "baking" and the orders pile in. I applaud these strange and wonderful little businesses. They are so specific that you'd think they couldn't possibly work, and yet they do. Maybe Janet could make dog cookies the next time she decides to retire. Her cookies were amazing, but she only made them once a year for the dogs of friends and neighbors. I still remember delivering them around Christmas time while I was walking Spot. This seems like thirty years ago, because it probably was.

Dash seems so much better than he did two months ago. I don't know if his health has really improved, but he definitely seems happier. I think he decided that if he was on the verge of death, he was going to start living life his way. He didn't want to walk when it was convenient for me. He wanted to walk when he felt like it. He was tired of eating kibble and convinced us that he really needed cans of super premium Castor and Pollux stews. I don't know why he feels like interrupting my breakfast with a long walk, but it really doesn't hurt anything. I've adapted to this new routine fairly easily. I can see why he got tired of eating kibble. I don't think I would enjoy living on healthy crackers.

I hope some of the changes we've made are actually doing some good. Dash is definitely spoiled now, but he doesn't seem as anxious now and his stress levels are much lower. He even stands still and lets me put on his rubber boots before we walk now. I think he's finally learned that it feels better to walk while wearing these protective shoes. Almost every day, people stop us on our walks to ask about the boots and knee brace. I've told the story so many times that the manufacturer should give me a discount.

The heavily modified boots are clever and comfortable. I could probably sell these on Facebook if I could ever figure out how to manufacture them myself. Manufacturing almost anything is much more complicated than it seems. The big problem with dog boots is that they have to fit exactly to be effective. Every dog's paws are different. They have to be soft and easy to put on, while remaining tough enough to stand up to sidewalks and asphalt roads. My design is improving each time a make a modification, but I don't think this will ever be a commercial product. I've spent way too much time on these things.

We have an early appointment at the cancer center tomorrow for another echocardiogram. We'll probably do these monthly tests indefinitely. I keep hoping that one of these days we'll see that the blood clots in Dash's heart are getting smaller.

Honey is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2843

When I noticed Dash heading for the back door this morning, I rushed to get him ready for his walk. It's all a matter of timing. If I can catch him when he needs to pee, it's pretty easy to get him out the back door and headed toward the park. It's too bad I can't get his knee brace fitted and his boots on a little quicker. Sometimes he's out of the mood before I can get him ready. Today I was pretty fast and Dash was still eager to take a walk. In my haste today, I forgot my watch and my phone. In today's world I hate to be without a phone. It's not like I'm eager to talk to anyone, but its nice to always have the ability to call 911 if the need arises.

I almost didn't go out to breakfast this morning, but I knew that the day would just seem longer if I stayed at home. Going out for breakfast on Friday doesn't seem as interesting anymore. It's amazing that I was able to find a place that I liked for almost three years. Now I rarely go to the same restaurant twice. I anticipate going out to breakfast and then I am disappointed by it. I have a feeling that I'm just not as interested in eating anymore. It's not just breakfast. I'm not that interested in dinner either.

I'm glad that Dash still seems interested in eating. He's still picky and won't eat dry food in the morning, but he seems to love the Castor and Pollux Venison recipe. This brand gets good reviews but I think it might have too much protein for Dash. He needs to be on a low protein diet so he won't get urinary and kidney stones. We'll worry about these details later. The important thing now it to just keep him eating something reasonably healthy until we can get his heart issues resolved.

I've got to figure out how to rekindle my interest in the world. I'm not interested in anything these days. When work kept me busy, I didn't have time to wonder what I was interested in. Now, I've got plenty of time and not much desire. I have little desire to travel. I don't feel like going to movies. I rarely pick up a book. I haven't had a gallery show in years, I don't write songs anymore, and I don't even play the guitar very much. This can't be good. I keep feeling that this is temporary, but then months go by and I still feel the same way.

