Day 3402

Godspeed Dash. I'll see you on the other side. As Janet and I prepared to say our final goodbyes, I couldn't help but think that we'd done this way too often. We got up early this morning and prepared to make the long drive to the crematorium. These places all seem to be located in little rural communities, far from the city. It was still raining when we left the house and I was hoping that we wouldn't encounter a hailstorm. Our first stop was to pick up Dash at the cancer center. Two of his favorite nurses helped us place him in the car. They'd been with him through thyroid cancer, vestibular disease, a blood clot in the heart, and much more. We all knew this was the end of an era.

I wish pets didn't have to be placed in a freezer after they died. It must be a health regulation. Dash's fur was still soft and silky, but he was very cold. Death still seems strange and mysterious to me. The body looks exactly the same. It seems natural to want to talk to the dead, but you never get an answer. I read an article recently saying scientists now think that the brain lives on for a short time after death. I'm not sure if I like this. If Dash was still aware for a few additional moments, I hope he was comforted knowing that the two people who loved him most were still right there with him.

When we arrived at The Pet Loss Center, we wrapped Dash in his favorite blanket and sat quietly in a dimly lit room with him for a while. We remembered the good times and the bad. We probably only remembered a very small fraction of our time together. The other memories will come and go for the rest of our lives. Life with Dot and Dash was unique and special. Although both Dot and Dash were sick toward the end of their lives, they were basically very healthy dogs. We did so much together.

Since we didn't want to make the long drive to the crematorium twice, we stayed in the area while Dash was being cremated. After watching as Dash's body was placed in the retort, we had lunch in a small country restaurant the crematorium staff recommended. While we waited to pick up Dash's ashes, we enjoyed one of the best meals we've had in a long time. This family restaurant has been in the same location under the same management since 1956. The menu and prices were like traveling back to our childhood in a time machine. Our Moms made this kind of food.

There are now six little urns on our coffee table. Each dog had their own personality, but they were all definitely Dalmatians. There's something special about a Dalmatian that you're not going to understand until one of these dogs joins your family. Fun times. I just wish dogs lived longer.

I took a long walk after we returned to Dallas. I need to get some better walking shoes, but I think I'm going to be doing a lot of walking this year. While I was out today I met a photographer who was taking pictures of owls. There were two large owls, a Mom and a Dad, who were keeping guard over a nest with two baby owls. The guy said the babies weren't ready to fly yet, but that occasionally they  would stick their heads out of the hole in a dead tree where they were living. We traded stories about animals we'd seen in the park and then I continued on my way. Maybe I'll come back and take pictures of these owls someday.

I took the trash out to the curb tonight. It was the only thing that seemed normal about today.

Mattie is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 3400

I like round numbers. 3400 seems reasonably close to 3500 and 3500 makes 4000 seem possible. I still don't know if I can reach my goal of writing something every evening for 5000 consecutive days, but I haven't given up yet. The thing that keeps me going is that I really don't know what is going to happen in the future. Anything could happen. Maybe the future will be worth reading about. I certainly hope something interesting occurs in the days ahead. Right now there isn't much of a story line. The blog has always been the story of two special dogs. Now that Dot and Dash are gone, so has a lot of my reasons for blogging.

We'll see what happens. Right now, I'm just trying to clean up the house. I took another load to the storage warehouse today. With Dash's support system gone, the house is stating to look bigger. I kind of miss the dog beds and kiddie gates, but there's far too much clutter around here already. It's time to restore some order to the place.

Janet brought an old computer home and wanted me to remove the hard drive so she could donate it. Nobody really wants old computers, but we've found a place that will take them. This was one of those Apple computers that looks like half of a bowling ball with a screen on a swinging chrome arm protruding from the top. I thought it would be easy to remove the hard drive, but apparently Apple didn't think this was a good idea. I had to disassemble the entire machine to access the cleverly hidden drive. It's a good thing I had a complete set of Torx screwdrivers. You couldn't even open the case with regular screwdrivers. Eventually, I finished the task, but I'm still wondering if it was worth the effort.

I got a voice message from the crematorium saying that they were unable to meet our request for a Saturday cremation. WTF? Dash's cremation is scheduled for Thursday morning. When I called to find out what was going on, the receptionist apologized immediately and told me she has been trying to reach someone else named John and had called me by mistake. "I'm so sorry," she said. "We'll see you tomorrow morning." "Tomorrow is Wednesday," I told her. "Our appointment is for Thursday morning." "Oh, I'm so sorry," she told me again. "I don't know why I even said that. Your appointment is definitely scheduled for Thursday." Somewhat reassured, I hung up the phone and continued my housecleaning.

I'm continuing my efforts to keep walking. Walking without a dog is just exercise, but at least Mr. Fitbit is happy. Somehow I've convinced myself that I need to take at least ten thousand steps a day. Ten thousand steps is easy with a dog. It's a little harder when you're just wandering around the house.

This is going to take a while. Dogs of ours have gone to the Rainbow Bridge before, but there was always another dog waiting to greet us when we returned to pick up the pieces. This is the first time there have been no dogs in the house for a very long time. It's awfully quiet around here.

