Day 1893

We have scheduled Dot for surgery. This was and will remain a very tough decision. Dot is an old dog. She doesn't know this however. Her irrepressible spirit has carried her through tough challenges before and I'm hoping it will again. Watching her progress this week, I am convinced that she is determined to walk again. Unfortunately, it doesn't appear that prednisolone alone will ever provide a realistic path to recovery. After a week on the drug, she still can't stand on her own. Prednisolone isn't a long-term solution anyway and we have already had to reduce her dosage to avoid risks and complications. The real problem is that her spinal cord is still compressed and pinched by the herniated disc. Until this pressure is released, there is a real danger that she could damage the cord further, eliminating any chance for recovery.

If Dot could continue to make small improvements day after day until she eventually walked on her own again, I probably wouldn't even consider surgery. Both the neurosurgeon and my regular vet have already told me that this outcome is unlikely. The initial improvements we saw from giving her prednisolone have already slowed and we can't continue using steroids forever. I'm becoming more and more convinced that despite the risk, spinal surgery is the only alternative that will give Dot a realistic opportunity of walking again.

I really hate making decisions like this, but avoiding them is even worse.You've got to be able to make decisions to lead a normal life. I have known some genuinely indecisive people in my life and most of them were miserable. You simply can't stay sane if you are continually second guessing every aspect of your life. I know that Dot wants to walk again. I also know that Janet, Dot and I cannot continue living like this forever. Our current routine is unsustainable. When Dot finally realizes that she can no longer move, she will become depressed and lose her will to keep going. Janet and I will simply burn out at some point. The surgeon told me today that in the best of worlds, Dot could be walking again within two weeks after surgery. In the worst of worlds, recovery could take up to three months. I can live with that. Of course there is always the possibility that the surgery will fail completely. Everyone says this possibility is very small, but you've got to be prepared for it.

I'm glad I had an opportunity to go out and have my special breakfast this morning. The rest of the day was extremely busy and stressful. I spent the day trying to anticipate what Dot was going to do next while I was working on completing my writing assignments and fine tuning the new business presentation my friend and I are working on. There were some website revisions as well, but I haven't even had time to get around to them yet. I wish that Dot preferred sleeping right next to my computer, but she usually doesn't. The petcams work pretty well for monitoring Dot's activity in other rooms, but I have to act fast if I sense that she is going to try to get up on her own. We don't want her to do that! Dot needs to go outside and pee a lot more often now as well. That's one of the side effects of the prednisolone. So far, I am juggling all these activities pretty well, but it is exhausting.

I'm glad that Dot is still happy. That helps a lot. I wish I could sleep all day tomorrow, but I suspect that tomorrow will be exactly like today. They say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. If that's true, I should be pretty strong by Summer.

Odie is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1892

The days are starting to run together. I get up at 4 AM to take Dot out to pee. I go back to sleep again for a few hours. I walk Dash. Janet and I figure out a schedule for who is going to monitor Dot during the day. I do some writing. I work on a few websites. I take a shower. I worry about Dot some more. Now, what day is it today?

During one of the periods where it was Janet's turn to watch Dot, I went to the storage warehouse to look for my Anton Bauer Quad charger. I couldn't find it anywhere. Did I throw the charger away years ago because it was defective? Is it really at home somewhere? Is it hidden away behind a cardboard box in the storeroom somewhere? I don't have a clue. What is the use of having a storage warehouse if I can't find anything anymore?

On my way home, I stopped at the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. I was surprised to see that the price had doubled. "Has my coverage changed," I asked the pharmacist? It was a legitimate question, since insurance coverage is constantly changing. "No, your coverage is the same," the pharmacist said. "We just raised our prices."

I finished my component of the new business proposal that my friend and I are working on. He thought it looked good, but wondered whether we could deliver something so ambitious. I think this is doable, but we'll never know till we try. If we get this business, I'll be even busier than I am now. A lot busier. Busy is good though. At least I won't worry about vet bills so much. It's amazing how much better I've become as a writer since I've been forced to totally depend on this skill for a living. What I accomplish in an hour these days used to take me an entire day at the ad agencies. That being said, I had a lot more fun as a young ad agency creative. Work has been more of a chore than an adventure lately. That's what I like about this new proposal. If we get this gig, it is entirely possible that the adventure may return.

When my vet came over this afternoon to give Dot acupuncture and cold laser therapy, I asked her what she would do about surgery if Dot was her dog. "I'd probably go for it," she said, and then quickly added, "but only because I'm a vet." I wanted to ask "But what would you do if you were me," but of course she isn't me. This is a very rough surgery for a dog as old as Dot, and I don't have the knowledge or the resources that a good vet has. When she's having a good day I want to leave Dot alone. If she's only got a year left anyway, why make six months of that year an arduous recovery from major surgery? When Dot is having a bad day, I want to pull out all the stops and do everything possible. I need to remember that this go for broke attitude doesn't always work.

I still regret trying to intervene when we discovered Greta had liver cancer. The surgeon was very good, but the cancer had already metastasized and Greta was too old and weak to survive. She never even made it out of the hospital. Spot's second TPLO surgery was a mistake. The surgery on his left knew was so successful that we thought it would succeed equally well on the other knee when he tore a second anterior cruciate ligament. The second surgery failed. Spot was a lot older by then and even though the surgery was technically a success, Spot never walked again. It's hard to forget these things, even though many other surgeries succeeded brilliantly.

Janet is going to stay with Dot tomorrow morning so I can go enjoy my favorite breakfast. She goes to the gym almost every day now to stay sane. I depend on a great breakfast at least once a week.

