Day 3763

Dash died one year ago today. Janet and I were devastated. We were also very tired after tending to sick dogs for almost five years. Neither of us thought we would ever have a dog again. Here we are one year later with another Dalmatian sleeping in our bed. Life is full of surprises and Dawn was one of the good ones. It just goes to show that it doesn't pay to predict the future.

I don't think any one of us could have predicted that we would be living in Chapter Two of a Steven King novel right now. I certainly wasn't thinking that a plague was coming on the day Dash died. Sure there were those who told us that a pandemic was likely many years ago. They wrote books about the coming storm. There were also people telling us that aliens were living among us and that the Illuminati were secretly controlling the world. We ignored the threat of a pandemic the same way we've been ignoring the threat of nuclear war. If you want to lead a normal life, you tend to believe things that let you continue living normally.

I have a friend who has recovered from the coronavirus. He said that fighting the disease was horrible but that when he came out the other end, he felt like he had acquired a superpower. I found this interesting and somewhat prophetic. Universal testing is coming. It will take a while, but it is the only way for society to get a handle on the pandemic. Eventually we will know who is safe and who is a carrier. The people who have developed an immunity and are safe will have a superpower. They can resume normal life. The carriers who can still transmit the disease may not be sick themselves, but nobody will want to get anywhere near them. They will become social pariahs. Nobody will be able to hide because when this day arrives, the detection software Apple and Google are developing now will have been perfected and built into the operating systems of our phones. You know how addicted we are to are to our phones. When your phone starts to beep you will run the other way.

I find myself thinking more about the societal changes to come in the days ahead than about the people dying today. Maybe I'm not compassionate enough. People die everyday, but society only dies once. I don't want to go back to the Stone Age or live in a world that resembles a Bladerunner movie. I don't particularly want to die either. This is the Sophie's choice we are facing as a society.

I called a repair shop about fixing my computer and found myself wishing that my nonchalent electricians could fix computers. These computer repair guys seemed freaked out about seeing me in person and had a complex procedure that involved filling out a bunch on Internet forms and leaving the damaged computer on their front door step. They definitely didn't want me inside their store. Maybe I'll watch a few more YouTube videos and work up my nerve to fix the computer myself. How hard could it be to replace an iMac hard drive?

Today was beautiful and we decided to walk in a more remote section of the park. Dawn loved the new smells and the longer walk certainly didn't interrupt any plans. Who has plans anymore? I did have to remove the water from the roof all over again later in the day. I miscalculated yesterday and should have waited a while before removing the standing water. We ended up getting a lot more rain. At least we didn't get a tornado. You've got to be thankful for things like that.

Valli is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 3653 - Christmas

No white Christmas here. It actually felt more like the first day of Spring. With temperatures in the mid-70's, I was able to wear shorts and a t-shirt again. The unusually warm weather was fine with me. I had things to do.

Janet called to wish me a Merry Christmas after breakfast and then I got to work. I finished cleaning the windows and brushed away all the spider webs under the eaves. The window trim is looking pretty shabby in places. Actually the entire house could use a coat of paint, but we'll deal with that later. I also cleaned the atrium, which hasn't been touched in months. With the sliding glass door broken, it's hard to even get into the atrium these days. The house is starting to look better, but there's a long way to go.

I still need to finish patching the roof. It looks like the weather is going to remain warm for a few more days so I guess there is no rush. I doubt that my problems will be over when I finish using this bucket of silicon, but I must be doing something right. There hasn't been a leak in quite a while now.

I thought about going to a movie this afternoon, but there isn't really anything I want to see. I just took my regular walk instead. Even though it was a beautiful day, there weren't as many families out as there were on Christmas Eve. I guess that makes sense. After a morning of opening presents, probably the last thing you feel like doing is gathering everybody together for a long walk. Most of the people I saw today had a dog with them. Dogs are always ready for a walk.

This is our first Christmas without a dog in a long time. Dot and Dash used to love getting gifts and would eagerly tear off the wrapping paper to get at the treat or toy inside. They were just like children and always seemed to know when something was for them. I miss their exuberance.

On days where I'm physically active, I start to question my desire to spend time on a remote mountain in West Texas. I just don't have the energy I used to. I'm still pretty healthy but the aches and pains are real. Life on Mount Locke is pretty basic. I guess I won't know if I have what it takes until I try. I'll give the observatory a call after the first of the year and work out living arrangements. I'm still planning to go out there this Spring.

I used to always buy something for the company after Christmas so I could expense it on my taxes. Retirement changes all that. When you are actively trying to downsize, the last thing you need is more stuff. Janet and I don't even exchange Christmas gifts anymore. We have everything we need.