Becker is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 3398

Dash had a lot more friends than I realized. I was overwhelmed as condolences poured in from around the world yesterday. Thanks to all of you for sharing our story for all these years and finding a place in your heart for a very special dog. Newcomers to the blog may not realize that I've been writing about dogs for a very long time. Years ago I used to be a contributing editor for a strange little magazine called The Dalmatian Quarterly. This was back in the day when people still read things printed on paper and odd publications like this could survive and thrive. The Dalmatian Quarterly is long gone, but my interest in dogs continued. I included a few dog stories in a book I wrote called The Road to Nowhere. People liked these stories, so I wrote a book about our first Dalmatian called Wag. After Spot passed away, I wrote another book about our next Dalmatian called Petey's Place. By the time Dot and Dash became part of our lives, I had discovered blogging and the rest is history.

It's still hard to get used to a world without dogs. When I came home from the gym this afternoon, I immediately went to the bedroom to check on Dash. Checking on Dash has become such an integral part of my life in recent years that it took a second or two to realize he wasn't there. His support system was definitely still in place. There were throw rugs to help him walk in every room. Puppy training pads were everywhere because you never knew when Dash would need to poop. All my pants and most of my jackets still have poop bags in the pockets. There were lots of kiddie gates to create safe spaces for Dash when I had to be away. There were an enormous amount of dog blankets and at least three dog beds in different parts of the house. You can't have too many dog blankets.

It's going to take a long time to make the house presentable again. I took the rugs back to the storage warehouse this afternoon. We may need them again someday. It's a lot more likely that another old Dalmatian will need them first. Friends gave us rugs when Dot's legs began to fail and we'll probably give these rugs to someone else. The gates will get used again too. Gates can be helpful with older dogs, but they are absolutely essential with puppies.

Eventually, all the blankets will be washed and put away. There will be one blanket that goes with Dash as he takes his final trip with us in the car a few days from now. We always wrap our dogs in their favorite blanket and drive them to be cremated ourselves. We make a paw print in clay, clip a tiny amount of fur to keep, and then gently carry our friend to the crematory. I will place Dash in the oven myself. Not everyone does it this way, but it just seems right. If you start your journey together, you should end your journey together. I will need to makes the arrangements tomorrow morning. We will go to the same place where we took Dot. They were extremely kind to us.

It was weird to experience uninterrupted sleep again. I didn't wake up once last night. I didn't even get up to go to the bathroom. It's been a long time since that happened. When I woke up around 6:30 AM I felt rested. There was no point in getting up early though. The only reason I ever got up early was to walk Dash before it became too hot. I guess I'm going to need to continue walking in the park to take pictures for the blog. I still need a new picture every day. It's going to seem strange walking without a dog though. It feels like I've been walking dogs forever.

Thanks again for thinking about us yesterday. It means a lot.

Flash is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 2717

We got up early this morning and took Dot on her final journey. For as long as we've had dogs, we've always wrapped them in their favorite blanket when they passed away and driven them to be cremated ourselves. It was a long drive this morning, but it gave Janet and I a chance for closure. We talked about our favorite memories with Dot and when the time came, I lifted Dot up and placed her on the brick floor of the retort as we said our final goodbyes. Maybe it's just a silly symbolic gesture, but I always feel better knowing that I was there until the very end.

Death is such a strange process. One minute you're alive and then a few seconds later, you're not. The body looks exactly the same, but the spirit has vanished. As I stood next to Dot at the crematorium and stroked her soft ears, it seemed like she was just sleeping. She looked peaceful and remarkably similar to the dog I've watched sleeping next to me on the floor for the past year.

I have no idea how a dog's mind actually works, but I hope that Dot had come to terms with the temporary nature of life before she passed away. I not sure either of my parents came to terms with death and I'm not sure I will either. Life is very fragile. I think all of us should embrace and make the most of the gift of life, but I don't think we should fear death either. It's going to happen to all of us.

When my Dad died, I was the only one who sat in a room and talked with him just before he was cremated. Nobody else in the family wanted to face death that closely, but I found this time peaceful and comforting. I had a long conversation with my Dad. I thanked him for all the opportunities he'd given me over the years and chided him for being such an idiot to fall for one of those Nigerian prince scams toward the end of his life. We weren't always close, but this was one of the better conversations we'd ever had.

Dot knew that we loved her, but as I talked with her in the crematorium's viewing room, I wondered if she realized what a huge influence she had on me. This small dog had made me a better person. Janet and I were quiet as we returned to Dallas. We both knew that there was a large hole in our lives that would take a while to fill.

I'm glad we made the trip when we did, because later in the day there was a horrendous thunderstorm that caused localized flooding all over the place. If we'd been on the road in that storm, our trip would have taken ten times as long. I had planned on returning to pick up Dot's ashes later today, but I'm glad I didn't. Dash was terrified of the loud thunder and I spent a good part of the afternoon sitting under a makeshift blanket tent on the bed with him.

The power flickered this afternoon, but it didn't go out. Janet's drive home from work took forever, but at least the road wasn't underwater like it was in some parts of the city. We had a nice quiet dinner as the storm subsided. As we looked around a house strewn with traction rugs, dog beds, gates, and improvised pens designed to keep Dot safe, we realized that it was going to be a long time before life returned to normal.

Charlie is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day