Spot is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1891

I got a call from an old friend this morning, asking if I'd like to work with him on a new business proposal. It was kind of therapeutic to have something to think about other than sick dogs. If we got this business, it would be fun to work on. Almost like old times. I gave my friend an enthusiastic "yes" to his proposal and will begin working on a budget for the project tomorrow.

Janet and I are having a tough time making a decision about spinal surgery for Dot. We have both talked to friends with back problems and some have opted for surgery while others wouldn't even consider it. Spinal surgery is very different from repairing broken bones or removing tumors. Even the surgeons themselves are very guarded about promising a successful outcome. All I know is that sometimes it works and other times it doesn't.

For the moment, Dot seems happy enough. She isn't depressed and doesn't appear to be in much pain. Dot spent a big part of her day sleeping before the injury and she still spends a big part of her day sleeping. She still very enthusiastic about eating her dinner and she can pee and poop relatively normally with my assistance. The only thing she really misses is her morning walk. I can see the disappointment in her face when I take Dash on a walk without her. If I walk Dash, Janet stays behind with Dot. If Janet walks Dash, I stay behind. One of the things I need to ask the neurologist before we make a decision is whether she will ever be able to take a normal walk again, with or without the surgery. Dot loves her walks, and if her walking days are already over, it might be pointless to put her through the trauma of risky major surgery for nothing.

This month's credit card bills took my breath away. The trip to Vandenberg Air Force Base to watch the satellite launch, the recent cancer re-checks and ultrasound imaging for Dot and Dash, along with Dot's recent MRI were all on the same bill. I definitely hope my friend's big new project materializes. One way or another, I'm going to have to step up my game a bit to pay for this stuff.

Dot's vet is terrific. She's going to make another house-call tomorrow to give Dot acupuncture and evaluate her condition. I've seen improvements in Dot's condition every single day, but I don't know whether these small changes will continue or ever be enough. Even with the prednisolone, Dot still can't stand up on her own. The question I have for all vets at one point or another is "what would you do if this was your dog?" Usually they're pretty honest.

All in all, today wasn't bad. Dot and I are working out a routine that gets us through the day. Janet already has a nice job offer on the table from someone she respects. For the past two days I've been able to take care of Dot while still completing my normal workload. Maybe we can get through this after all. It was even relatively warm and sunny today. By the time Dash and I took our evening walk, it was 60 degrees.

Bailey is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1890

The hardest thing about caring for a sick dog is that they don't understand what's going on. Even in her weakened and very compromised condition, Dot still wants to go about her normal life. If I wasn't continually watching her like a hawk, Dot would attempt to drag herself around the house, further damaging her already fragile spinal cord. In situation like this you've got to confine the dog to a small safe space where they can't hurt themselves, while still providing enough attention and activity so they don't become terribly depressed. Since Dot is taking prednisolone, she doesn't even have the luxury of sleeping for long periods of time. The drug makes her drink lots of water and urinate frequently, so she has to go outside and pee every few hours. I have to be prepared to move her with the Help 'Em Up Harness on very short notice. So far, I think I'm doing a pretty good job with all this, but it's exhausting.

During the periods when Dot was sleeping today, I managed to write another new article and submit it to my client. There were also a variety of website management issues that needed to be dealt with along with some client correspondence that needed to be addressed. With my isolated, computer centered work environment, I imagine that my work life will continue pretty much as usual. I will still sit in a small room and stare at a large monitor for long periods of time. I can still do anything that can be accomplished using a keyboard and a phone. I just can't do anything else.

I was hoping the decision that needs to be made about surgery would become easier as I watched Dot's progress. So far, it hasn't. I see small signs of improvement each day, but they are very small. I don't know if it will be weeks or months before her condition becomes significantly better. The main problem is that I don't have months. If the prednisolone isn't effective at reducing the inflammation in her spine enough for Dot to stand on her own again, her paralysis will become permanent.

Dot's vet is going to come over to the house in a few days to evaluate her condition and give her another acupuncture treatment. I'm hoping that she is able to see something I might have missed. It was much easier to make a decision about Dot's abdominal and Dash's thyroid cancer last year. Even though the surgery was risky in both cases, they both had to have it, or they would die. The surgeon was also very confident about his ability to remove the tumors. Spinal surgery is a lot trickier. Removing a foreign object from the spinal cord without damaging the cord itself is a very delicate process and extremely difficult for the best of surgeons. The fact the Dot would have one of the best neurosurgeons in Texas doing the operation still wouldn't give her more than a 60% chance of success.

I've been through this before with other dogs, but I was younger then. I'm incredibly tired right now. I know it's just a matter of time before this crisis joins all the other traumatic moments in my past. Even the healthiest of dogs won't live forever. Janet will probably return to work as soon as this crisis is over. It's a mystery to me why she doesn't enjoy retirement, but it is an equal mystery why dogs don't live longer. Whatever happens, I'll still be here recounting the tiny details of daily life. Dot and Dash might not be able to make it until Day 5000, but I'm determined to hang in there.

Lexi is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1889

If I were starting a blog today I would probably title it What New Kind of Hell Is This instead of Some Assembly Required. The current title is entirely too positive for my present frame of mind. I don't have a lot held in reserve anymore. Small setbacks are starting to bother me much more than they should. Case in point. Our power went out again last night. Actually, we lost power twice. Yes, it rained, but it was only a light rain. So far this year, the power has gone out almost every single time it has rained. You would think the power company could do better than this. Clearly, something in the system needs to be upgraded. We have had notoriously unreliable electric power ever since we moved to this neighborhood, but I think the outages this year are worse than ever.