I guess the only thing I'd like now are a few more experiences. I'd still like to become a space journalist. Everything I've seen so far courtesy of NASA has been fascinating. I'm usually the oldest guy at the launch pad, so I have a unique point of view. I may be deluding myself, but I think I'll be able to publish more. Two articles in less than a year is a good start. I'd also like to see distant galaxies with my own eyes. Spending time at a major observatory is a good way to do this. These are worthy goals but are not exactly burning desires. I just need to be careful not to talk myself out of doing all this. It would be so easy to do nothing at all.

Dot is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 3488

It's been three months since Dash died. There are new routines now. I can't say that life has returned to normal because it still seems normal to have dogs in the house. There was at least one Dalmatian in our home for over 30 years. Dogs still matter to us but I have to admit that it's nice to not have huge vet bills or the responsibility of deciding what is right for your best friend when the end is approaching. Janet volunteers with a local rescue group now. We both enjoy visiting the Dalmatians once a week. For now this is enough. We're traveling more now and doing things that weren't possible when caring for sick dogs was a 24/7 responsibility. Although it is sometimes tempting to take a dog home with us when we visit the Dalmatians at the boarding kennel, I realize that these dogs are finding fabulous homes. That's all that matters. If and when we're ready for a dog again, I'm sure there will be a dog that's ready for us.

I'm trying to do everything earlier now since it is so hot. I thought I'd find fresher fruit at the grocery store if I shopped early, but it doesn't seem to matter. Often stores get fresh deliveries daily, but you can't depend on it. I've noticed that the best strawberries are usually in the bottom boxes. Produce managers put the older fruit on top, hoping that people will buy it first. I sort through all the boxes, trying to find the best. Peaches are weird. Specific varieties are usually in the store for only a month and then you'll find a new variety. Not that it matters, but I'm gradually learning which varieties I like best. I eat a lot of peaches in the summer because they aren't even available in the winter. Most of you know that a fungal disease is gradually destroying the Cavendish banana around the world and this fruit might not be available soon. What am I going to do without my favorite bananas? You'd think that someone who was so interested in fruit would be equally interested in vegetables. Nope. I usually skip the vegetable aisle.

I'm conflicted about food. I really like pork, but feel guilty eating it since pigs are nice, exceptionally smart animals. I'm not sure that vegans are doing themselves any favors. I've known some very unhealthy vegans. I've known some very healthy vegans too, but I do believe that humans are basically carnivorous animals. So are dogs. Dogs seem to thrive on a raw diet. I've often wondered if the high incidence of cancer in dogs is because of the heavily processed food most of them eat.

I was amused to learn that the basic ingredients used to make Beyond Meat and those Impossible Burgers is very similar to the ingredients found in high end dog food. The only real difference is the spices used to make these products taste like meat. These meat substitutes have become very popular recently but they're basically just dog food. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I always thought our dogs ate better than we did.

When I was growing up in Alaska, everybody hunted. People has big freezers in their garages and neighbors traded game with each other. Dad was more of a fisherman, but he often traded salmon and trout he'd caught for Moose steaks or ducks. There was an honest simplicity to all this. It was the complete opposite of factory farming. We try to buy cage free eggs and grass fed beef but it's probably just a token gesture. The world has changed. We're not that far away from Soylent Green.

If you're wondering why I'm talking about food today it is because I didn't really do anything. I could have summed up today in a single sentence: Ate breakfast, bought groceries, walked, and blogged.

Watson is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 3430

I'm starting to see Dragonflies again. This is always a good sign that Spring is ending and Summer is beginning. There will be many more Dragonflies as the weather grows warmer but they will never become easier to photograph. These little critters refuse to stay still. I also saw my first baby ducks of the season today. A Mallard Hen was swimming along the shoreline with ten small ducklings in tow. I'm always amazed that baby birds of any species survive. There are many predators in the park.

We got a nice card from the doctors and nurses at the cancer center in today's mail. As Dash's condition began to deteriorate these specialty vets got to know him very well. I think every nurse in the facility wrote a message on the card. I'm glad that Dash is remembered by so many. I'll certainly never forget what he meant to me.

This is the time of year when we usually call the landscaper to clean up the yard and plant new grass. For some reason we haven't made the call this year. On cool mornings I think that I can clean up the yard myself. Of course on hot days I just say never mind. I need to do something. There are still lots of leaves on the ground that will never get raked and the grass in the back yard is looking pretty shabby. Amazingly, some of the sod we planted last Spring is still alive, which hasn't happened in recent memory. It's harder to justify spending the money on landscaping without Dot and Dash. The dogs loved a nice yard to play in. It's not as much of a priority to us.

