Day 3377

I've never seen someone go from hero to goat so quickly. Just a few days ago Robert Mueller was the knight in shining armor who was going to deliver Trump's head on a platter. Today, he did the unthinkable to some on the left: he didn't follow their game plan. Why were these guys so convinced that Mueller was going to bring the president down? If this was the honest investigation that they claimed they wanted, the outcome was never predetermined. Hey, it's time to move on guys. It didn't turn out the way you wanted. If you want to win the next election you need to start telling people what you like. We already know what you hate.

I find politics humorous and sad. It seldom works when people allow it to become their religion. The Democrats could probably win in 2020 with a ticket of Biden and Beto. People like these guys. The progressives will never nominate an old white guy though. How could they? They've boxed themselves into a corner on that one. I predict that they'll pick someone ideologically pure, culturally diverse, and too weird for the country. They'll end up losing again. Don't say I didn't warn you.

I don't think about politics at the gym. I wonder about the other people on the floor. Everybody at my gym is pretty old, but some are amazingly fit. I'm impressed at what they are able to do. I like to think that these people have more discipline than the others. They were probably the ones who always came to work early and left late. The fat people on the floor are probably nicer human beings, but I'm still impressed by the folks with the most determination.

Dash is certainly determined. Even though he has taken a turn for the worse, he still wants his daily walks. I've tried to cut the distance we walk in half to prevent him from becoming too exhausted. So far, this seems to be working. It takes forever to go even a short distance these days, but that's OK. I certainly don't have anything better to do. I'm a little worried that if something happened while we were out in the park, I wouldn't be able to get him to a vet in time. A walk is a simple thing, but occasionally I feel like I'm balancing on a tightrope without a safety net.

Now that Dash is sleeping more, his schedules have changed. We were worried for a while that he was losing interest in eating again, and then we realized that he wanted to eat his dinner at midnight. Often we have to get out of bed to feed him. It works though. Once he's had his midnight snack, he sleeps like a baby. We've gone several days without Dash pooping in the bed. He's been waking up and going outside. This is probably just a happy accident, but it is appreciated. I have no idea what will happen tonight. Life has become very unpredictable.

Spring has definitely arrived because the insects are back. I see long lines of small sweet ants climbing up the exterior bricks, looking for a way inside. They always find a way inside. Next month I'll see them in the bathroom. The Crane Flies are the worst. They congregate by the back door at night and every time I let Dash out, a dozen of them get in the house. Crane Flies are slow and easy to catch, but they are still irritating. I see one flying around the office now.

Chelsey is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 3354

I was determined to get something done today. It was pretty obvious that my plan of waiting for nice weather to get started just wasn't going to work. Dash seem willing to cooperate. I wasn't expecting him to take an early walk, but he did. He wanted to go someplace new this morning and we walked around aimlessly for a while. I hope he found what he was looking for.

Even though we took a long walk, we got home early enough for me to go out for breakfast. I had to feed Dash first because I didn't think he'd eat from his bowl while I was gone. I've been having to hand feed Dash lately. He's been having real trouble getting his food from the bowl to his mouth. He's still as hungry as ever, but you need to feed him by hand.

I had something called a Breakfast Reuben this morning. I've never had a Reuben sandwich for breakfast before, but this was surprisingly good. The sandwich was served on a pretzel roll with a side of cheese grits. A little different, but this is something I'd definitely try again sometime.

The muddy puddle in the back yard isn't going away, so I called the plumber and made an appointment for them to come out on Monday. Hopefully they can repair the leak without totally tearing up the back yard. It would be tempting to postpone this repair since everything is still working in the house, but the thought of Dash walking through sewer water every day isn't very appealing. The water doesn't smell bad, so maybe I'm dealing with something else entirely. Hopefully, the plumber will know what to do.

In an effort to keep the roof leak from returning again, I went up on the roof after lunch and swept all the remaining water away. It's just going to rain again in a few days, but it seems important to keep the water level low. We'll see what happens. I've got buckets ready if they're needed. The one good thing about the expensive roof replacement estimate I got yesterday is that it's going to make all other repairs seem cheap. After seeing this estimate, I'm not really worried about what the plumber's going to charge.

