Day 1155

I joined HARO a few weeks ago. HARO, which stands for "help a reporter out" is kind of a neat idea. Participating reporters and TV producers send out e-mail queries for story ideas they'd like to pursue. If you've got the information or expertise they need, you reply and maybe you'll be a feature story in a newspaper or a guest on a talk show. On the other hand, maybe someone will just steal your idea and you'll get nothing. I'm not sure if crowdsourcing creativity will work, but it has been interesting to see what reporters are looking for these days. "Looking for chefs who have converted pot pie or other comfort foods into soup." "Looking for experts on eyebrow transplants." "Looking for someone who has added a third story to their house." "Looking for lawyers to discuss the different types of hit and run." "Looking for bullies who are willing to tell their stories on camera." "Looking for medical doctors willing to share old wives tales their moms told them growing up." "Looking for hermaphrodites who have been through puberty."

I get these e-mails every morning, filled with dozens and dozens of equally ridiculous story ideas from reputable newspapers and TV stations. It certainly wasn't what I thought reporters spent their time thinking about. Who knows. Maybe if I keep reading these queries, I'll find a reporter who is looking for an expert at removing water from a flat roof, or maybe someone will want to interview me about the best techniques for removing mud from a dog's paws.

It was another gray, rainy day. There's not much to do on days like this. I try to avoid driving because I'll just have to wash the car all over again. I'm always doing laundry on days like these because the dogs get filthy. Today, I miscalculated and we all got soaked on our morning walk, even though I'd already checked the weather radar on my iPad before we left the house. After I dried everyone off, I looked for new places to place the roach bait I bought yesterday. Like I said, it wasn't a very interesting day.

You'd think by looking at the little orange flower I photographed this morning that my day was filled with subtle beauty and wonder. Nope!  It was just another rainy day.

Lucy is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1154

I forgot to send in my quarterly estimated taxes again. This wasn't the first time I forgot, and it probably won't be the last. I have gotten so accustomed to e-mail reminders and smartphone messages that I've almost lost the ability to remember anything on my own. You'd think the government would have the resources to send a little reminder to my phone like everybody else, but apparently not. At any rate, I mailed in a check today and I'm up to speed again, but I wouldn't be surprised if I forget again in April.

After I finished my website work for the day, I paid a visit to a nearby exterminator to get some advice about getting rid of bugs. I learned that cockroaches seek out both moisture and heat, which might explain why I see them in the bathroom and near the furnace. If you don't like chasing after them with a paper towel, you can just spray them with rubbing alcohol or a mixture of soapy water. Both elixirs will apparently kill the bugs quickly. After talking with the bug man for about twenty minutes I came home with some stuff that your spray on your exterior walls using a pressure sprayer and some encapsulated powder that you squirt into cracks and crevices inside your house. Poison is surprisingly expensive. I hope this stuff works.

Did you watch the Grammys last night?  Some of the awards were baffling, but the all-star tribute performances were great. The tribute to Bob Marley with Bruno Mars, Sting, Rihanna and several Marleys showed considerable musicianship, but was an odd sort of tribute since they didn't play any Bob Marley songs. Much better was the tribute to Levon Helm. I always liked Helm's "The Weight" and it was fun to listen to Elton John, Mavis Staples, Brittany Howard and members of Mumford & Sons and The Zac Brown Band trade verses. I guess it made sense for Fun to win with We Are Young, but Frank Ocean's odd performance of the odd song Forest Gump made no sense at all. I wish I still had the HD channels on my TV. It would have been fun to watch the Grammys in HD. I learned on Facebook this morning that the now full grown son of one of my Seattle advertising friends produced the Grammy nominated album by the Lumineers. Jeez, how time flies. The kid was a baby when I lived in Seattle.

I keep waiting for a Dalmatian to win the Westminster dog show. At least last year, the Dalmatian won the non-sporting category and got to compete for best of show. This year, the Dalmatian wasn't so lucky. The non-sporting title reverted to one of those little white Bichons that look like a child's stuffed animal. Oh well. I thought the Dalmatian was the best tonight. I changed the channel as soon as the Dalmatian lost.