I'm having trouble making anything a priority. There is nothing to prove anymore. I pick up a guitar now and then, but I never write songs like I used to. I have no interest in making movies even though I still have all the tools. The documentaries I shot back in the early 1970's seem so distant that it's easy to imagine that someone else made them. I definitely don't want to go back to having clients again. The only thing I miss about working is having a steady income stream. Working did impose a structure on my life that was beneficial to a person like me, but I can't say that I really enjoyed the deadlines. You can become very good at jumping through hoops, but it's still just jumping through hoops.

I realized tonight that when I cook I always make the same thing. I make a meat sauce using sausage, green peppers, onions, and maybe a little corn and black beans. If it's breakfast, I throw in a couple of eggs and it's an omelet. If it's dinner I pour the sauce over noodles and it's pasta. Either way, it's pretty tasty. I don't need a recipe either.

When I took the trash out to the curb tonight I noticed that a raccoon had gotten into our can. What a mess. Pretty clever raccoon, since there is always a lid on the can. I don't know why this bothered me since it's just garbage. I always neatly bag and seal all the trash in black plastic bags. Of course there is method to this madness. There always is. If the trash truck fails to show up, it's easy for me to put the bags in the car and take them to a dumpster. When I think that a raccoon can easily destroy my orderly world, it all seems kind of hopeless. It's going to take a good breakfast tomorrow morning to make things right again.

Liberty is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 3399

Watching Notre Dame burn left me with an uneasy feeling that civilization itself was coming to an end. Paris has always been my favorite city. Every time I've been there, it seemed to represent what a great civilization could become. The place was magic. I'm not sure I'd feel the same way if I returned today. Terrorist attacks, civil unrest, squalid homeless camps, and this horrendous fire have changed the place. I don't know if the fire was caused by simple carelessness or malicious intent, but it shouldn't have happened. We can do better. This building was constructed during the Middle Ages. It survived the French Revolution and two World Wars. The cathedral was a vibrant and important part of European life long before the United States even existed. The fact that it burned today just seems like a bad omen to me.

I've always loved great cathedrals. Janet and I have climbed to the top of St. Peter's and looked out over the Roman skyline. We've stood in awe in front of Gaudi's Sagrada Família in Barcelona. We visited Salisbury Cathedral on our way to Stonehenge. Once, my German hosts took me on a special private tour of The Cathedral of Saint Lorenz at the end of a business trip to Nuremberg. These places were all amazing to me, but probably Notre Dame was the best of them all. It was very sad to see it burn today.

This morning I made arrangements for Dash's funeral. It isn't really a funeral I guess. Just a private cremation. It will seem like a funeral to us. We will spend some time with Dash in a quiet room with candles and say our final goodbyes. The staff will make a paw print and we will wrap him in his favorite blanket. Then I will carry him to the crematory and we will leave. All this ceremony may seem silly to some, but it brings us closure. We have done this for all our dogs. There are five little cedar boxes on our coffee table. Soon there will be six.

I took a walk by myself this morning. I followed one of the trails the dogs used to love when they were young and active. Jeez. We used to walk a long way. I was winded by the time I returned home. Dot and Dash's decline has been so slow and gradual that I never really realized that our walks were getting shorter and shorter. I forget sometimes that I have been walking dogs in this park for thirty years. I know every inch of this place. We are lucky to live near the largest urban lake in the country. Our park is larger than Central Park in New York. It is very pretty. If you were a dog, this is definitely where you would want to live.

I took some more of Dash's things to the storage warehouse this afternoon. The warehouse is getting full again. Sometimes the whole idea of downsizing seems futile. There are always things you want to keep. I have things of my Dad's that I will never use but it seems disrespectful to throw them away. It's easy to throw away an old computer. It's much harder to throw away dog blankets. You should never throw away your dog's collar. We've accumulated a huge collection of dog collars.

I'm still not used to getting enough sleep. It almost seems unnatural.

Krissy is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 3398

Dash had a lot more friends than I realized. I was overwhelmed as condolences poured in from around the world yesterday. Thanks to all of you for sharing our story for all these years and finding a place in your heart for a very special dog. Newcomers to the blog may not realize that I've been writing about dogs for a very long time. Years ago I used to be a contributing editor for a strange little magazine called The Dalmatian Quarterly. This was back in the day when people still read things printed on paper and odd publications like this could survive and thrive. The Dalmatian Quarterly is long gone, but my interest in dogs continued. I included a few dog stories in a book I wrote called The Road to Nowhere. People liked these stories, so I wrote a book about our first Dalmatian called Wag. After Spot passed away, I wrote another book about our next Dalmatian called Petey's Place. By the time Dot and Dash became part of our lives, I had discovered blogging and the rest is history.