I accepted the NASA invitation to go to Houston and blog about the Orion program. I've been so apprehensive about travel recently that I did this mainly to force myself to get out of the house. With the ability to order almost anything online, to work online, and even have your food delivered to you, it becomes quite tempting to stay housebound. I have no real desire to get out anymore, but instinctively I know it's not a good idea to become too reclusive. You've got to stay engaged.

The new storage warehouse has already raised my rent. That didn't take long. My goal for 2019 should be getting rid of everything in the warehouse. When I was doing the big move last November I didn't see anything that I couldn't live without. Most of the stuff is so old that I've forgotten about it already. The only trouble with decluttering is that it is a lot of trouble. It is so much easier to just ignore the stuff. This is probably why just about everybody's garage is filled to the rafters with crap.

There are a lot of new Dalmatians in the rescue program, so Janet and I might go up to the kennels and photograph them this weekend. The last time we tried this we got caught in a thunderstorm and had to turn around and come home. The forecast doesn't look great, but maybe we'll get lucky this time. You never know about Texas weather.

Lucky is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2707

Today was discouraging. Dot ate, but not nearly as well as she did yesterday. When we went to the cancer center we didn't even do the regular battery of cancer tests. Dot's oncologist agreed with us that cancer wasn't Dot's biggest problem now. It is her ability to keep eating that will determine how long she is able to stay with us.

The oncologist was very kind. She spent a lot of time talking with us about end of life issues and helped us understand the critical things we need to be looking at before we make a final decision. You'd think pain would be the most important issue, but Dot's pain medication is so effective that Dot is not in pain. The oncologist said that you have to be careful not to get over confident with a dog that is taking Dot's medications. The powerful meds could be masking some serious conditions that would otherwise be evident. We need to keep an eye on Dot's anemia. It is getting worse, but it is not critical. We need to make sure Dot is well hydrated. Even though she is drinking water, she might not be getting enough.

The doctors and nurses at the cancer center have been watching Dot's decline for at least a year now. Dot's oncologist thinks now that she has a form of canine Alzheimer's disease, along with her many other ailments. Alzheimer's would explain a lot. A lot of times Dot seems to forget the most basic things, including how to eat. Not all vets agree that dogs can get Alzheimer's disease, but many think they can. In fact, some researchers are studying dogs with cognitive problems to help understand how Alzheimer's works in humans.

The trip to the cancer center made Dot very tired, so we weren't planning on taking a walk today. I took a short nap right after dinner and much to my surprise Janet told me that she and Dot walked to the park and back while I was asleep. Dot is definitely determined. She didn't eat enough today, but at least she tried. We were able to add canned tuna and flank steak to the short list of things she likes this week. I hope she still likes the tuna tomorrow. It's actually pretty good for her. We now try to feed her some of the Dogsure liquid supplement using a syringe every day to help insure that she is still getting enough nutrition with her constantly changing diet.

I may have lost one of my last remaining clients. I learned that the company owner is planning to use one of his sons to do his marketing now. This has happened to me before. I think everybody's kid has gone into marketing. That's what they all seem to do these days. Sometimes I get hired back however when the parents discover that their kids aren't quite as sharp as they thought they were. We'll see what happens. I'm kind of at the stage where I don't really care.

The audio gear I ordered last week arrived this afternoon and I didn't even open the box. That's what kind of day it's been. I'm totally focused on Dot now. If she still wants to keep on going for a few more weeks, I'm going to try to make it happen for her.

Willie is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2705

Dot didn't bounce back today. I tried everything I could think of, but she just wasn't interested in eating. Two day ago she was eating more than enough to sustain her. Now, we are right back to where we were a month ago. It all happened rather suddenly. Jeez. It doesn't seem like a month has passed since we initially became convinced that her body was shutting down. I was so proud of Dot's remarkable comeback. She was determined to beat the odds.

I'm worried again. If Dot can't eat, she doesn't have long. She was even having trouble drinking water today. For the first time, we used a syringe to make sure she was getting enough water and wasn't becoming dehydrated. We took her outside and used a large syringe to slowly squirt water down her throat. I was surprised at how well this worked. We had to give her the water slowly so she wouldn't choke on it, but she did swallow normally and seemed to appreciated the water.