Lady Gogh is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1153

I shouldn't have been this tired today. We had a leisurely breakfast and attended a pet parade. That was about it. Maybe I just didn't get enough sleep. The dogs woke me up during the night, frightened by a passing thunderstorm. By the time I got back to sleep again, it was morning. The first thing I did when I got up was sweep the water off the roof. Since we were going to be away at a Mardi Gras parade for most of the day, I didn't want to give the water the upper hand.

After breakfast, we loaded the dogs and a bunch of Dalmatian Rescue stuff into the car and drove 32 miles north to McKinney, Texas. It took longer to drive up to McKinney than it took to parade around the town square. This was a very short parade. I think the dogs enjoyed themselves, but they were quite tired when they returned home late in the day.

Janet liked the little tracking wristlet I got the other day and bought one for herself. Not surprisingly, she is more active than I am. We both walked more than six miles though. Not bad for a lazy Sunday afternoon. Most of my walking was taking stuff back and forth from the car to where the Dalmatian Rescue tent was set up for the event. I'm glad this is the last event for a while. Like I said, I'm tired.

I've got to find a more effective way to get rid of the bugs that are finding their way into the house. This had been the worst Winter for bugs that I can remember. Other people we know are having the same problem. Maybe it's the warm Winter, or maybe the bugs are just getting tougher. They're certainly hard to get rid of this year. Especially, when you can't spread copious amounts of poison around the house. The growing population of feral cats in the neighborhood has pretty well taken care of the rat problem we used to have in the neighborhood. I guess these cats don't like bugs though. Or maybe the rats used to eat the bugs. I don't really know how the critter food chain works in the park.

It looks like a busy week ahead. It's time to start working on my taxes again. There are several writing jobs to complete. The house could use a good vacuuming too. I still don't know what to do with all the extra time I've unlocked by eating oatmeal. My elaborate breakfasts used to be one of the best time wasting activities I had.

Cooper is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1152

I'm going to have to change my approach to problem solving. My caller ID disappeared earlier this week and my first thought was that there was something wrong with the phones themselves. The phones were fine. Next, I thought it was a problem with the line and called AT&T. The lines were fine too. Finally, a U-verse technical support guy in India asked me if I'd tried re-booting the modem. Apparently, re-booting the modem is the U-verse universal solution for everything. I re-booted the modem, just like I do when the TV goes out, and my caller ID service returned. I keep forgetting that my television, Internet, and phone service are all the same stream of broadband data.

Janet and I got our blood tested at the neighborhood health food store this morning. Traditionally, I treat myself to a huge gut-buster breakfast after fasting for these early morning cholesterol screenings. Not today! Janet and I did go out for breakfast, but I had a veggie omelet filled with red peppers, portabella mushrooms, fresh herbs and goat cheese instead of my usual sausages, bacon, pancakes and maple syrup. The veggie omelet was delicious. Who knew?

It was a gray, misty day. The dogs didn't want to go outside and neither did I. We took our regular walk anyway though, because that's what we always do. Something must have been going on at Erykah's house when we walked by. It looked like babysitters, hairdressers, public relations people, and the rest of the entourage had all gathered for something special. I have no idea what goes on in that house, but it all seems pretty exotic to me. Maybe it's because I used to be a musician myself and still occasionally fantasize about what it would be like to be a rock star. My own days as a bass player weren't glamorous at all. On those nights when I was loading the PA system back into the trailer at 2 AM and realized the entire band had only made $100 for playing a four hour set, advertising definitely seemed the more desirable career choice.

I took another jacket to the tailor this afternoon to get a new zipper sewn in. Zippers all seem to be total crap these days. I can remember when strong metal zippers were made by Talon in Meadville, Pennsylvania. These reliable zippers lasted longer than the jackets they were attached to. Now, it's all cheap plastic made-in-China zippers that don't even last a single season. Sign of the times, I guess.

I hope the weather gets a little warmer tomorrow. Dot and Dash are supposed to be in a Mardi Gras parade. Janet is putting the finishing touches on their costumes right now. If the weather gets any worse, they'll be wearing raincoats instead.

Jazz it today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1151

It was surprisingly busy for a day when nothing actually happened. I decided to try out somebody else's oatmeal on my Friday restaurant outing this morning. It was exactly the same as mine. Then I went to the grocery store and got more healthy food for dinner. When I got home, the liver institute called to schedule a MRI for later in the month. About an hour later, another doctor called to remind me of a blood test tomorrow.