I was dreading spending the day in a cold house with a sick dog that can barely more. Luckily, the power was restored this morning, the furnace kicked in, and pretty soon we were back to normal. Taking Dot out to pee in the rain was problematic. The ground was wet and slick and I had to be extra careful not to fall myself. On cold days I have to position things around the house so that I'm ready to go when Dot lets me know it's time to pee. Once I'm holding her hips up with the harness, it's hard to turn her around to look for a coat or a missing pair of shoes. I'm trying to remember to leave a pair of easy to slip on shoes sitting by the back door, but half the time they're still in another room when I need them most.

Dot and I are learning to establish the new routines and rituals that will get us through the day. She sleeps a lot anyway, and I've learned that if I'm patient and hold her up while she wanders around aimlessly for a while, she will quickly find a comfortable place to sleep and I can get some work done. It works better if I try to adapt my life to her schedule, rather than the other way around. Since she can't move on her own, I need to make the short amount of time when she still feels like trying to walk as relaxed and comfortable as possible. I've learned how to massage her legs and at least three times a day I manually work her leg muscles in a gentle bicycle motion to help prevent atrophy. When Dot is resting and lying down she actually seems to like this.

The Withings Baby Monitor only covers one room, but I've discovered that I can use the camera in my laptop as a petcam to watch her if she wants to sleep in a different room. I just move the laptop to wherever she happens to be. Despite the unfortunate power outage and my duties as a watchful 24-7 pet nurse, I was able to get quite a bit done today. My big objective was getting a major website update completed. There is a new team responsible for this website now and we are still figuring out the best way to work together. Since I managed to get the updates online, I guess we are doing something right.

I hope the weather warms up and dries out quickly. Rain certainly complicates things. I definitely don't want to get Dot's special harness wet, because she is helpless without it. I am already resigned to the fact that I'll probably have to replace a lot of the landscaping later in the Spring. As I tramp around in my work boots, holding Dot up as she looks for the perfect place to pee, I am destroying the bedding plants and ground cover. This happened once before when I was helping Petey walk during his final year with us. When Spring arrived that year, most of the Asian Jasmine was completely dead. It's easy to re-landscape though. It's going to be a lot harder to get Dot walking again.

Joshua is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1888

How many dogs have a vet who is nice enough to make house-calls? I was delighted this morning when Dot's regular vet called and asked if I'd like her to come to the house so Dot could get an acupuncture treatment today. Acupuncture alone won't get Dot walking again, but it is very effective at releasing endorphins which can reduce stress and alleviate pain. Dot has always enjoyed her acupuncture therapy. It seems to relax her and leave her feeling better for the rest of the day. Even though she had one of her "stranger danger" barking episodes when the vet initially arrived, she quickly relaxed and almost fell asleep as the needles did their work.

I was hoping to hear some encouraging words about Dot's progress, but truthfully any progress so far has been minor and rather subtle. Dot can sometimes move her legs, but the rear legs cannot currently support any weight. I have to hold her legs up using the special harness that she wears almost all the time now. She appears stronger when something excites her. When she saw a car in the alley behind the house this morning, Dot wanted to go investigate like she usually does. She walked all the way to the back fence with me holding her up with the harness. If I hold the special harness just right and encourage her to walk very slowly, she can make somewhat normal walking motions. She attempts to move her rear legs forward too when she pees. I have to supply all the muscle for these efforts though. Unaided, she cannot get up, or walk at all. As soon as she gets a bit tired, she starts dragging her rear legs behind her even when I am holding them up with the harness. It is very discouraging. I've nursed sick dogs back to health before, so I know I have to be very patient. Keeping your expectations low doesn't make the job any easier though. It's easy to get very sad.

Putting Dot's dog bed next to our low platform bed worked out pretty well last night. Dot slept soundly and did not seem disappointed to give up her regular spot in the middle of the bed. Since Dot is taking prednisolone now, she can't make it through the night anymore without getting up to pee. After all we went through to cure her incontinence after the cancer surgery, I'm back to getting up in the middle of the night again. Having her sleep on the floor does make this process a bit easier. I don't have to wake up everybody else and getting her outside in time is pretty easy when she sleeps with her harness on.

Janet went to help with a Dalmatian Rescue event this afternoon, but it was no problem taking care of the dogs by myself. Typically, they just sleep during the day. At first I though that I'd have to have Dot next to me at all times, but I've discovered that I can use the baby monitor to keep an eye on her when I'm in another room. I'm going to have to learn how to manage on my own anyway. Janet hates retirement and I feel like it's just a matter of time before she goes back to work again. She's very good at what she does and people in her field are already trying to tempt her with job offers. I would welcome retirement in her situation, but that's just me. At the rate we're burning through money trying to keep these two dogs healthy, it would probably be good to have two incomes again anyway.

I have lots of vet friends and I often wonder how they handle the stress of seeing sick and dying dogs everyday. Vets have seen everything. My vet was trying to cheer me up this afternoon and she said, "At least Dot doesn't have Degenerative Myelopathy." This is certainly true, but not very comforting. It would be like going to my doctor about shoulder pain and having him say, "Well, at least you've still got a shoulder." I'm a good writer, but I think I'd make a very poor doctor.

I think about surgery vs. no surgery all the time now. Both choices have a reasonable chance of good or terrible outcomes. Basically, it's just a crap shoot.