Later in the day it occurred to me that we could use the same technique to make sure she got some food too. We still had a can of the Dogsure liquid supplement we bought the first time she stopped eating. She drank about a third of the can using the syringe and at least for a few moments, seemed to regain her interest in food. We were able to get her to eat a little bit of fresh salmon Janet went out and got for her this morning. Nothing else worked today. Dot wasn't eating ham, cheese, turkey, or the Ultramix stew.

Surprisingly, Dot still wanted her walks. The weather was cool after some severe storms last night and Dot was eager to go to the park. I didn't think she'd have the energy, since she wasn't eating, but she did surprisingly well. These short walks are very important to her.

Last night's thunderstorm woke everyone up except for Dot. She slept through the whole thing. Dash, on the other hand, was terrified. I finally got him to come under the covers with me and he calmed down a bit since he couldn't see the lightning anymore. He could still hear the thunder though. This was some of the loudest thunder I've ever heard. It sounded like mortar rounds landing next to the house. Dash curled up next to me and shivered and shook for the rest of the night.

We try not to leave Dot alone anymore. I went to the gym right after breakfast while Janet was doing some things around the house. When I returned, she left to do her errands. I was surprised to look up while I was on the hand bike today and realize I was the only person in the entire gym. I don't think this has ever happened before. It's a very large gym and there's always somebody there. Janet told me later that it was graduation weekend and that the old people who frequent this gym were probably watching their children or grandchildren graduate. Sounds plausible.

I hope Dot's appetite returns tomorrow. She's got to eat something. It would break my heart to have to put a dog down that wasn't ready to go. I'm not giving up on Dot yet. She came back from the brink once before and maybe she will again. When I walked Dot this evening I could see her determination. We'll give it everything we've got tomorrow.

Casey is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2650

There were tons of blueberries at the store today. I need to train myself to do grocery shopping on weekday mornings. The stores are empty and the shelves are well stocked. This is exactly opposite of the way it is on weekends. Since I had such good luck with the blueberries, I stopped by the REI store on the way home. The thing I wanted was out of stock, so I left without buying anything at all. By the time I got home, I'd completely forgotten why I needed anything at REI in the first place. The excursion wasn't a total loss though. I'll have fresh blueberries in my smoothie tomorrow morning.

Dash has been licking his butt again, so I made an appointment to go to the vet and get his anal glands expressed. Dot can go years without anal gland problems, but Dash seems to need his expressed every two weeks. I should learn to do this myself, but I'm tired of doing disgusting things. It's easy and convenient to just go to the vet. Dot is almost impossible to transport now and Dash is getting more difficult as well. He can no longer hop up in the car like he used to, but doesn't want me to lift him either. I got tired of having him try to squirm out of my arms, or hit the back bumper when he couldn't jump high enough to reach the open tailgate. Now, I let him get a running start and then grab the handle on the back of his Ruffwear Web Master Harness as he starts to become airborne and give him a boost. This probably wasn't what this durable search and rescue dog harness was designed for, but it works great. Dash thinks he's jumping, but I'm really just tossing him in the car like a sack of potatoes.

I wish I'd get an interesting project to work on so I'd lose the desire to go buy a bunch of stuff I don't need. Whenever nothing is happening at work, I tend to read catalogs obsessively and daydream about new gear that I think I need. I've convinced myself that I need a new telephoto lens, even though I have several long lenses already. I'm sure I'd use the lens and equally sure that I don't really need it. It's too bad that I don't enjoy going to a movie or reading books like a normal person. Life would be a lot less expensive if I just fought boredom with a good book. There is something strangely satisfying about gear though. I love to accumulate gear.

I've decided that Dot is like a 90 year old who still wants to get that hip replacement so they can start training for a marathon. She is so weak, but she just doesn't want to give up. I've never seen a dog with so much determination. I don't think Dash and I have Dot's inner resolve. Dash is moody and I have a tendency to be lazy. We both could learn a lot from Dot.