I need to start using my time to straighten out the mess in the storage warehouse and begin making some substantial repairs to the house. The trouble with doing physical things like this is I get tired a lot more easily than I used to. Unfortunately, if I wait another year to face these realities, the job will become even harder. The time to start downsizing is now. The only good thing about my lack of desire is that I've lost the desire to collect things too. At least I'm not accumulating stuff anymore.

I still care about Janet and I still care about Dash. Perhaps it it good that I've lost most of my youthful obsessions. Dash is certainly going to keep me busy in the day to come.

Cassie is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2704

There are good days and there are bad days. Dot had trouble eating again today. For some inexplicable reason, all the progress we'd made this week was gone. I could tell she was hungry, but when she attempted to chew something, it just fell out of her mouth. I really tried to interest her in food, but all she ate was a little broth from a can of the Ultramix chicken and potato stew, a few crackers, and the cheese I gave her with her pills. She wouldn't even eat the turkey slices today. This has happened before, but it is always discouraging. Maybe Dot's appetite will return when it's time for her evening pills in about an hour, but at this point it doesn't look hopeful.

When I wasn't trying to feed Dot, I ran my normal Saturday errands. I got a garden hose at Home Depot so I could wash my car again. I threw away the old hose last month after it developed a leak, but never got around to replacing it. I filled the car with gas. I must have really been out and about last week. I used four gallons of gas instead of the three I used the previous week. I've been buying bulk items like paper towels and laundry detergent at Sam's Club for many years. The items never change, but the prices have almost doubled in the past decade. I don't get it when people talk about how low inflation is. I'm not an economist, but when prices for almost everything you use have doubled, that's inflation to me.

I washed the car and did a little yard work while Dot was sleeping. It was so disheartening that I couldn't get Dot to eat today. I've gotten used to her appetite kicking in late in the day, but it just didn't happen. I always look for a rational explanation to everything, but sometimes there just isn't one. Advanced age has its own set of rules. If you're looking for logic and order, you probably won't find it in the aging process. Things just fall apart and not always in the ways you might expect.

Maybe Dot will wake up hungry and start eating again tomorrow morning. I hope so. I can't force feed her though. When she has no desire to eat for any length of time, I have to realize that she is telling me it is time to go. I'm going to remain optimistic though.  Dot is resting calmly now and doesn't appear to be in any distress. She took a nice walk today. I just need to keep her eating.

This is one of those days where midnight is rapidly approaching and I'm not even close to being ready for bed myself. I have a feeling that I have more to say, but it will have to wait until tomorrow.

Harley is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2685

I've decided that you can't schedule death. It's not right. I canceled the appointment for 5 PM today and the tentative one for 10 AM tomorrow. I'm going to quit calling the vet to make an appointment for Dot and then canceling it the next day. When the time does arrive, I'll do something. For now I'm going to concentrate on keeping Dot alive.

Amazingly, Dot seems a little stronger today than she did yesterday. She tried to eat the same food for two days in a row. By the end of the day, she'd eaten an entire can of the tasty stew we introduced her to yesterday. She should be eating twice as much, but this is real progress. The food is nutritious. Dot likes it. And she's not throwing up.

I think I've entered a new phase in my life. For lack of a better term, I'll call it extreme hospice care. I spent most of the day trying to get Dot to eat, but it was very gratifying when she did. We've been so close to giving up at several points. Figuring out what works and what doesn't has been a learning experience for all of us.

We've gotten better at managing the cancer pain. Dot sleeps better now and no longer sits in her bed panting in the evening. I've become much better at administering her pills. I wrap each pill in a small ball of cheddar cheese so there won't be a bad taste when I put them down her throat. Dot has finally learned to trust me and doesn't try to bite when I open her mouth to pill her. This has taken time and patience, but it makes a huge difference. Following each pill with something tasty to keep her swallowing helps too.