At first glance, this may not seem like a very exciting life. My challenge these days is to make these new routines exciting. I have a feeling that my future may depend on them.

There were quite a few website revisions to make today. I have a feeling that all the websites I manage are slowly slipping away from me. A lot of what I do these days is making sure that the client's websites keep up with what they've already posted on Facebook. It's so easy to change stuff on social media sites that people start thinking their websites should be the same way. I shouldn't complain though. I would have been out of the website business a long time ago if it weren't for all these silly changes.

I finished a couple of writing jobs as well. I needn't have hurried though. My client had already left for the weekend by the time I turned them in. I don't know if I'm a better writer than I used to be, but I'm a much faster writer now. I amaze myself sometimes at how quickly I zip through these assignments.

The dogs are invited to another Mardi Gras parade this weekend. This one is a small local parade in McKinney, Texas. All we really do is walk the dogs around the block while we are circling the courthouse in the town square. It's fun when the weather is nice, and a little chilly on the years when Mardi Gras comes early. Whatever the weather is like this weekend, it's bound to be a lot nicer than what people are experiencing in the Northeast right now. Every Winter, I'm glad I live in Texas. Of course, every Summer I start to think otherwise.

Taylor is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1150

I spent most of my day answering questions. There were e-mail questions. There were telephone questions. And then there were lots of questions around a conference table at a meeting during the afternoon. I don't really like answering questions. The questions themselves aren't so bad. It's the fact that nobody listens to my answers that gets old. Everyone acts like they're listening, but two or three days later I usually notice that the final outcome has nothing to do with anything I may have said. Usually, when people ask you questions, they just want you to agree with them.

If I was smart, I would agree with everything my client's say. It's easier that way. I usually feel compelled to tell my side of the story though, which seldom accomplishes anything. Maybe I just want to be able to say "I told you so," when things begin to go wrong later.

My little tracker wristlet said I only slept 4 hours and 34 minutes last night. I woke up three times and lay awake in bed a total of 2 hours and 18 minutes. That's not good. Only 1 hour and 58 minutes of my total sleep was the deep sleep that restores you for the next day. As depressing as all this sounds, I wasn't really surprised. I know the dogs keep me awake a lot. They're light sleepers and so am I. Janet, on the other hand, can sleep through anything. It's not all bad news though. Even though I'm only getting 57% of the sleep I need, I am apparently getting over 125% of the exercise I need.

When faced with a choice of doing a bunch of mindless website revisions or getting my February invoices out, I opted to do my monthly billing today and get the invoices in the mail. I should have plenty of time to get all the website stuff done tomorrow, since a long morning meeting I'd been dreading got postponed until next Friday. There's plenty to do tomorrow, but I think my most important decision will be what to have for breakfast. This will be my first restaurant Friday since I've adopted my new healthy diet. Pancakes aren't on the list. Neither are waffles. Biscuits and gravy are out. Bacon is definitely a no-no. I guess I could have an omelet, but I couldn't stuff it full of bacon, ham, chorizo, and cream cheese like I usually do. There's always oatmeal, but where's the fun in that? I've been eating oatmeal all week.

Stortz is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1149

I got a haircut today. Instead of talking about upcoming vacation plans, like I usually do with my stylist, we ended up talking about funeral planning. Betty's father is sick and evidently she is in charge of making the arrangements when the time comes. I was surprised at how much actually I knew about the subject, since it isn't often a topic of conversation. It certainly isn't something you talk about in a hair salon very often. It's been a long time since I've had to make funeral arrangements, but I guess its something you never forget.

When my haircut was finished, I stopped by the Apple store on the way out of the mall and got one of those little wristlets that tracks all your activities during the day. I'm not all that interested in counting calories, but this thing is supposed to be able to tell you how long it takes you to go to sleep and then tracks your light and deep sleep cycles during the night, as well as identifies any waking moments. I don't feel like I get that much sleep, since the dogs are always waking me up. It will be interesting to see if I get any deep sleep at all. I'm afraid the little wristlet will embarrass me and tell me that I'm asleep during the day. It would be an easy mistake for a gizmo to make. I don't move around much when I write.