I guess I show a certain amount of determination by continuing to write this blog day after day, but I could do so much more. I've noticed that people's priorities change as they age. Some people, like my Mom, find a calling late in life. Other people, like my Dad, seem to flounder. I wonder where I'll wind up. I've remained curious, but I've also turned inward. This is probably a good combination for a philosopher. Not so good for an ad man. Maybe my life in advertising has reached its logical conclusion.

Chloe is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2554

It's hard to believe that yesterday I was wearing a down ski jacket, gloves, and a wool hat. Today, I'm wearing shorts. The temperature actually got up to seventy five degrees this afternoon. That's Texas weather for you. You never really know what to expect.

I never know what to expect anyway. With Dot, every day is full of surprises. Today, her urinary incontinence was worse and she was leaking everywhere. She hardly pooped at all though. Go figure. I've got to come up with a better way to clean her up after all the frequent accidents. When I help her up now, my hands usually end up smelling of pee. We've increased her Incurin dose, but it doesn't seem to be working. I'm afraid there may be nothing more we can do.

I went to the gym earlier than usual this morning, in hopes of having time to do other things when I returned home. It didn't work out that way, but at least I tried. The gym is never very crowded on Sunday. There was a man putting his young son through what appeared to be a fairly punishing workout and several old people who seemed to be moving in slow motion. Everyone seemed very determined today. I wonder if I appeared determined to them? Probably not. I don't think I appear determined to anyone.

Maybe Dot thinks I'm determined. I hope so. I do everything I can to keep her comfortable. Mostly this means making sure that she always has dry, clean bedding when she poops or pees in her sleep and helping her up and guiding her slowly around the back yard whenever she gets restless. On a good day, I think she still feels like a normal dog. This experience has made me realize that I wouldn't be very good at providing hospice care for a human. Dog accept what you give and seldom complain. People always complain.

I complain a lot myself, but by now you probably realize that I don't mean any harm. I'm just baffled at the choices people make. Don't they realize how much easier life would be if they all just did things my way? I get frustrated at people, but since I'm not really around other people all that much, my frustration seldom goes beyond talking back to the TV. Sometimes hitting the heavy bag at the gym helps too.

I'd better hop on the Amazon.com site tomorrow and get my Christmas shopping done. If I wait much longer, I'll have to pay extra for Fedex delivery again. At least my Christmas list is very short. It probably won't take me ten minutes to get my shopping done. I don't know why anyone goes to the mall anymore. Online shopping is so much easier. It would take me longer to find a parking place at Northpark than it does to take care of everything with a few clicks on the Amazon site. You don't have to wrap the packages either.

I hope Dot feels better tomorrow. She seems exhausted today. I think today's unexpectedly warm weather caught her by surprise.

Emmitt is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2196

I made it back to the gym today. I wish I enjoyed this more, because it seems pretty obvious that this is a much more effective way to ward off heart attacks and diabetes than working around the house. Housework can be strenuous, but I'm slow and methodical and vacuuming or sweeping leaves off the roof seldom elevates my heart rate. When I'm at the gym, my body knows I've done something. Cleaning the house leaves me tired, but I'm not really feeling the burn. The weariness probably comes from the futility of it all. When I go to the gym regularly, I actually do feel stronger. When I clean the house regularly, it is still old and falling apart. It never really gets clean either. I continue to be amazed that week-after-week the Dyson canister continues to fill up with dust and dirt while the dehumidifier bucket continues to fill up with water. Where does all this dirt and moisture come from. It's almost like the house manufactures it.

When I was young and starting out in advertising, my boss came up with the famous "There is no finish line" theme for Nike. This was a brilliant headline, but it also summed up my feelings about exercise. I want there to be a finish line for everything. I'd like to be able to get into shape and then be able to say "been there, done that," so I could go back to eating donuts. Life doesn't work that way unfortunately. If I don't continuously keep practicing my skills, I lose them. If I don't continuously stay active, I become fat. If I'm not comfortable with the idea of continually being my own personal drill Sargent, I'll probably just sink into a deep depression and give up.

It's more about perseverance than pleasure these days. That's not entirely bad. There is a quiet satisfaction in hanging in there and being able to get up and face another day. I see this determination in Dot every day. Her brain isn't all there anymore, and her body definitely isn't all there. Aging and adversity doesn't seem to phase her though. She wakes up every morning comfortable in the knowledge that she is a dog. This seems to be enough. She enjoys smelling things. She loves to eat. And she sleeps a lot. I have a feeling that she doesn't search for the meaning of life at all. This is probably a better way to live.