Lucky is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1887 - Valentines Day

After viewing Dot's MRI scans with the neurologist this morning, it became painfully clear why she is having problems. Several spinal discs were visibly deformed, but one in particular was pressing directly against the normally round spinal cord, squeezing it into a squashed oval shape. There was a tiny shard or fragment from this damaged disk that looked like it was poking into the spinal cord itself. I was going to show you the image this evening so you could see for yourself, but unfortunately the DVD the hospital burned for me was another damaged disc. When I got home, my computer said the DVD was blank.

I typed up a list of questions this morning before we drove up to the hospital to pick up Dot. The neurologist was very patient, answering every question and much more. The only thing that she wasn't able to do was promise me that Dot's problems could be resolved. Could the little shard that had broken off from the disc be successfully removed without damaging the spinal cord? It is very likely that it could. Could something go wrong during surgery, making her condition even worse? Yes that could happen too. Could steroids alone reduce the inflammation around the spinal cord enough to allow Dot to resume a reasonably normal life. Possibly. This appears to be one of those things that you just don't know until you try. One of the keys to non-surgical treatment is 100% bed rest for up to eight weeks. Nerves are very fragile, are easily damaged, and can take a very long time to regenerate.

I felt a little better about the possibility of surgery after talking to the neurologist today. I felt a little worse about the whole recovery process after I read a website that described in great detail the many ways that dogs can screw up their own recovery by just being dogs. Dogs don't understand the concept of 100% bed rest and will do everything they can to resume their old activities. You have to watch them like a hawk at all times to ensure that they don't injure themselves.

As bad as it is, there are small signs of hope. When we took Dot to the specialty hospital her rear legs were completely lifeless. This morning, I could see small signs that she was attempting to move them. As I used the Help 'Em Up Harness throughout the day to get her outside to pee, I would often notice that her legs were attempting to move. Dot is a long, long way from being to support her own weight without assistance, but the fact that there is still a little feedback between the nerves in her legs and her spinal cord was encouraging.

I had to be the legs for my first Dalmatian during the last year of his life and it just about killed me. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if this is where all my current shoulder problems originated. Spot had a different problem than Dot has now, however. With Spot, a combination of hip dysplasia and a late in life cruciate ligament tear caused most of of the weakness in his rear legs. Spot was very weak but was never completely paralyzed. It was still possible to take him on walks using a supportive harness. Dot's condition is more serious.

Helping Dot recover will test the limits of my housebound lifestyle. Even I need to get out sometime. Janet and I will figure out a way to keep Dot under supervision at all times. It's not going to be easy though. Dot has already tried to get off her dog bed unassisted three times today. She is not a good candidate for being crated though, so I will always keep her nearby and be her legs when it looks like she needs to move. So far there have been no accidents. She is pretty good about letting me know when she needs to pee. She's even better about letting me know when she's hungry, which is almost all the time.

Tonight should be interesting. Dot has always slept in the bed, but the neurologist says that she absolutely must sleep on the floor and not get in the bed with us. There is just too much danger if she inadvertently tried to hop off the bed while we were asleep. I'm such a light sleeper that I almost always wake up whenever either dog moves during the night. I don't want to risk anything though, so maybe I'll sleep on the floor with her. Dot is today's Dalmatian of the day. I took this picture on Valentines Day several years ago when she was feeling much better.

Dot is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1886

After a long day of evaluations and tests, Dot is resting quietly tonight at a veterinary specialty hospital in Lewisville, Texas. Why one of the best veterinary neurological centers in the country is located so far away from one of the biggest cities in Texas is still a mystery to me. The journey to Lewisville normally takes about 30 to 40 minutes when traffic is light. Of course traffic is never light in Dallas. We spent over an hour on the road this morning, mostly because an accident on the freeway shut down everything but a single lane of traffic at one point.

The accident made us a little late for our appointment, but the neurologist couldn't have been nicer. She was thorough, professional, and patiently answered all of our questions. We had to leave Dot at the facility because the neurologist said their in-house CAT scan equipment wouldn't be able to adequately image her spine in great enough detail. After driving Dot all the way to Lewisville, the hospital ambulance then had to drive her back to Irving where she received an MRI at Animal Imaging. This advanced imaging center has an MRI machine large enough to scan a horse. Race horses are brought here from all over the country for diagnostic imaging. I have been to this center before. It is an amazing place and very expensive. After our initial exam, we left Dot in the capable hands of the neurologist and returned to Dallas to pick up Dash from another veterinarian where he was spending the day in doggie day care. Life becomes very complicated when you can't leave your dogs alone for long periods of time. Dash is still prone to seizures and of course Dot currently can't even walk.

Late this afternoon, the neurologist called us with the results of her MRI scan. It was worse than I thought, but not totally unexpected, especially considering her slowly deteriorating condition during the past year. Dot has multiple bulging disks, including one severely damaged disc that is already pressing against the spinal cord. Considering Dot's age and the length of time her spine has been injured, there is at best a 60% chance that surgery can correct the problem. That leaves a 40% chance that surgery will accomplish nothing or even make the situation worse. Spinal surgery is risky even with a younger dog. In the short term, treatment with cortisone or steroids has almost exactly the same rate of success as surgery, but the benefits aren't permanent. The hard thing with an older dog is determining exactly what "short term" and "long term" mean. If cortisone and anti-inflamatory drugs can keep Dot mobile for another two years, that might be all she needs. She is, after all, a very old dog. On the other hand if surgery is the only way she'll ever have a chance of walking again, it changes the equation entirely. It's a very tough decision.