I think the dogs thought we were taking them on another road trip when we went to training class tonight. They both seemed real disappointed when we arrived at the field where all the dogs were. Dot didn't even want to get out of the car. When we started the exercises, the dogs seemed distracted. Dot would come to other owners voices by mistake and Dash was so fidgety that he would hardly stay still at all. Eventually, they settled down and did everything right, but I don't think they were really into being trained this evening.

I'm a bit surprised at how easy it's been so far to modify my diet. I haven't been seriously tempted by anything yet. I guess this makes sense in an odd sort of way. I'm totally a creature of habit. I'm in the process now of substituting good habits for bad ones, but they are still just habits. Once the new habits become familiar and turn into rituals, it should be easy to maintain them. Habits are a lot different than cravings. Cravings are fueled by desire. Habits, on the other hand, are fueled by laziness. I don't have a whole lot of desire, but I have an abundance of laziness. For once, laziness might actually work to my advantage. Bye bye bacon. Oatmeal, here I come.

Landry is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1148

There's been a lot of controversy on the Internet lately about whether Allopurinol actually works to prevent bladder stones. For years this drug has been the recommended treatment to prevent recurrent urate bladder stones in Dalmatians. My vet recommends Allopurinol and I know many Dalmatian owners who use it. I've always considered the medication very safe. Unfortunately, now there are a group of vets who beg to differ. They say Allopurinol can actually cause the formation of struvite stones. Evidently, unless the pH of the dog's urine is completely neutral, the drug can do more harm than good. I only mention all this because Dash has always been prone to bladder stones. Now, we've got to decide whether to discontinue his Allopurinol treatment or keep on doing what we've been doing for years.

Medicine always seems to be this way. Doctors will tell you something for years and years and then one day you'll go in for a visit and your doctor will say "Never mind. Forget everything I've told you for the past ten years." This has happened to me before and it's always disconcerting. I like to think of doctors as infallible, but that is never the case. Medicine changes and doctors change their minds about a lot of things, just like the rest of us.

The Dow Jones industrial average crossed the 14,000 mark several times today, but apparently my stocks didn't get the memo. I ended up down for the day as the market approached a record high. My Yum Brands shares got clobbered because the Chinese apparently have problems with the Colonel's finger lickin' good chicken. My Baidu shares, on the other hand, got clobbered because investors had problems with the Chinese. It's always disappointing to do poorly on a good day. I'm getting used to it though.

Maybe I'm just imagining things, but I think I'm already starting to feel better as a result of my new diet. I wake up with more energy and don't seem to be as tired during the day. The differences aren't dramatic, but I do notice a change. This is certainly enough of an incentive to keep going with my quest for a healthier lifestyle. Who knows. Maybe I'll even grow to like these changes.

A friend of mine mentioned that he might have a video project for me. That would be a refreshing change from all the drivel I'm writing now. I'd better not count my chicken before they hatch though. The new project might actually be worse than what I'm doing now. I need to find out more.

Zorro is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1147

My learning journey continues. Oatmeal mixed with fresh blueberries and strawberries and sweetened with a little Stevia is actually delicious. Who would have thought? Maybe I can live without bacon after all. I also learned that the Kale I'm eating in my salad is actually the very same purple plant that I used to buy in pots at the garden store to put on the front porch during the Winter. I always thought these ornamental plants were pretty, but never knew you could eat them. I certainly had no idea they were healthy.

I wish I would discover some equally enlightening things about my chosen profession. I'm really starting to get burned out with what advertising has become in recent years. The stuff I write never was intended to be Anna Karenina or Moby Dick. It's depressing how mindless advertising messaging has become however. For the past three or four years I keep thinking that the Super Bowl ads keep getting worse with each succeeding year. There is no subtlety anymore. It's all rudeness and explosions these days. Coke, GoDaddy, Priceline... there wasn't a coherent idea between them. I didn't even like a lot of the commercials that the young bloggers gave rave reviews on their websites. I thought the Taco Bell spot with the old people escaping the retirement home was kind of insulting and even though I thought the Tide "Stain" spot was clever, it wasn't that great. On the other hand I did like some of the commercials that the young folk thought were insulting. The Volkswagen spot featuring white people talking like Jamaicans was panned by many reviewers who said the spot was racially insensitive. What a bunch of politically correct nonsense. That Volkswagen commercial was one of the few genuinely funny spots I saw all night.