It's still hard to get used to a world without dogs. When I came home from the gym this afternoon, I immediately went to the bedroom to check on Dash. Checking on Dash has become such an integral part of my life in recent years that it took a second or two to realize he wasn't there. His support system was definitely still in place. There were throw rugs to help him walk in every room. Puppy training pads were everywhere because you never knew when Dash would need to poop. All my pants and most of my jackets still have poop bags in the pockets. There were lots of kiddie gates to create safe spaces for Dash when I had to be away. There were an enormous amount of dog blankets and at least three dog beds in different parts of the house. You can't have too many dog blankets.

It's going to take a long time to make the house presentable again. I took the rugs back to the storage warehouse this afternoon. We may need them again someday. It's a lot more likely that another old Dalmatian will need them first. Friends gave us rugs when Dot's legs began to fail and we'll probably give these rugs to someone else. The gates will get used again too. Gates can be helpful with older dogs, but they are absolutely essential with puppies.

Eventually, all the blankets will be washed and put away. There will be one blanket that goes with Dash as he takes his final trip with us in the car a few days from now. We always wrap our dogs in their favorite blanket and drive them to be cremated ourselves. We make a paw print in clay, clip a tiny amount of fur to keep, and then gently carry our friend to the crematory. I will place Dash in the oven myself. Not everyone does it this way, but it just seems right. If you start your journey together, you should end your journey together. I will need to makes the arrangements tomorrow morning. We will go to the same place where we took Dot. They were extremely kind to us.

It was weird to experience uninterrupted sleep again. I didn't wake up once last night. I didn't even get up to go to the bathroom. It's been a long time since that happened. When I woke up around 6:30 AM I felt rested. There was no point in getting up early though. The only reason I ever got up early was to walk Dash before it became too hot. I guess I'm going to need to continue walking in the park to take pictures for the blog. I still need a new picture every day. It's going to seem strange walking without a dog though. It feels like I've been walking dogs forever.

Thanks again for thinking about us yesterday. It means a lot.

Flash is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 3397

We lost Dash today. He passed away around 11 AM this morning. We knew Dash was sick when we took him to the vet this morning, but we fully expected him to come home with us. We were even slightly optimistic because we had finally been able to get him to drink water and eat a little food yesterday evening. It wasn't meant to be. When the lab results came back this morning, it was clear that Dash was suffering from kidney failure. The vet told us that they could put him on IV fluids for several days and possibly clear some of the toxins from his system. The real danger was excessive levels of phosphorus in his blood. Even if the toxins could be removed, the problem would return because Dash's kidneys weren't operating properly. Even after IV therapy, Dash still might not eat and probably would be very uncomfortable.

Kidney failure explained a lot of things. Lethargy, diarrhea, loss of appetite, weight loss, urinary incontinence, bad breath, and ulcers in the mouth can all be early signs of kidney failure. Dash had all of these symptoms. Increasing Dash's pain medication wouldn't help at all, since the Rimadyl he's been taking is hard on the liver and kidneys to begin with. We had to make a very hard choice today. We could leave him in the ICU for four days, fill him with IV fluids, and if we were lucky, get to spend a few more days or weeks with him. Our vet, a gifted oncologist who helped Dash survive cancer, didn't think he could survive more than a month no matter what we did. Our other choice was to say goodby today.

We never wanted any of our dogs to suffer. In the best of worlds, they all would have died peacefully in their sleep. That never happened. I have so many vivid memories of dying dogs that it's hard to remember all the good times. There were definitely lots of good times. Dot and Dash were both amazingly good dogs. We were lucky to have both of them. Dash was very tired after his exam. I took him outside one last time in the rain to smell things and then we returned to the clinic to say our goodbyes. He lay quietly on a warm blanket in the exam room when we returned and I could tell he was exhausted. As he went to sleep with his head in my lap, the vet prepared to administer the Propofol that would relax and sedate Dash and then the Barbiturates used to stop his heart. Dash was very peaceful as he made his journey to the Rainbow Bridge. He yawned once as the Propofol began to sedate him and just like that, he was gone.

It was very strange to come home to a quiet and empty house. We've shared our home with a Dalmatian for over 32 years. Living with dogs has become a way of life. Living with a sick dogs becomes a way of life too. It's been almost five years since Dot first became sick. There have been a lot up ups and downs along the way, but I wouldn't change a thing even though some days have been extremely hard. I really think we did the best we possible could for all our dogs and they definitely returned the favor. I just wish that dogs lived longer. They capture your heart and then they're gone.

I don't think we will realize for months just how much life has changed. We are both getting older and have our own medical problems. Dash might be our last dog. It's way too early to make that decision now, but we do need to rest and recuperate. It's been a long four years. Rest in peace Dash. I hope you knew that you were dearly loved.

Dash is today's Dalmatian of the Day

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