We will drive to Lewisville again tomorrow morning to pick up Dot and take her home with us. We will also begin her cortisone treatment tomorrow and hope for the best. Usually, if anti-inflammatory drugs work, you'll see some signs of improvement in about a week. If the drugs don't work at all, we've got several weeks to make a decision about surgery. We can't wait three months to decide though. At some point the condition becomes irreversible. There is no way the neurosurgeons can even attempt to fix all Dot's bulging discs. It is far too invasive. The recommended surgery would only attempt to remove the pressure caused by the worst of these damaged discs. If the spinal cord has already been compromised, it will take a long, long time to heal even after surgery. Nerve tissue regrows very slowly. Again, there are no promises that the surgery will work at all. The 60% chance of success is as close to a promise as we are ever going to get.

All I can do at this point is hope for the best. Dot is very resilient and has bounced back from serious injuries before. The past two years have taken their toll however. The desire is still there, but I don't know how much energy she has left. We'll do the best we can. That's all anyone can do.

Tessa is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1885

Dot suffered a serious setback today. The day started normally enough. Both dogs went out in the back yard to pee right after they woke up. Everything was normal. Dot and Dash wandered around the house while we got dressed to take them on their regular morning walk. Then Dot decided to stretch. I'm sure that many of you have seen dogs stretch their legs out behind them after they've been sleeping. Dash does this every morning and Dot used to stretch this way as well when she was younger. I don't know what made her feel like stretching this way today. Maybe she was feeling good. Almost immediately something went wrong. After stretching, she couldn't stand normally again and began to stumble. Within minutes, her rear legs were completely paralyzed.

An emergency trip to the vet confirmed my worst fears. By stretching this way, Dot had managed to rupture or blow out a disc in her spine. This is serious. If we are really lucky, cortisone shots might be able to reduce the inflammation enough so she could regain some limited mobility. If we aren't so lucky, surgery is usually the only alternative. We are seeing one of the best veterinary neurologists in the area tomorrow morning and are hoping for the best. Dot will probably have an MRI or CAT scan tomorrow to see exactly what is going on in her spine. We can't even begin cortisone treatments yet because she still has Rimadyl in her system and the two drugs can't be administered at the same time. She has to wait a minimum of 48 hours to clear the remaining Rimadyl from her body.

Dot is totally confused. One minute she was feeling great and the next minute her rear legs are paralyzed. She is still alert and has a good appetite, but she can't move. We still had a special harness that helped our first Dalmatian get about when his legs began to fail. Unfortunately, this harness didn't fit Dot. During her exam, our vet was able to fit Dot for a new Help 'Em Up Harness which is much better than the old Walkabout Harness that Spot used to wear. The harness can only do so much though. Dot has no sensation in her rear legs and doesn't even attempt to move them.

One of the most difficult things with a paralyzed dog is getting them to pee and poop. Our vet was worried that the injury might have damaged the nerves that control her bladder. I was worried too. Luckily, Dot can still pee. It's messy and it's difficult to get her into a squatting position, but she was able to pee after dinner tonight. A little later, she pooped as well, so there's still hope.

I canceled all my appointments, including my dental surgery, for next week. I don't know what lies ahead at this point, but I'm sure it will involve constant care and attention. You can't really leave Dot alone in this condition because she could easily injure or even break one of her rear legs without even realizing it. I've cared for a dog with a spinal injury once before and it was extremely difficult. Spot did eventually recover though and I want to give Dot every possible opportunity to recover as well. I don't know if she's strong enough for surgery, especially since she had such a difficult time recovering from her cancer surgery last year. Hopefully, the neurologist will be able to give us some hopeful news tomorrow. I'm a strong person, but this has really got me down.

Lucy is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1884

Today was busy. I finished two new articles and sent them off to their destination. I removed some out-of-date items from a client's website. I ordered some more ink for my insatiable large format printer. I even figured out how to optimize my computer using a bootable external drive. OK, so one of these tasks was just a phone call and another took place while I was walking the dogs. The writing and the website revisions still took a lot of time.

I'm worried that Dot's slow decline might be accelerating. She moves so slowly on her evening walk now that it's becoming a bit alarming. Dot still wants to walk, but we just inch along in slow motion. I don't want to push her too hard, but I also don't want her to just lie around and let her muscles atrophy. It's hard to get the activity level just right. Dot still does fine on her early morning walk and then sleeps for much of the day. Even with long naps, she doesn't have much energy left by the end of the day. Maybe one walk a day is plenty now.

We got back from our evening walk just in time for me to watch the launch of the Space X Falcon 9 rocket in Florida. I continue to be impressed by the sheer audacity of Elon Musk. One day he's showing off a Tesla that will go from 0 to 60 in three seconds and the next day he's sending a weather satellite into orbit a million miles from the earth. Just a few days ago a Space X Dragon capsule returned to earth with cargo from the International Space Station and pretty soon these capsules will be carrying astronauts. In many ways Elon Musk has already put Steve Jobs to shame. The guy is everywhere.

I probably should have saved some of today's workload for tomorrow. So far, it doesn't look like there's much cued up in the pipeline. This is typical of me. My goal is always to rid myself of work as quickly as I can, rather than pace myself and space it out evenly. I did enough today to easily fill two days, but now it's all done. Nothing for tomorrow. Dot does have her physical therapy session tomorrow though. That usually takes up most of the afternoon. I probably need to get some more groceries as well. The refrigerator is looking pretty empty.

It's a little early, but I'm already looking for the first signs of Spring. The weather has been so warm this week that you almost expect to see the trees starting to bud and the first of the Spring wildflowers coming into bloom. This unseasonal weather is actually pretty typical for Texas. Over and over again I have seen everything come into bloom in early March, only to be frozen by one last blast of Winter.