Like many of you, I loved the Paul Harvey "Farmer" spot for Dodge Ram. I was terribly disappointed however to discover that the Dodge Ram ad agency didn't actually come up with this idea. A much smaller Chicago agency had already used the exact same Paul Harvey dialog in another commercial earlier. This is sad to me. Copying has become so mainstream that people don't even think it is wrong anymore. Most of my clients would actually rather copy or emulate something that already exists than to take a chance on something genuinely original. I haven't been asked to do anything genuinely original in years.

I was really busy today, but like I've already mentioned, I wasn't doing much original thinking. That monkey the Iranians sent into space recently could have taken my place today. I changed out pictures on websites. I paraphrased things I found on Wikipedia. I replied to mindless questions with equally mindless answers. Maybe something original will happen tomorrow.

Duke is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1146 - Super Bowl Sunday

We left Shreveport behind this morning. I was pleasantly surprised to discover that most of my fears about traveling with the dogs were unfounded. Dot and Dash definitely stepped up to the challenge. They both proved themselves to be great little travelers. With an abundance of dog friendly hotels and roads leading in every direction, who knows where we'll go next.

After we returned to Dallas, I made my annual pilgrimage to the Culwell & Son Superbowl Sale. I go to this extravagant sale every year, because although I no longer go anywhere and don't have money to waste, I still like really nice clothes. I walked away with a couple of great looking shirts and a pair of khakis and went home to watch the Super Bowl.

We usually pig out and eat enormous amounts of meat on Super Bowl Sunday, but in honor of my new found desire to live a healthy life, Janet fixed a delicious and equally nutritious meal. I think she is happy that I'm giving up bacon, ribs and eating half a loaf of bread at dinner. Janet and the dogs have always eaten healthy meals. I've always been the anchor that kept this family's health boat from sailing. Now, maybe with everyone on the same page, doing the right thing may be a little easier for everybody.

You may wonder why I waited so long to do something so obvious. Part of the answer lies in the charmed life I've led. For most of my life I've been able to do all the wrong things and still land on my feet. I ate atrociously and never gained weight. I was a horrible employee and still managed to land a long series of really good jobs. I won't even tell you some of the other things I did, but I can assure you they weren't good. It is becoming increasingly obvious that I've used up eight of my nine lives. I can be foolish and frivolous, but I'm a realist. The time has come to make a few changes.

When I was watching the Super Bowl this evening, I was amazed at how much a power outage at the stadium changed the whole momentum of the game. The Ravens seemed invincible before the power outage knocked out the stadium lights. It was just a random event that delayed the game for fifteen or twenty minutes, but it changed everything. The Ravens floundered and struggled after the delay destroyed their momentum and barely managed to hang onto a narrow win in the game's final seconds. I think life is like this a lot. Random outside events can confuse you and quickly change everything. I guess the lesson of this game is that when life throws you a curve, the only thing you can count on is discipline. You've got to keep plugging away until luck shines on you again. A little simplistic, perhaps, but it worked for the Ravens.

Casey is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1145 - Ground Hog Day

Well, now I can say I've ridden on a Mardi Gras float. Although this little adventure was never on my bucket list, it is an experience I'll never forget. The first couple of hours were kind of interesting. The last four hours reminded me of that old Kingston Trio song about a man named Charlie who was trapped forever riding the M.T.A. Apparently hundreds of thousands of people absolutely love these parades, but I'm not so sure. Riding a float with twelve Dalmatians  through an endless tunnel of rowdy drunks while enduring a sound system dishing out The Village People singing YMCA over and over again at 110 decibels is a lot more like my own private version of hell.

Although I thought the parade would never, ever end, there were brief moments when it all made sense. There is an intoxicating power in the knowledge that you can make huge crowds of people scream and fight over the baubles and trinkets you are throwing out the windows to them. Of course, you have to remember that the crowd can turn ugly very quickly when you run out of things to throw. When we ran out of our bangles and baubles, people started throwing their beer at us.

Dot and Dash were absolutely exhausted when the day was finally over. So was I. Maybe the next time we take them somewhere we should try for something a bit more sedate. A walk along the beach would be nice. Today was more like a walk on the wild side. I'm definitely glad our float didn't run out of gas and leave us at the mercy of that crowd. Not really my cup of tea.