I've abandoned the traditional breakfast, lunch, and dinner and feed her smaller amounts throughout the day. I cut her food into very small pieces so she won't choke on it. We keep the house very cold now and only walk her during the coolest parts of the day. We don't use the fancy wheelchair as much as I thought we would, mostly because Dot likes to sit down and rest at several points during the short walk. Everything is a learning process. I need to pay more attention to Dash as well, so her doesn't get jealous. He has already noticed that I spend a lot more time feeding Dot than him. Dash wants the special food too.

I was very encouraged today. This was the first time in a week where there wasn't a period during the day when I thought Dot was going to die. I'm going to ask the oncologist if regular B-12 shots might help stabilize her anemia. We're definitely not out of the woods with the swallowing problem. Dot still has a lot of difficulty chewing and swallowing. You always hear that dogs lose their interest in food when they are near the end of their life. Dot has not lost her appetite. She is still hungry. She just has a lot of difficulty eating.

I'm still kind of amazed that a chance encounter with a total stranger provided the breakthrough we needed. Doctors have suggested everything from strong medication that would increase her appetite to placing a feeding tube down her esophagus. Vets are so locked into Hills Science Diet products that nobody even mentioned simply changing her food.

Don't expect a full recovery or anything miraculous to happen. This was just one day. It was a good day though. A very good day.

Betsy is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2684

Dot bought herself another day. She was very reluctant to get up this morning and didn't want to eat. When I did get her up and took her outside to pee, she headed straight for the back gate. She wanted a walk. I continue to be amazed at the tenaciousness of this dog. We thought maybe a short walk would stimulate her appetite, so we slowly headed toward the park. Dot smelled the flowers, lay in the grass, and enjoyed herself, but she still wouldn't eat when we got home.

On the way home a lady we often see while walking the dogs stopped me and asked about Dot. She recommended some food that she said her dog loved after he got cancer. I thanked her for the suggestion and then continued on our way home. We were almost back to the house when I saw the lady running to catch up with us. She had a can in her hand.  She stuck the can in my jacket pocket and urged me to try it. I thanked her again, but was kind of baffled. We were well beyond canned dog food solutions.

I was finally able to get Dot interested in some small pieces of sliced ham I had in the refrigerator. This was enough so she could take her morning pain pills, but it wasn't nearly enough to keep her nourished. Usually she goes back to sleep after she eats, but she seemed restless this morning. I thought she needed to pee, but she just kept wandering around in the yard. Keep in mind that she's not really wandering around on her own. I'm holding her up using the harness. After an hour of restless behavior, she threw up.  Although Dot went back to sleep and rested peacefully after this, I was very worried. Dot had probably thrown up the pain pills we had given her earlier in the morning, along with whatever nutrition she'd had in the past 12 hours.

While Dot was sleeping, Janet and I wondered if this was the day. I called the vet again and asked about making an appointment later in the evening. I didn't confirm anything though, because Dot has always snapped back late in the day. On Friday she regained her appetite around 3 PM. Yesterday it was 4 PM. Today she seemed tired and listless until almost 6 PM. Since Dot didn't seem interested in cheese or the sliced ham she had eaten this morning, we opened the can the lady had given me this morning. Castor and Pollux Natural Ultramix the can said. Dot loved it. She was able to swallow the bits of chicken and turkey, and lapped up the chicken broth when I put it in a small saucer in front of her. It took about an hour to hand feed her this mix, but she ended up eating almost three quarters of the can. This was great news, especially since the Ultramix stew is much healthier for her than the cheese, Fritos, and lunch meat we've been experimenting with for the past several days.

So far Dot has not thrown up her tasty meal. She took her second round of pain pills and even wanted an evening walk. I'm really glad that last night's rain brought some much cooler weather with it. Temperatures were in the 40's early this morning. Dot loves cold weather and she really enjoyed her two short walks.

Dot has a strong heart so she probably won't die in her sleep. She has a strong spirit, so she probably won't give up or go quietly. She's still dying though. It's up to us to decide when the time is right. If Dot wants one more walk and is able to eat enough to stay nourished, I'm delighted to give her an extra day. I'd love to give her an extra week.                  

Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day