Until then, I'll continue to enjoy wearing shorts in February.

Lady Gogh is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1883

Today was an exercise in futility. I wanted to boot my computer from an external drive so I could use a defragmentation application to clean up the desktop computer. There was an external drive sitting on a nearby shelf, but I couldn't find the wall wart power supply so I could plug it in. I got a box out of the closet that contained about forty of these wall warts and started looking for one with an odd, non-standard four pin connection that matched connection on the external drive. I hate these wall warts. Why can't manufacturers include a decent internal power supply with their gadgets like they used to? Now, I've got all these various wall warts and I have no idea what they go to anymore. Each one has a different capacity and outputs a different voltage. I don't know how I acquired so many of these things. Old routers, synthesizers, battery chargers, hard drives, sequencers, and mixers all seem to use them.

Eventually, I found the correct power supply, plugged in the external drive enclosure and discovered that the drive itself had gone bad. All it made was a clicking sound and wouldn't even spin up. Luckily, I found another old Seagate drive in a drawer and took the enclosure apart so I could substitute drives. The second drive wouldn't spin up either. Evidently, if you leave a hard drive sitting around for five or ten years without using it, there is no guarantee that it will ever work again. I thought both of these hard drives were still good the last time I used them. I just can't remember when that was. If old hard drives just die of their own accord after they sit idle for years, I need to seriously rethink my storage warehouse strategy. There are a ton of old computers sitting in there that I might want to fire up someday. What if none of them work anymore?

Today's experience reaffirmed my belief that there are two fundamental operating principals in the universe. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, and use it or lose it. Since I still needed an external drive I could boot up from, I drove to Fry's and bought one. This is probably how I have acquired so much electronic garbage over the years. I should have added the two broken hard drives to the pile of junk I was going to take out to the curb for big trash day, but I couldn't bring myself to throw them away. Maybe they weren't broken after all and I was just doing something wrong.

The weather was wonderful for a second day in a row. I continued my efforts to clean up the yard a bit while the dogs lounged in the sun. I felt like leaving the back door open, so the dogs could come an go as they pleased. I can't do this for too long though, because neighborhood feral cats and even racoons will wander inside.

My experience with the hard drives got me to thinking about the generator I got a few months ago. I took it outside and started it up, just to make sure it still worked. The instructions said I should start it at least once a week, but that was way too much trouble. I haven't started the thing since I bought it. I didn't even use the generator during our last power outage. I still think the best way to deal with a power outage is just go to a nice, pet friendly hotel and wait for the power company to fix things. Luckily the generator still works just fine. Maybe someday, I'll actually need it.

The Space X launch in Florida got scrubbed again. I'm glad I didn't fly down to watch the launch. I would have had to come back empty handed again. You have to have a lot of patience and a very flexible schedule to actually see one of these rockets get off the ground.

Today was kind of dead, but there are already two writing jobs cued up for tomorrow. Two writing jobs and two long dog walks ought to fill up the day rather nicely.

Cooper is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1882

Today was absolutely gorgeous. With clear skies and 75 degree temperatures, it was hard to believe it was February. When we were coming home from our morning walk, I noticed that the neighbors were taking large bags of leaves and bulky trash to the curb. It must be big trash day this week. Since it was a nice day, I thought I'd follow the neighbor's lead and managed to get rid of some my own back yard clutter while the dogs lounged in the morning sun.

After breakfast, I thought I'd get started on organizing my tax information and was appalled to discover that I'd completely forgotten to send in my quarterly estimated taxes this year. Oops. I guess there might be some sort of penalty for this, but it probably won't be much since my income was so low last year. My accountant asked me a couple of years ago why I even bothered to do quarterly taxes anymore and I guess it sent some sort of subliminal message. I certainly didn't bother this year. Every time I forget something like this, I wonder what else I've forgotten.

I did remember to send out my February invoices today. Such a small pile of letters, compared to what it used to be. Janet's retirement was a big deal. Mine will be a non-event. One day I will be sitting at the computer and realize I haven't done any work in three months. I'm still relatively busy, but the writing is on the wall. My peak earning years are so, so over.

So, what happens next? Honestly, I don't have a clue. Some days I still want to design websites and make films. Other days, not so much. I really ought to go buy a more powerful pair of reading glasses and start reading books again. I could easily fill a couple of years just catching up on my reading list. Janet and I are both realizing that when you base your life around work, it can be kind of disorienting when the work disappears. What I don't want to do is spend my time doing a succession of smaller and smaller meaningless jobs. If you follow this path, you eventually reach a point where you are totally consumed with doing nothing at all.

What the hell. I miss being the Wizard of Oz. It's not as much fun spending your days doing the high tech version of Yellow Pages Ads. I do enjoy writing this blog, but it's not War and Peace. Even if I live long enough to extend my run to 5000 days, this will still only be a curious blip on the literary horizon. Don't worry, I'll figure something out. Until then, there's laundry to do, dogs to take care of, and if I'm really good, some bacon and sausages for breakfast.

azz is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1881

I discovered today that I can use the physical therapy room at the gym on Sunday because the physical therapy staff doesn't work on weekends. I wish I'd thought of this earlier, because now I can do all the rehab exercises properly, instead of trying to improvise something at home. I completed every exercise the therapist taught me and went home with a somewhat flexible but very sore shoulder. I wonder how long this is going to take? Probably a lot longer than I've got patience for.

