Day 3397

We lost Dash today. He passed away around 11 AM this morning. We knew Dash was sick when we took him to the vet this morning, but we fully expected him to come home with us. We were even slightly optimistic because we had finally been able to get him to drink water and eat a little food yesterday evening. It wasn't meant to be. When the lab results came back this morning, it was clear that Dash was suffering from kidney failure. The vet told us that they could put him on IV fluids for several days and possibly clear some of the toxins from his system. The real danger was excessive levels of phosphorus in his blood. Even if the toxins could be removed, the problem would return because Dash's kidneys weren't operating properly. Even after IV therapy, Dash still might not eat and probably would be very uncomfortable.

Kidney failure explained a lot of things. Lethargy, diarrhea, loss of appetite, weight loss, urinary incontinence, bad breath, and ulcers in the mouth can all be early signs of kidney failure. Dash had all of these symptoms. Increasing Dash's pain medication wouldn't help at all, since the Rimadyl he's been taking is hard on the liver and kidneys to begin with. We had to make a very hard choice today. We could leave him in the ICU for four days, fill him with IV fluids, and if we were lucky, get to spend a few more days or weeks with him. Our vet, a gifted oncologist who helped Dash survive cancer, didn't think he could survive more than a month no matter what we did. Our other choice was to say goodby today.

We never wanted any of our dogs to suffer. In the best of worlds, they all would have died peacefully in their sleep. That never happened. I have so many vivid memories of dying dogs that it's hard to remember all the good times. There were definitely lots of good times. Dot and Dash were both amazingly good dogs. We were lucky to have both of them. Dash was very tired after his exam. I took him outside one last time in the rain to smell things and then we returned to the clinic to say our goodbyes. He lay quietly on a warm blanket in the exam room when we returned and I could tell he was exhausted. As he went to sleep with his head in my lap, the vet prepared to administer the Propofol that would relax and sedate Dash and then the Barbiturates used to stop his heart. Dash was very peaceful as he made his journey to the Rainbow Bridge. He yawned once as the Propofol began to sedate him and just like that, he was gone.

It was very strange to come home to a quiet and empty house. We've shared our home with a Dalmatian for over 32 years. Living with dogs has become a way of life. Living with a sick dogs becomes a way of life too. It's been almost five years since Dot first became sick. There have been a lot up ups and downs along the way, but I wouldn't change a thing even though some days have been extremely hard. I really think we did the best we possible could for all our dogs and they definitely returned the favor. I just wish that dogs lived longer. They capture your heart and then they're gone.

I don't think we will realize for months just how much life has changed. We are both getting older and have our own medical problems. Dash might be our last dog. It's way too early to make that decision now, but we do need to rest and recuperate. It's been a long four years. Rest in peace Dash. I hope you knew that you were dearly loved.

Dash is today's Dalmatian of the Day

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Day 2716 - Dot's last day

More than anything else, this blog has been a chronicle of my love for two very special Dalmatians. One of those dogs left this earth at 7 PM this evening. Dot will be missed more than you can possibly imagine. Dot was a rescue. We don't know where she spent her first two years, but for almost fifteen years she has been my constant companion. Over time, I've grown to understand Dot better than I understand the people in my life. Her boundless enthusiasm has kept me going during my darkest hours. She has been the glue that kept our family together through thick and thin. Dot provided solace for Petey during his final years, and when Dash joined our family, she helped transform him from a frightened rescue pup to an assured and confident adult. Dot has always been the alpha dog. She not only groomed and set the ground rules for Petey and Dash, she immeasurably improved the lives of Janet and myself. I honestly don't know where I would be today without her.

I've never seen a dog with more tenacity or desire to overcome adversity than Dot. She survived abdominal cancer and a ruptured disc in her spine that required a neurosurgeon to repair. As she grew older, she outlived the expectations of every vet who ever treated her. Even when she began to show signs of dementia, she refused to give up. Dot loved her daily walks and the time she spent with her family until the very end. Even when I had to spend hours hand feeding her one piece of kibble at a time, she still wanted to stay among the living.

It breaks my heart that Dot wasn't really ready to go at the end. Her spirit never wavered, but her body finally gave up. Dot has been eating less and less for several weeks now. We gradually ran out of things that would interest her. When she lost interest in cheeseburgers and fried chicken, I began to become seriously worried that she wasn't getting enough nutrition to survive. Dot never gave up. On days where I thought she had given up eating entirely, she would miraculously rally and manage to eat just enough to survive to the next day.

Janet and I knew this couldn't continue, but it was equally obvious that Dot wanted to stay with us a bit longer. We controlled her pain with strong medication and let her eat anything she wanted. Even on days where she had no appetite, Dot still demanded her daily walk to the edge of the park.

Two days ago, Dot began throwing up what little she managed to eat during the day. We could tell she was becoming alarmingly thin and there were signs that her pain medication was losing its effectiveness. Last night Dot was miserable. She threw up everything she ate during the day around 3 AM and even that only provided partial relief. Dot had lost her battle to live.

This morning Dot wasn't even interested in bacon. I gave her an anti nausea pill and her pain medication and then fed her some water through a syringe to make sure none of the pills got stuck in her throat. She rested comfortably for the rest of the day while I made her final arrangements. I hate making life or death decisions, but it would be cruel to let her starve to death. I knew this morning that it was time. It is comforting to know that Dot has led an extraordinary and very happy life. She truly enjoyed being the alpha dog in a family that loved and appreciated her. Dot, I'm sorry I can't take you on a walk tomorrow morning. I really tried, but time just ran out on us.

Dot is today's Dalmatian of the Day

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