Day 3397

We lost Dash today. He passed away around 11 AM this morning. We knew Dash was sick when we took him to the vet this morning, but we fully expected him to come home with us. We were even slightly optimistic because we had finally been able to get him to drink water and eat a little food yesterday evening. It wasn't meant to be. When the lab results came back this morning, it was clear that Dash was suffering from kidney failure. The vet told us that they could put him on IV fluids for several days and possibly clear some of the toxins from his system. The real danger was excessive levels of phosphorus in his blood. Even if the toxins could be removed, the problem would return because Dash's kidneys weren't operating properly. Even after IV therapy, Dash still might not eat and probably would be very uncomfortable.

Kidney failure explained a lot of things. Lethargy, diarrhea, loss of appetite, weight loss, urinary incontinence, bad breath, and ulcers in the mouth can all be early signs of kidney failure. Dash had all of these symptoms. Increasing Dash's pain medication wouldn't help at all, since the Rimadyl he's been taking is hard on the liver and kidneys to begin with. We had to make a very hard choice today. We could leave him in the ICU for four days, fill him with IV fluids, and if we were lucky, get to spend a few more days or weeks with him. Our vet, a gifted oncologist who helped Dash survive cancer, didn't think he could survive more than a month no matter what we did. Our other choice was to say goodby today.

We never wanted any of our dogs to suffer. In the best of worlds, they all would have died peacefully in their sleep. That never happened. I have so many vivid memories of dying dogs that it's hard to remember all the good times. There were definitely lots of good times. Dot and Dash were both amazingly good dogs. We were lucky to have both of them. Dash was very tired after his exam. I took him outside one last time in the rain to smell things and then we returned to the clinic to say our goodbyes. He lay quietly on a warm blanket in the exam room when we returned and I could tell he was exhausted. As he went to sleep with his head in my lap, the vet prepared to administer the Propofol that would relax and sedate Dash and then the Barbiturates used to stop his heart. Dash was very peaceful as he made his journey to the Rainbow Bridge. He yawned once as the Propofol began to sedate him and just like that, he was gone.

It was very strange to come home to a quiet and empty house. We've shared our home with a Dalmatian for over 32 years. Living with dogs has become a way of life. Living with a sick dogs becomes a way of life too. It's been almost five years since Dot first became sick. There have been a lot up ups and downs along the way, but I wouldn't change a thing even though some days have been extremely hard. I really think we did the best we possible could for all our dogs and they definitely returned the favor. I just wish that dogs lived longer. They capture your heart and then they're gone.

I don't think we will realize for months just how much life has changed. We are both getting older and have our own medical problems. Dash might be our last dog. It's way too early to make that decision now, but we do need to rest and recuperate. It's been a long four years. Rest in peace Dash. I hope you knew that you were dearly loved.

Dash is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2720

The rat has vanished. When I went to set the rodent free this morning, it wasn't in the trap. How could this be? The trap was still closed and locked. There were no signs that the rat had tried to chew its way through the heavy wire mesh. The trap looked exactly like it did last night, except there was no rat inside and all the cheese was gone. I was dumbfounded. I still have no idea how the rat escaped, but if it was smart enough to get out of a closed and sealed Havahart trap, it will probably never go near one again. This is very irritating. Now, how am I going to catch this rat?

This morning was way too quiet. This was the first time since Dot passed away that Dash and I were alone in the house, resuming our solitary weekday routine. The house seemed empty and so did I. For the past two years, everything I've done has been centered around Dot. I kept thinking "what do I do now." There was no bucket list and few pent up desires. I tried to take Dash on an extra long walk, but he seemed lost as well. Dot's oncologist had warned me that something like this might happen. "When you invest as much of your time as you have," she told me, "you aren't going to get over this quickly."

Life will never return to normal, because it was never really normal in the first place. I'll adapt though and find new priorities. I always do. I don't think there's any rush. A little floundering around never hurt anybody. I can certainly stay busy cleaning the house for a while. There is a lot of work that needs to be done. I'd like to make sure that Dash feels comfortable. He's a nervous dog who always depended on Dot. It's going to take him a while to regain his confidence. Probably the best thing I could do for Dash is to regain my own confidence as well.

I had one of my periodic meeting with my financial adviser today. For the first time in a long time I wasn't mad at him. We seem to be on the same page again, but I'll be the first to admit that this is always easier to do in a rising market. I've already lived through too many market crashes and feel that I might not have time to recover from another one. We mostly talked about how to preserve what I've got in the event that Armageddon is on the horizon. I don't have a lot of faith in the future, but I still want to beat the odds.

I wish this rain would stop. We've been having thunderstorms almost every day. Dash hates the thunder and lightning and I hate all the mud in the yard. Ordinarily, the landscapers would have replaced all the backyard grass by now, but there are a lot of bills this month, so I'm not in a big hurry to incur any more expenses. I paid my annual homeowners insurance, so that's out of the way, but ever time I start up the car, I see that irritating "Service Required" warning on the dash. How much is that going to cost?

It's a shame that my main writing client has gone dormant. Writing is always a good way to stay busy. Now, the most important thing on my calendar is catching a large rat.

Scooby is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day