Yes, it's still February, but it was warm enough to wear shorts today. I enjoyed the unseasonable weather, but even though the temperature was a mild 75 degrees, Dot appeared to be uncomfortable. She just can't handle the heat anymore. She likes the really cold days when the rest of us are freezing, but the warmer it gets, the slower she walks. We had to cut our evening walk a bit short, because she was panting and wanted to go home. I don't think all old dogs are this way, but Dot is definitely going to want the air conditioner cranked up this Summer.

Janet and I went out for dinner this evening. This is a rarity for us, but we found another unused gift card lying around the house and decided tonight might be a good time to use it. Every time I go out to a nice restaurant, I remember how much I like bread. I've almost eliminated bread from my diet since it converts to sugar so readily, but I sure do enjoy the stuff. Now that my liver is functioning properly and my blood work looks good, there isn't as much reason to cut out bread. Nevertheless, I tried not to eat a whole loaf this evening, while I waited but my pork chop to arrive. Cutting down on my wheat consumption was one of the main reasons I lost weight last year. I need to remember that, every time a get near a tasty loaf of bread just out of the oven.

The Grammys are on in another room, but I'm not really watching. Occasionally I hear something good and wander into the bedroom to see who is singing on TV. The best thing I've seen this evening was the duet with Hozier and Anne Lennox. Take me to Church is still one of my favorite songs of the year, and I've liked everything the Eurythmics ever did, so this seemed like an inspired pairing to me. Lady GaGa and Tony Bennett were good, but I thought Hozier and Anne Lennox were even better. Ed Sheeran was pretty good too. I like his voice. That was about it. I skipped most of the rest.

I've gotten hooked on watching rocket launches since I went to Vandenberg Air Force Base to see the SMAP launch. I tuned in this afternoon to watch Space X launch a Falcon 9 carrying the Deep Space Climate Observatory. The launch got scrubbed at the last minute because of a problem with a tracking radar downrange. It's amazing how many things have to go absolutely perfectly to get one of these things off the ground. It would be even more amazing if Elon Musk is able to land the first stage booster of this rocket on a floating barge as he is planning. I'll tune in again when the launch is rescheduled.

I guess tomorrow is Monday. It's getting harder and harder to tell the days apart now that Janet has retired. Without the early morning alarm clock that always used to designate work days, Monday seems just about the same as Sunday. The dogs aren't helping to keep me on schedule either. They've both adapted rather quickly to sleeping in late.

Taylor is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1880

I've noticed that I get a lot better response to these posts when there's some sort of point to the day. You guys like an adventure. I've been an advertising writer for long enough that it would be pretty easy to make each day seem like a voyage of discovery. What would this prove though? If you like embellishment, you've already got Brian Williams? I'm comfortable when nothing happens. Much of life is uneventful and that's OK. When I was younger I would have been embarrassed to share a succession of uneventful days with you. Now I hope you enjoy your uneventful moments just as much as I do. As far as I'm concerned, the occasional challenge builds character. Constant challenge just wears you down.

Today was a pleasant non-event. I enjoyed seeing the ghostly disc of the sun through thick fog as we walked the dogs this morning. I took some pictures, but thought you'd prefer seeing flowers blooming in February. There was a small patch of Pink Thrift in full bloom along the trail this morning. I think these are the first flowers of the year.

I ran my usual Saturday errands, filling the car with gas and buying bulk items at Sam's Club. I stopped at a pet store and got the dogs some more biscuits and treats. I did my stretching exercises, although it's hard to tell if my shoulder is improving much. Since it was warm enough to wear shorts this afternoon, I got out the hose and washed the car. Washing the car is much more satisfying than cleaning the house. In less than an hour I can have a shiny, clean car. I could spend days working on the house and it still wouldn't look very different.

I must have seen a dozen hammocks strung between trees near the lake this afternoon. When did it become cool to spend your weekend lying in a hammock? I never used to see hammocks in the park and now they are everywhere. Some people read books in these hammocks. Others seem to string them up just to watch the sunset. Seems like a lot of trouble to me. If I'm outdoors, I'd rather keep moving.

Janet brought home ribs from Backcountry Barbecue for dinner. I love ribs and brisket. When you've got a big rack of ribs in front of you, along with some beans, home made potato salad, and cornbread, you don't need much more excitement. After tonight's dinner, it seems like a trip to the gym tomorrow is almost mandatory.

Stortz is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1879

Today was consumed with the minutiae of everyday life. Everywhere I turned there were nagging little details that refused to be resolved. There were medical bills that were sent directly to me instead of my insurance provider. Nobody knew why. There was a glaring imbalance when I tried to reconcile my bank account. Did I forget to record a check? Were there electronic transfers that I didn't remember? The difference between the bank statement and the checkbook weren't large, but what was causing things to add up differently? I still don't know.

I did finish an article today, but even that was harder than I anticipated. Sometimes it can be quite difficult to write 500 words when 50 would suffice. I'm used to writing about nothing, but occasionally I run out of adjectives. How many times can you say exceptional, superlative, exquisite, and iconic? These words are almost mandatory when you are writing about luxury goods however. It can get boring.

The best thing about today was breakfast. Now that she has retired, Janet has started joining me on my Friday morning breakfast outings. She likes the food too, but I don't think this is the high point of her day. Actually she'd rather be working. I don't think retirement suits her. She's already looking for another job. Not me. I'd love to officially retire. Freelancers and small business owners never retire though. I don't have much of a retirement plan, so I just keep working and hope that the stock market  eventually turns around. My holy grail is a booming stock market, $100 a barrel oil, and high interest rates. That's the only way I'll ever make any money.