Punxsutawney Phil didn't see his shadow this morning, so I guess we'll have an early Spring. Early Spring sounds good to me. Since I forgot to take my warm coat on this little adventure, I've been cold all weekend. I've been having trouble maintaining my resolve to eat more vegetables too. The food is quite good here, but in a place where Alligator Bites wind up on the appetizer menu, vegetables are just an afterthought. I did have an apple for dinner, but it wasn't on purpose. There just happened to be one in the room. After today's marathon, we were just too tired to go out to dinner. The dogs are already asleep. I will be soon.

Jasper is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1144

I think even Dot was amazed today. Our first attempt at a car trip with the dogs was a resounding success. Dash was unbelievably good. He whined a bit for the first 50 miles, but after that we didn't hear a peep out of him. It probably helped that Janet sat in the back seat between the two dogs during the entire trip, but Dot and Dash certainly did their part. They were good little travelers.

When we arrived at our destination, the surprises continued. The hotel staff seemed delighted to see two Dalmatians checking in and were very nice to us. When we got the food and water bowls set up in the room and scattered a few dog blankets around, Dot and Dash acted like traveling was the most normal thing in the world.

Truthfully, the dogs adapted to the rigors of traveling much better than I did. I'm never very good at planning ahead. I should have checked the temperature and worn a warmer coat. I should have worn more comfortable shoes for driving as well. Luckily, I did remember my reading glasses, or I'd have had a hard time writing tonight's entry.

Dash seems to be having a great time making flying leaps onto the hotel bed. To make things easy on the dogs, we've always had very low platform beds at home. Dash seems very proud of himself that he can hop on top of a bed five times taller than the one he's used to at home. Dot, unfortunately is not so nimble anymore. She's getting old and we have to lift her into the bed. Luckily, she sleeps soundly. If we put her in the middle of the bed, there's little danger that she'll fall off.

Tomorrow will be an even bigger adventure than today. Dot and Dash, along with about a dozen other Dalmatians, will be featured guests in a big Mardi Gras parade. All the dogs have elaborate, satin embroidered Mardi Gras coats that make them look suspiciously like Elvis in his latter years. The dogs will all be riding in a special trolley and their handlers will be tossing small Dalmatian plush toys out to the crowd instead of the traditional beads.

I had initially thought about making a short documentary about this unlikely event, but holding on to Dash's leash during the parade will be a full time job. I've already learned the hard way that cameras and Dalmatians don't go well together.

Dash is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1143

This is going to take a while. Usually, when I'm in a hurry and don't feel like cooking, I'll run down to a nearby barbecue joint and get the brisket platter to bring home for dinner. Tonight, I went to Central Market and got a broccoli, tomato and garlic salad; a grape, walnut and blue cheese salad; and a bowl of tomato bisque. The meal was tasty and satisfying but I couldn't visualize portion sizes very well and bought too much. That's one of the things I don't like about fresh vegetables. They don't stay fresh very long. I forget about the leftovers and they inevitably go bad. Cured meats on the other hand, seem to last forever.

I really haven't had any major goals for quite a while. I have a tendency to just get up and plod through the day, doing whatever is necessary to keep treading water until bedtime. Goals probably aren't such a bad thing. Maybe staying alive a little longer would be an excellent goal to start with. I'm going to try my best to make this healthy diet work. So, if you hear me talking about bacon and cheeseburgers in a month from now, you'll know I'm just another backslider.

We're planning on taking the dogs on a little road trip. We've always wanted to go on a real vacation with them, but so far we haven't been able to go more than five miles without a major mishap. Dot is just as territorial in the car as she is at home. When we pull up at a stoplight, she'll start barking like crazy at people crossing the street or waiting for a bus. Dot's barking usually throws Dash into a panic and he'll wriggle out of his car harness like a canine Houdini and then he's all over the place. Janet is an optimist though. She thinks that if she sits in back with them, the dogs will be calm and well behaved. I have my doubts, but since they spend most of their day sleeping around the house, there ought to be a way to get them to sleep in the car as well.

A friend of mine wants to send a little health care business my way. He asked if I had ever done any of this type of writing and of course I said "sure." I knew I'd done quite a bit of health care writing. I just couldn't remember what it was. A quick search revealed that I'd written an ad campaign about impotency, some brochures about surgical scrubs made out of paper, and a physical therapy video that featured a lot of old people bobbing around in a huge swimming pool. I've done a huge amount of work for veterinarians, of course, but I'm always a bit hesitant to tell doctors and hospital administrators that I consider veterinary medicine to be more or less the same as whatever they're doing. We'll see how it goes. My new business pitches usually go pretty well unless someone wants to actually see me in person.