I seldom think about the meaning of life on Sundays. I'm too tired. In addition to burning off a lot of calories at the gym, I cleaned the entire house with the Dyson and made a valiant attempt to straighten up my office. It's gotten so bad that I have to approach cleaning the office like archaeology. Today I removed hundreds of small tools, broken watches, computer cables, and other dusty objects off an unused workbench. I cleaned each of these objects and then cleaned the workbench itself, which was covered by a thick layer of dust. I should have cleaned the bench months ago, but it was just too much trouble to clear it off. It looks better now. Things that have been out of place for years are now back where they belong. A few things were thrown away and I even found a couple of things that had been lost for months. Was it worth the two hours it took to de-clutter a small two foot by six foot surface? Maybe. The problem is that the dust will return. Remember, there is no finish line.

I took today's picture of the moon before I went to bed last night. I just pointed the little point-and-shoot camera I take with me when I walk the dogs at the moon and clicked the shutter. There was no telescope, no tripod, no exposure calculations, no real effort at all. When I was in high school I became fascinated with astronomy and would spend hours trying to take pictures of the moon through a small telescope. Most of my efforts didn't turn out as well as this lazy, effortless shot. That's the way life should be. As you continue doing the things you have always done, they should gradually become easier. My aching body and somewhat muddled brain beg to differ. Like it or not, most things become much harder as we grow older.

Lexi is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1573

The weather forecast was right. It rained all day today. There were a couple of short windows of opportunity were I was able to take the dogs outside to do their business, but basically we didn't leave the house today. A cold front must have passed through last night, because it was about 20 degrees colder than it was yesterday. It would have been a good day to light a fire in the fireplace, if we had a fireplace. It might have been a good day to watch a movie on TV as well, if there was anything I felt like watching. We get hundreds of cable channels, but there are only three or four of them that I actually watch. Half the channels in Dallas are in Spanish anyway. On the movie channels, the same Disney movies, Lifetime chickflix, Apocalyptic action movies, and the perennial You've Got Mail and Forest Gump seem to play over and over again.

This was especially irritating today when I paid my latest cable bill and noticed that it had gone up by 30%. What a waste of money. I should probably drop cable entirely and just stick with Netflix and Hulu. I wish you could buy cable channels à la carte. I watch three or four channels and Janet watches three or four more. A plan that included only ten channels would probably be quite reasonable. 

The cable companies still seem quite reasonable compared to the government however. As I've grown older, I'd had to sign up for several government websites. I tried to visit several of these websites today. Each site has their own peculiar password protocols, so you can't use a common, easy-to-remember password to access all of them. What's worse, each site forces you to change your password every six months. It's ridiculous. Once you do manage to login successfully, you usually discover that all your information is wrong anyway. As I slowly learn to navigate the byzantine complexities of the Medicare system, I realize that this is probably what Obamacare will be like for everybody in the near future. I don't think my parents ever really realized that they lived in the best of times. I think I grew up at the tail end of those days of limitless opportunities. The dream may not be over, but it certainly has tarnished a bit.

On one of our short walks between the recurring thunderstorms we passed a small pale blue egg. It must have fallen out of a nearby tree during a burst of wind. The little bird inside isn't going to make it. It was very cold and wet outside today and incubating eggs need to stay warm to hatch. This unlucky egg was already stone cold. This brief encounter reminded me that nature isn't always kind. Nature still probably has a better batting average in this regard than humans do however.

Dash gets his tenth radiation treatment tomorrow. We will pass the halfway mark this week. Dash has been an inspiration through all this. Even though this has been a very rough couple of months for  him with major surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy, he still greets each day full of energy and enthusiasm. In many ways he actually seems happier now than when we started this journey. He gets lots of attention and maybe that's all a dog really wants. Dot is equally amazing. She can barely walk on some days, but she still soldiers on as if she's indestrudtible. If I had Dot's determination and Dash's optimism I would be unstoppable.

Paxton is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day