The weather was weird today. It was in the low thirties when we got up this morning, but by mid-afternoon it was almost Springlike. By the time I took the dogs on their evening walk it was 70 degrees. I'm not complaining. I hope it is 70 degrees again tomorrow. If it stays warm, maybe I'll wash the car. It seems pointless to wash the car when it's cold and wet. Even more pointless when the water hose is frozen.

I'm trying to decide whether cleaning up dog poop in the back yard or cleaning my office is more onerous. Both jobs seem pretty unpleasant at the moment. My office has really gotten out of hand. Every available surface is covered with clutter. Most of the clutter is old mail that has been put in various "I'll deal with this later" stacks. In addition to the mountains of junk mail, healthcare notices, and bills, there are the Anton Bauer camera batteries that won't re-charge anymore, the large printer that still clogs every two days, and a leaking shower pan in the second bathroom. At least there is no water on the roof today.

I need to get back to the gym this weekend. It's been several weeks since I've had a serious workout and that's not good. Even though I'd rather sleep in late, eat a big mid-morning plate of waffles and bacon, and watch movies for the rest of the day, there are things that need to be done. Discipline can be a real bitch sometimes.

Landry is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1878

Today was one of those days where I wish I was sitting in front of a roaring fire, sipping a cup of hot chocolate as I read a good book. It was miserable outside. The temperature hovered around thirty degrees as a light mist made everything seem even colder. Technically, the rain should have frozen, but luckily it didn't. Icy roads and Texas drivers aren't a good mix. I don't even attempt to go out when the roads ice over anymore. It is just too treacherous.

Writing jobs have started to trickle in again. I was beginning to think that everyone had forgotten about me, but maybe they were just reading the blog and knew I was in California. I think most people know better than to ask me to do two things at once anymore. I don't multitask well at all.

It was Dot's physical therapy day today. She seemed a little tired in the underwater treadmill and appeared to be tense during her acupuncture session. Maybe it was my fault. I was talking to the vet while she was receiving acupuncture and Dot is not really fond of me talking. Most of the time I spend with the dogs, I don't say much of anything. Why should I? It's just me and them. After years and years of spending our days like this, I think Dot sometimes gets alarmed when I talk. We have lots of non verbal communication, but talking just isn't normal. When neighbors stop me to chat on our walks, Dot often starts barking at them. I don't know what she's trying to say, but I suspect it's something like "Go away, he's mine and we've got walking to do."

The date for my dental surgery is drawing closer and closer. I'm dreading this surgery and still don't know how many teeth I'm going to be left with when it's over. I do have a bad cavity on the wisdom tooth that is going to be removed, but I don't understand why a dentist can't just put a filling in and leave the tooth alone. Three different, very reputable dentists have all told me that this is impossible, but it doesn't make sense to me. This tooth came in crooked and is partially impacted, but the root is still good. Why can't they just fill the cavity in this tooth like any other tooth?

It appears that I am not out of the woods yet with my video project. The sound is excellent. The images are well lit and very pretty. I followed the clients instructions exactly. Nevertheless, now that there is a finished product, the client sees new things she'd like to add and wants me to come back and re-shoot a large portion of the video later this month. No change in the budget unfortunately. Jeez, I'm not making much on this in the first place, so this doesn't appeal to me at all. So much for a long series of videos that will keep me busy for the rest of the year.  I'll finish this one, but I don't think I'll be doing any more. It's just too discouraging when people think that shooting a video is easy because they can do the same thing using their phone.

At least tomorrow is Friday. I will go enjoy a delicious breakfast at my favorite restaurant and as I sip my morning coffee, I suspect I will contemplate retirement a little more seriously than I have before.

Zorro is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1877

We passed another milestone today. Dash's oncologist told me that he won't need to see him again for another year. This is very good news. The lab work and x-rays that were done at the re-check painted a portrait of a very normal, healthy dog. For all effective purposes, Dot and Dash have both beat cancer.

In addition to putting the yearlong chemotherapy regime behind me, I think I managed to put yesterday's video woes behind me as well. I'm sure we're not really done yet, but at least I have a nice looking finished product to show my client tomorrow. Since this isn't a time sensitive project, there will almost certainly be further changes. Projects like these always expand to fill the time available. I'd be fine with this if budgets expanded in a similar fashion, but they never do.

I've always thought of myself as a prolific and productive person, but some of the people I met in California are putting me to shame. I'm already starting to see really well researched articles about the SMAP launch from other participants at the NASA event. Some have secured interviews on local radio and TV stations. Others have produced elaborate, full edited videos and posted them on YouTube. What have I done? Not much. I've mentioned a few things here, but these guys are running circles around me. It was a real honor to be included among the best and the brightest, but clearly I am neither the best, or the brightest. It appears that I am still just a guy who spends most of his time walking his dogs.

I noticed today that Dot wasn't interested in walking at all while Dash was at the cancer center. She is very competitive and seems determined to keep up with her younger companion. She kind of likes to boss Dash around too. I think this friendly rivalry is what keeps her going. Without Dash, she suddenly seems much older. There's a lesson in this. You really need someone to challenge you as you grow older. It's so easy to grow complacent and start making excuses. Dot had so much more energy on our evening walk after Dash had returned home. I need to take this to heart. I think I held my own pretty well with the young space enthusiasts in California. I should be able to do it here as well.

I hope my client approves the video tomorrow. I'm supposed to do at least five more of these things. If the first one goes well, doing more should be a piece of cake. If there are a lot of silly changes, I'm doomed. I don't deal well with silly changes. The thought of spending the entire Spring jumping thru hoops makes me want to crawl under a blanket and hide. Let's hope for the best though. The glass isn't always half empty.

Duke is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day