Cooper is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1142

I had an enjoyable lunch with a friend of mine today. We talked about how much ad agencies have changed since the "Mad Men" days when we both worked at an agency together. Then the subject changed to disastrous oil and gas investments both of us had made. Finally, we tried to top each other with stories about bad doctors and medical nightmares. It definitely wasn't a three martini lunch, since neither of us drank anymore. We both agreed that sixty was definitely not the new forty.

After lunch I went for a consultation with my new nutritionist. I was really impressed with the guy and learned more about the root causes of my various ailments in a two hour consultation than I have in several years of doctor visits.

I've known for some time that I needed to change my diet. I just haven't had anyone tell me exactly how or why. Now I have a plan. Right now, I'm consuming way too much protein and not enough vegetables. I need to cut back significantly on grains. Even whole grains are not that great if you have too much grain in your diet. The reason is that breads and grains easily converted to sugar and excessive sugar is one of the main causes of diabetes. I should be eating a diet that consists of no more than 10% grains and 20% animal proteins. The rest should be fresh vegetables. I should be eating four times more alkaline foods than acid foods to keep everything in balance.

Foods like broccoli, brussel sprouts, kale, cabbage, artichokes and raw garlic are beneficial to the liver, while shellfish, alcohol, fats, and sugar are bad. Too much iron in the body is really bad for a person like me. Cauliflower and Oranges are good however. I'm going to have to make some changes. Some of my favorite foods like sushi, shrimp, bacon, and waffles are to be avoided. Oh, I need to excercise more too. Apparently, sweating is one of the most effective ways of eliminating toxins from the body.

None of this sounds like a lot of fun. Eating extravagantly rich food has always been one of my primary pleasures. On the other hand, I've been served vegetarian meals that are just as delicious as a well marbled steak. These meals always seemed difficult and time consuming to prepare, unfortunately. I may be a foodie, but I can't say that I really enjoy cooking. To successfully reform my diet, I need to find an easy, lazy man's way to enjoy my vegetables. The best solution for me would be a restaurant that consistently served delicious, totally healthy meals. Chefs are notorious for their liberal use of salt, butter and fat unfortunately. It's not surprising. These ingredients are usually what makes food taste so good.

It's not going to be easy, but radically improving my diet is going to be one of my primary goals for 2013. It might even take precedence over getting a new roof.

Malcolm is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1141

I don't know how I used to survive without weather radar apps on my phone and tablets. I totally depend on these things now. Even on days like today when the rain never seems to stop, I manage to find little pockets of calm when I can walk the dogs.

I used to live in fear of being struck by lightning when I found myself miles from home with two panic stricken Dalmatians in the middle of a sudden thunderstorm. This doesn't happen anymore. I carefully plot wind direction and speed using the radar apps and take the dogs outside during lulls between the passing squalls. I tell Dot and Dash that we don't have much time. They know they only have eight minutes to pee, poop and finish their business before we have to be home again. So far this new plan works fabulously. The dogs storm instincts are much better than mine anyway. They only panic if they think I don't know what's coming and am leading them into danger. Today, although everything got soaked; we didn't.

There's not much to do on a rainy day. Since I don't like to drive in the rain, I'm usually just stuck inside with the dogs, waiting for things to clear up. Luckily, I had plenty of writing and website work to keep me busy today. One of the charities I work with has a new volunteer who is full of energy and new ideas. This is great for the charity, but I'm not sure how great it will be for me. My workload has already increased. Things were easier when my contacts were just as tired and overworked as I am. I seldom get behind if I'm working with someone who is in even worse shape than I am.

I'm having lunch tomorrow with a friend who had a heart attack recently. Hopefully, he can give me some tips that can help me avoid the same fate. When friends and I used to have lunch, the talk usually centered around fast cars, music, and weird things our clients did. Now the conversation always seems to be about who has had the scariest near death experience. Talking about health problems has its benefits though. I usually think I'm falling apart until I listen to other people's trials and tribulations. Then I realize that things aren't so bad after all.

The weather radar on my phone says that the storms are almost over. That's good!  Maybe I'll get a decent amount of sleep tonight.

Spirit is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1140

It's hard to believe that it's been 27 years since the Space Shuttle Challenger exploded. It seems like yesterday. I was still working in an ad agency at the time, but only four years away from starting my own company. We all watched in total disbelief in the agency conference room as the shuttle disintegrated on live TV. Space flight has always been dangerous. I was an avid fan of the Apollo program when I was in college and was devastated when a fire destroyed the first Apollo capsule, killing all three astronauts. Years later, I actually heard the sonic boom as the Space Shuttle Columbia exploded over Texas during re-entry. I was walking the dogs at the time and didn't even realize what the loud noise was until I turned on the TV when I got home. Despite all the danger, I still wish we had become a spacefaring nation instead of a nation of whiners. It would be nice to see a colony on Mars during my lifetime. I have my doubts that this will ever happen though.

The law works in mysterious ways. I got a letter telling me that my subpoena had been withdrawn. Then, less than two hours later I got a call telling me that I had been subpoenaed all over again. WTF?  When I asked what was going on, the lawyer told me that after giving the matter some thought, they felt bad about having me served and decided to withdraw the first subpoena. He said they usually only served people who they thought would be hostile witnesses. OK. That sounds good to me. When I asked why I received a second subpoena, he said "Well, we still need your testimony."

I really can't figure out the weather we're having this winter. One day, it's bitter cold and I have to put on the dogs winter coats before we venture outside. The next day it could be sunny and seventy degrees. Back and forth like this it goes. Today was totally confusing. For most of the day it was gloomy and grey like you'd expect on a Winter's day. The temperature was 75 degrees though. This was much more like Summer.

Temperatures aren't the only thing that's been confusing me lately. I've been trying to come up with a healthy, low cholesterol diet that I can maintain indefinitely. It's not as easy as it seems. Yeah, I know I should eat oatmeal for breakfast, snack on raw walnuts, have plenty of fresh fruit, and substitute fish for red meat whenever I can. All this sounds great. I just haven't been able to put everything together in a tasty but brainlessly easy to follow menu yet. I did have some walnuts today though.

Molly is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day

Day 1139

I woke up feeling strange this morning. I couldn't pin down the feeling, but I suspect that it had something to do with the medication the team of hepatologists had me discontinue last week. I remember that there was a warning on the side of the bottle that clearly said Do not discontinue this medication without consulting your physician. Here's where things get difficult. A reputable doctor actually did tell me to discontinue the medication. Unfortunately it wasn't the same doctor who told me to start taking it in the first place. So which doctor is right? Which organ is more important, the heart or the liver? You can see why I get frustrated with medicine at times.

We took a gamble on the dog park today. It had rained at our house overnight, but there were indications that the rain never reached the northern part of town where the park was located. Weather is often like this in Dallas. It can be pouring rain in one part of the city at the same time it is sunny and dry in another. I wish the dog park had a webcam on a pole where you could just get on the Internet and see if there were dogs in the park before making the journey yourself. There are no webcams in any of the local dog parks unfortunately. The city must have spent all their webcam money putting stop light cameras at every intersection. Fortunately, the gamble paid off today and the dog park was open. Dot and Dash had a great time and both dogs have been calm for the rest of the day.

It's hard to believe that January is already coming to a close. Didn't we just celebrate Christmas? Apparently, a lot of my neighbors are having the same problem with time getting away from them. I still see Christmas trees being tossed out by the curb almost every time I walk the dogs. It's time to take down the Christmas tree folks. Pretty soon it will be time to start fretting about taxes again. With the simple life I lead, I don't know how my taxes have become so complicated. Selling a house this year probably won't help matters either. If I could have a say in where my tax money actually went, I wouldn't mind paying taxes so much. No such luck though. I'm sure that every cent of my tax dollar goes to fund something I hate. 

I'm glad I live in Texas. The temperature was over 75 degrees today. After watching all those dismal pictures of cars sliding around on icy East Coast highways this weekend, I'm happy to report that I wore a t-shirt up to the dog park today. Our chilly, foggy, days seem to be over for a while. Hey, t-shirt weather in January is just fine with me. T-shirt weather all year long is fine with me. That's all I ever wear anyway.

Sophie is today's Dalmatian of the Day

Watch of the Day